Hello everyone! This is just a story of my perspective on Hazel's life after she finds out Augustus is now gone. There is also some Augustus POV's in later chapters. Reviews and Favorites would be appreciated. The first chapter is short but it does get longer by each chapter that is posted :)

Chapter 1: Hazels POV

Augustus Waters.

That's a name I haven't heard in a while.

I miss him. I do, and I wouldn't doubt it for a second. Have you ever lost a friend that you always talked too, and then one day they were just lost? Moved, died, there's plenty more but aren't they all the same?

Here I sit in my room staring at my TV. The weird thing is that it not even on. It also is dead silent in my room. Just the pumping of oxygen into my no good lungs from my oxygen tank sitting next to me. I just want a friend to talk too. Or what I really mean is that I want to talk to Augustus Waters about Augustus Waters death.

I haven't gotten out of bed in a while this week. I haven't been going to all of my classes. My parents understand but they keep telling me I have to get over it. No, I'm not. You, well I can't just let someone go. They don't know how much I cared for him. All I really have been doing is thinking about him this week. Questions that I have for him. Only if I could send a message to him but we all know that I can't. That's what tortures me. It tortures because what if he forgot about me? Maybe he is having a blast with Caroline Mathers. The girl he onced loved before me. My competition. Would he even not think of me for a second? I know it would be unfair if I have been thinking about for 24/7 and only thought about me once in a while. Thats one of my questions thats been bugging me the most.

Am I really being jealous of a girl who died not long ago falling in love with my guy that died a month ago?

Im crazy. Im confused. Everything that is the opposite of happy, excited, optimistic, per- well you get the point.

When I die, what will I expect? Will I see Augustus running into my arms telling me he loves me and will never let me go? Or will I see him kissing Caroline just behind the corner and he is telling her okay?

Okay.

My word. Our word. I didn't even notice I was crying. Tears stung my eyes. My eyes have been hurting opening and closing this week. With all the tears my eyes feel like they are a desert with crusty sand all over.

Thats when I felt chest filling, feeling like it was drowning in my own tears.

I screamed "MOM!"

I lay in the hospital. My eyes opening so slowly. Seeing my mom and my dad above me. My moms smile that I was okay. Then seeing my dad with tears down his cheeks of course. I had a funny urge of disappointment. I had felt like I was expecting someone else here? Oh wait, yes I was; Augustus Waters.

I told him I would fight this cancer.I would fight it for I felt like I lost the battle.

Why was I thinking this? Why was I thinking that I wanted to give up? Be done with cancer? Could I? I can't believe I'm thinking this but,

I wanted to be done.

"Hazel you're awake," said mom. "I love you so much!" I knew that already. "Mom, I can't do this anymore." I said it. What was on my mind. My moms face stung. Shocked her. Yet it felt like she knew I was going to say this for a couple weeks and any day. "Well we will see." My mom said, then left.

I've sat in this bed for three days now. Thinking about you know who. Just saying his name made me cry. I just know that I wasn't grenade. It was him. Yet I'm not mad because I know how cancer can be a jerk and how I can always feel what he felt.

I just hope he hadn't forgot about me.

Later that night. My lungs were filling once more. This one was different. It felt like hell. Like I was drowning in my own body. I pressed the emergency button while nurses filled the room.

I was going unconscious. And the last thing I heard was my mom screaming.

People came in all directions working on my no good lungs.

Crap. It was time. My time.

I already said my goodbyes. I did that every time they left. Just in case. Well now it came in handy.

Then it hit, the pain. My eyes going everywhere. When my eyes started to fade I heard my dad saying he loved me in between sobs. Then I heard my mom saying "Don't worry Augustus will take care of her." A thought jumped into my mind maybe he would. Or if Carol- never mind but right when I left earth I mumbled "I'm coming."

CHAPTERS WILL GET LONGER!

Well I hope you all enjoyed! More chapters are on the way! Reviews would be amazing! Chapters will get longer along the way I promise you. This was just a beginning small chapter before we get into the real story! Hope you all enjoyed, Until next time Nerdfighters :)