by Aqua
I watch him silently from where I'm sitting, admiring the way his body seems to flow as he moves. How can anyone be so beautiful? I sigh as I watch, longing coming over me. He doesn't know, or doesn't understand, what I feel for him. Sometimes I try to show him, it's blatantly obvious to the others, but he seems oblivious.
I'm afraid to come right out and tell him I love him. How Hiei would react, I couldn't even imagine. Sometimes he seems to like me. When we're alone, there are moments were he just stops and looks at me and my breath catches, waiting. But nothing ever happens, and life goes on normally.
Will I ever have the guts to tell him? It's stupid that I would feel so insecure. I've had
thousands of lovers in the past, and I've never hesitated to make my feelings known.
Maybe it's because I'm human now, the thought occurred to me. But I know it's not true.
It's because, this time, the feelings are pure. I've never felt honest love before, and now that
I have, I don't really know what to do with it.
The physical attraction was always there. From the moment we met, I couldn't help but notice his toned body. I wanted to run my hands through his wild hair, grab him and press my lips against his frowning ones. I wanted to see if there was any way I could break down those cold walls he's surrounded his heart in, and make him mine.
And with it came feelings that, at first, I was shocked to feel. How could I ever actually love someone? I've spent almost all of my life avoiding such connections to others. But I couldn't stop it, and it wasn't hard for me to accept it.
So now I wait, until the time presents itself where I can actually voice my feelings. I don't know if it will ever come, but I'll wait anyway. If it takes this lifetime and the next, I'll sit by him patiently and wait until the time comes that I can hold him in my arms.