DISCLAIMER: Don't own anything associated with the show… I just like playing with the characters in it from time to time. Dance Monkeys! Dance!

RATING: T - Teen (language)

PAIRINGS: GSR.

SPOILERS: Through 7X23 - The Good, The Bad, & The Dominatrix

SUMMARY: Sara tries to figure out what to do after given a hard dose of the truth. GSR ANGST! Post Ep for 7X23.

A/N: I needed to do something to deal with the train wreck of an episode that 7X23 was for me. I really hate the way they handled all of that crap. So, this is my sulking fic. And thanks to my guerilla beta, this will end up being 3 chapters. However, all mistakes are mine, because I've just used them for their brains to make sure I wasn't completely off my rocker as I wrote this one.

REVIEWS: Reviews are the way I know if people are enjoying the work or not. So, if you leave one, THANKS! And if not, I hope you found at least a little something to brighten your day, and thanks for taking the time to read.

When Sadie got up from end of the chaise lounge and walked to the gate, Sara looked up from the book she had been pretending to read for the last two hours. She should have known who it would be. She should have known it wouldn't be him.

She turned back to the book as soon as the dog recognized the intruder to her silence. She hoped her disappointment wasn't too obvious she quietly said, "You heard?"

He bent down to greet the happy retriever as he shrugged and answered, "Who hasn't?" Standing up, he reached for the patio door and slipped into the house, only to come right back out carrying a couple of beers. He held one out for her. "Beer?"

She reached over to the table beside her and picked up the bottle which was already there. "I helped myself."

Shrugging again, he flopped down into the lounge chair beside her and replied, "That's what they're there for." He flipped off the cap by tapping it on the arm of the chair, and then took a long pull off of the cold drink. "Man… It's already gettin' hot out here." He rolled the bottle over his forehead briefly before settling in to the chair and beginning to pet the loyal creature sitting beside him on the patio.

They were silent for a little while longer as she continued to use the book as a dodge. Eventually the empty space between them became too much for her and she asked the question, even though she already knew the answer. "Who told you?"

They both replied, at the same time, "Brass."

She rolled her eyes, dropped the book into her lap and shook her head. "I should've known."

"Yeah, well… I guess he figured that you'd be hidin' out over here."

"I am not hiding out!" She tried her best to keep the indignity firmly fixed in her expression, but the moment he turned his face to look at her, it fell away. "I just…didn't want…to go home…yet."

"You don't owe me anything, Sara… I'm just glad you feel comfortable enough to come here." He took another long draw on the bottle and then stared at it for a few moments, watching the sweat run down the outside of the glass. "Anyway, Jim had too much on his plate, so he gave me the heads up… Just in case."

She released a heavy sigh, and he knew she was getting ready to talk, so he simply waited it out. He was starting to get pretty good at this talking thing.

"I just… I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing about this. How I'm supposed to feel… Where I'm supposed to be…" He looked over to see that she had her eyes squeezed tightly shut, and he knew she was fighting some serious demons behind those lids.

"It's not about that, Sara… It's about what you really feel. Don't try and tailor yourself to some 'supposed to be.'" He reached over and put his hand on her forearm to emphasize his next words. "We both know how that turns out, and I don't want to see either of us in that place again." When she nodded her understanding, he simply asked, "How do you feel, now that you know?"

"I wish I'd never found out." Her voice was so timid, that he almost didn't recognize it. That changed when she threw her head back into the lounge and groaned, just before she launched into the rant he'd been waiting for.

"It was better when I was just suffering in silence, never really knowing about their relationship, never knowing how much she meant, never knowing that they were really together, never hearing all the gory fucking details from Catherine!"

That was one he couldn't let slide. "Whoa there… Back up a step. Catherine? Really? Since when does Grissom tell her squat? You know she's just talkin' out her ass on that one; piecing crap together, with gossip and assumptions." He waited until she looked away to know that she had really heard him and then asked, "What did Grissom say?"

She came back with one of those sideways death glares and snidely remarked, "It's Grissom… Since when does he actually say anything?" Nick could feel the heat of her glare, but it was nothing compared to the searing flames in her words.

He shook his head and chuckled, "Man… I'm glad I'm not you."

"Just what does that mean?" She turned in the lounge until her feet were planted on the ground with her question.

"It means…" He had been holding back his frustration with their bizarre relationship for months, so he was not about to waste the best opportunity he'd ever been given to lay it all out on the line. "You're both too damn pig-headed, stubborn and unwilling to show your cards to ever actually have a real conversation. You both'd rather suffer in silence than to deal with the truth, if you think it might get a little messy. Quit bein' afraid and just do it! Ask the man what he feels. Tell him how you feel. Just stop walkin' around on egg shells and expectin' the other one to make the first move." He could see her shock at his outburst, but he knew it had to be said.

Sara fell back into the chair with a flop, and he rubbed Sadie's ear to keep her calm as he waited for her response. After a few more moments she asked, "How long have you been holding that back?"

He chuffed at her question and frankly answered, "Too long…obviously."

They sat on the patio for a while, staring off into space, warming their bodies in the rising sun. For all outward appearances, it was quiet, but inside they were each waging battles with the information they possessed. Nick knew that she was trying to reconcile what he said to what she felt, and he was simply hoping that he hadn't crossed a line in their friendship.

He felt a strange responsibility to Sara, but also to the couple, as one of the few people aware of their situation. She had never come right out and told him about her relationship with Grissom, instead they seemed to just understand what the other was going through. From their conversations, they had each figured things out on their own. While he and Sara had always shared a special bond, this was something else entirely; their common understanding.

That commonality became even clearer when their patio solstice was disturbed as Sadie jumped up with the entrance of another. "Is that one for me?" Nick looked up over the back of the lounge chair with one eye open to find a smiling face waiting to greet him. He smiled back and she bent down to kiss him.

When she rose up from their little display of affection, he answered, "Ah, it might be a little warm now…" He grabbed for the unopened beer and was about to get up. "Have a seat and I'l-"

"Nah… I'm just kidding." She smiled at their guest and greeted her before crouching down to pet the dog, "Hey, Sara. Rough night, huh?" Sara's only answer was to shyly smile. "You two have fun… I've gotta go in early tonight, so…" She got up from her crouch and then leaned over to kiss Nick's forehead before she finished, "I'm just gonna go to bed. See ya later." She winked at Nick, waved and walked back into the house with Sadie in tow.

Sara turned back to the house and called, "'Night, Mandy… I'm almost done with him." She faced Nick, winced and said, "I hope I didn't get you into trouble."

Nick looked into the house and shrugged, "No way… She's just been pulling a bunch of OT since Jacqui left." He forced a puff of air through his nose in a snort and said, "She even fell asleep at the movies the other night."

"How's the radar looking these days?"

He immediately shook off her concern about the possible discovery of their situations. "Nobody's even got a clue. Greg's still too frustrated with that lawsuit crap, Warrick's got his head buried in his own drama, the lab rats are too busy scramblin' around for position and Catherine… Well, Cath's got her own drama to contend with." He gave her a careful wink and finished with, "Besides, she has way too much fun flying off the handle with wild gossip to see what's really goin' on. I think we're all still in the clear."

Sara shook her head and replied, "The way she was going on the other day I thought for sure she was nailing me to the wall."

"Nah… There's no way she would've done that on purpose. Even Catherine isn't that big of a bitch." His next wink made Sara blush a little, because he knew that she thought differently, but that was in the past. He knew enough about Catherine to know that she wouldn't intentionally try to hurt anyone like that. "Anyway, you don't think if she knew, she wouldn't be making Grissom's life a living hell? You'd just be small potatoes in that game."

Sara nodded her head and slid back to the end of the lounge. "You're probably right." She slowly rose to her feet. "Well, I should get going."

Nick stood up as well. "Why don't you just chill out for a little while and I'll get us someth-"

"Don't worry…I walked over. I'll be fine." She reached out to hold his arm and then leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Thanks, but I have some things to work out before I go home. So…I'll just take another walk."

He walked with her to the gate. "If you need anything… You know where to find me."

"Yeah, I know…" She started to walk down the path away from the backyard when she stopped and softly called back, "Thanks…for not letting me stay in silence."