Not So Pure

Summary: Seamus and Dean are intent on having fun. When the guys are telling secrets they force Ron into spilling a secret about himself that no one ever knew. Afterwards Ron tried to tell his friends and family, and lets it slip that he has another secret.

Disclaimer: Set in 6th year, as usual, nothing pertaining to 5th year happens in this.

"Okay, okay!" exclaimed Seamus, laughing wildly, "Dean…your turn. What's your deepest secret that I probably already know?"

"No!" Ron exclaimed, almost knocking over his Firewhisky bottle that had been untouched. He and Harry wanted to make sure they said nothing they would regret. "It has to be something NO ONE knows."

"Um…" said Dean, thinking, "Okay none of these leave the room though."

They all agreed.

"So…" prompted Neville.

"I…" Dean paused and then said, "Once, when I was perfectly sober, have made out with a guy."

Seamus's jaw dropped.

"I'm straight, though," Dean assured everyone, "It just was a heat of the moment thing."

"What was it like?" Ron suddenly asked, tilting his head to one side at Dean.

"Why would you want to know?" snapped Harry, he seemed very touchy all of a sudden but no one seemed to notice other than Ron who almost winced at the tone of Harry's voice..

"I'm just curious," murmured Ron, "It's probably different than kissing a girl." He was clutching his Firewhisky bottle in both hands now.

"It is," agreed Dean, "Even though I wanted to puke afterwards it was…fine. I mean with girls you have to be gentle but with guys its…like…fierce."

"Okay off the topic," Harry said quickly, looking rather annoyed. Ron looked over at him through his piercing blue eyes questioningly.

"Why so touchy, Harry?" demanded Seamus, smirking, "Have a problem with gays?"

"It just seems so…" said Harry, "I don't know. I may hate the Dursley's but when it comes to being normal I just consider being gay…abnormal."

"I wouldn't think you would be that judgmental," said Ron, staring at the floor, his new shoulder-length fiery red hair falling in front of his face, "Especially when it comes to being abnormal."

Harry shrugged and suddenly felt bad, though he didn't know why.

"Okay I choose Ron," said Dean randomly, "You next."

"There's nothing that Harry doesn't know," said Ron quickly, looking up, "I can't think of anything to say."

"Just think of something," groaned Seamus.

"Well there's one thing no one knows except the Twins," said Ron slowly, each word was quieter than the first, "And it surprised me that they were okay with it."

Harry was surprised that the bottle in Ron's hands hadn't shattered. He was nervous. He was even shaking. Harry felt bad. He put a hand on Ron's back and said,

"You don't have to tell anyone." And even though he spoke the words he knew it would kill him if he didn't find out what Ron was almost having a breakdown about.

"Yes he does!" Dean and Seamus shouted.

Ron shook his head. He was worried. He knew that the moment he told them his life at Hogwarts would change for the worst. He was especially worried about what Harry would do if he found out.

"Come on, Ron," said Neville quietly, "It can't be worse than any of our secrets."

"It is," Ron said, looking up. He sat up straight. Harry's hand fell from Ron's back.

"Tell us," begged Seamus, almost puking from curiosity.

"Give me a minute to think about this," said Ron slowly.

He knew that getting it out now would be a relief from hiding it all this time since he's figured it out. He thought about the Twins response. How they said they had noticed but it had never really clicked and how it really didn't matter to them. He was their brother and they accepted him no matter what.

This had just been that summer.

"Alright," he said with a sigh, closing his eyes tightly, then he opened them and as the words spilled out of his mouth he wished he could stop time…or crawl under a rock.

"I'm gay."

Silence.

Seamus stared at him appraisingly. Dean almost looked too knowing for Ron to feel any more comfortable. Neville looked a tiny bit shocked. Ron couldn't even bring himself to look at Harry.

"Like…seriously?" asked Seamus finally, his Irish accent standing out more than earlier for some odd reason.

Ron bit down hard on his bottom lip and nodded.

Harry stood. All eyes except Ron's were on him. Ron closed his eyes. He heard the dorm door open and shut slowly.

"Ron," said Dean a little too softly for a guy.

Ron's eyes opened.

"I can't believe I just said that," he said. His stomach clenched and he was worried he was about to puke.

"Well isn't it a tad bit of a relief to get it out?" Neville asked, inching forward.

"What's it like?" Seamus asked suddenly, as though inquiring what it was like to have some sort of disease.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked, still worried that he was going to puke, his stomach continued to tighten every time he opened his mouth..

"I don't know," responded Seamus, his face contorted into confusion.

"Well if you're wondering what its like as in…the way I think…" Ron said, "Being gay is the same thing as, like, feminism. I'm just attracted towards guys but its not like every time I see a guy I automatically want to sleep with him or something...like most people would think." He added as an afterthought.

"Do you have a girl…boyfriend?" Neville asked him quietly, correcting himself quickly, Ron turned bright red, then hesitated and replied with,

"No."

"Have you kissed a guy?" Seamus asked, crawling forwards towards Ron as Dean and Neville had. Ron suddenly felt the relief he had wished he felt before telling them this.

"No," he said slowly, "I only figured out I was this summer."

"How did you know?" asked Dean, fascinated.

"I guess…I wasn't really interested in talking about girls," responded Ron thoughtfully, "And…okay don't get freaked out…"

"I'm too drunk to care about anything right now," said Seamus with a laugh, "Just drunk enough, anyway."

"And when we would all change in here and stuff," Ron said slowly, "I just…caught myself staring…and stuff…"

"That's flattering," said Dean, "So…what do you think?" he smirked.

"What do you mean?" Ron asked, feeling himself go red.

"Am I hot?" replied Dean, laughing.

If possible, Ron turned a darker shade of red. Seamus and Dean burst out laughing and Neville managed a light chuckle.

The guys had a long few hours of making jokes, Seamus and Dean made fun of Ron but it was in a caring way. Ron had just told them something no one else had known and they thought they shouldn't take advantage of it. Ron felt very relieved that they all hadn't done what Harry had done.

When they finally made it to bed, Harry walked in.

Ron was awake but faking sleep. He heard Harry open his trunk and pull out pajamas and start to change. His heart was pounding. Finally he sat up when he heard Harry crawl into bed.

"Do you hate me now?" Ron asked quietly, his voice quivering with nerves.

Harry didn't look at him but he stopped moving, then he slowly laid down and with a flick of his wand, the light went out.

Ron bit his lip ad laid down. Then he heard Harry turn towards him and sit up. Ron sat up as well.

"No," Harry said quietly, "I just felt bad. I had just talked down about…gay people…and then you said that. I couldn't stand wondering how you felt and how hard it must've been to say that. And I appreciate the fact that you could bring yourself to say something like that right after what I had said."

"Oh," muttered Ron, "Well…okay."

There was a long pause. Then Harry asked softly,

"I am kind of shocked though…I always thought you liked Hermione. We all did."

"That's what the twins said," Ron said with a laugh, "I thought I liked her as well…but…then I figured out I didn't like her, I just thought I did because everyone else thought I did."

"Are you going to tell her?"

"That I'm gay?"

"Yeah."

"Um…I guess. Maybe on Christmas break in a few days. That's when I was going to tell my parents. Fred and George are going to help me. I mean…not every parent wants to hear that their son is gay."

"Well if you tell Hermione, me and her can be there to support you as well. If we're there maybe your parents won't…"

Ron stared at the bed covers and nodded.

"I can help you tell her," offered Harry, and he saw Ron nod again.

"Well I'm tired," said Ron quietly, laying down slowly, "Goodnight."

"'Night, Ron."

"I can't do this," muttered Ron, looking over at the table where Hermione was waiting for them that morning, "I can't…"

"I told her you have something important to tell her," said Harry, patting Ron on the shoulder, "She won't judge you, Ron. It's Hermione. You'd think if she was a judging person she would be two other guys best friends."

Ron nodes slowly. He got that 'I'm going to puke' feeling again. He and Harry made their way over to Hermione. The common room was empty except for a few people that would wander out, making their way to breakfast.

"Are you alright Ron?" Hermione asked, and when he nodded and sat down she asked, "What did you need to talk about?"

Ron took a deep breath and tried to say something but he couldn't find the words.

"It's really difficult for him to tell you something like this," said Harry, trying to buy time so Ron could calm down, "He told me, Dean, Seamus, and Neville last night and I can tell you that it had to take him a lot of confidence. The only other people that know besides me and those guys are the twins. So we thought it would be fair for you to know, and also so we can support him when he tells his parents."

Hermione looked confused and slightly panicked.

"What is it?" she asked, looking over at Ron who was staring at the table, willing himself to not get up and run away.

"I…" he said quietly, "I…can't do this." He said.

"I'm not going to tell her for you, Ron," said Harry sternly, "You have to tell your parents, too."

"Ron you can tell me anything," Hermione said gently, taking one of his hands, "You know that."

"You don't get it," said Ron, "It's really confusing for me. Not only that…there's another part to this that you don't even get."

"Tell me, Ron," begged Hermione.

There was a long pause. A large group of giggling girls walked out of the common room.

"Okay…" Ron finally murmured, "I'm gay."

He didn't look up to see Hermione's face. He couldn't bring himself to do it.

"Okay," said Hermione simply.

"Okay?" Harry repeated.

Hermione ignored him. To Ron she said,

"Ron what did you expect me to do? Tell you not to be?"

Ron looked up.

"That's what I expected Harry to say," he said, "I expected you to…I don't even know."

"Wait what's the other part?" Harry asked suddenly, "You said there's a whole other part."

"That I cannot tell anyone," Ron responded, "I know for a fact you would probably murder me. Then dig me up and kill me again. The you would chop me up into little pieces and throw them into the ocean. And then you would stitch me back together, bring me to life, and throw me under the Whomping Willow."

Hermione giggled, pulling her hands away from Ron. Harry rolled his eyes and figured not to press the topic.

They sat for a while, talking, trying to make Ron feel better. By the time they succeeded, they went to their first class of the day. Double Potions with the Slytherins.

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