Lighting trees in darkness
Finding new ways from the old
And making sense of history
And drawing warmth out of the cold
Snow is falling again, but inside the cabin is cozy and warm. Holly and Celery are snuggled together on the couch in front of the TV wearing matching Maple Leafs jerseys, drinking beer, and intermittently yelling at the game. Oliver is cooking something that smells delicious, and whistling tunelessly to himself something that sounds alarmingly like it could be Wrecking Ball, Gail decides. She is curled up under a down quilt in a lounge chair next to the woodstove pretending to be asleep, with just the tip of her nose sticking out. She watches them all covertly. So, this is what a family is supposed to feel like, she thinks contentedly, and snuggles deeper into her nest.
Work on the cabin has been going well, so Oliver invited her, and Holly to join them for the only holiday they were going to get this season. Sure, they would all be working on Christmas, and New Years Eve, and New Years Day too, but they did have a few days off before hand. Gail was happy for the invitation, not only because she loves Oliver, but because it allows her to make a fast escape before her mother started making holiday plans for her. Oops, she thinks, and my phone gets lousy reception up here too, damn it!
Celery and Holly spring from the couch, cheering wildly as the Leafs score a final goal in the third period, winning the game. Oliver appears behind them, smiling and wiping his hands on his apron.
"Hey," He says, bouncing on his toes, "I know what we need. Do you know what we need? We need a tree! Tonight is the Winter Solstice, don't you know. See, I remembered!" He is definitely pleased with himself.
"Oh Ollie Bear! That's so sweet!" Celery leans over the couch and kisses him.
Ollie-Bear? That's disgusting! Gail thinks to herself, rolling her eyes and groaning.
"Well look at who is finally awake!" Holly smiles at her.
"I've been awake for a while." Gail protests, "Who could sleep with all that noise the two of you were making? Hockey." she grumbles
Holly arches her eyebrows and laughs. Celery looks just as amused.
"What." Gail shoots them an icy look.
"Ok, ok, so let' s all bundle up and meet at the car in about ten" Oliver says, rubbing his hands together.
Yup, definitely pleased with himself, Gail decides.
"That's a great idea! Well you guys go, have fun! I'll be right here in front of the fire when you get back!" Gail says in an overly cheerful voice, accompanied by a giant fake smile.
"Not so fast!" Holly leans over and shakes Gail by the knee, "Helping us get a tree won't kill you. And besides, you might just have some fun!"
Gail groans and rolls her eyes, "Yeah right. And I remember how the last time you said that worked out for me." She complains, blushing in spite of herself at the memory. Ugh. Sports. And now this.
Holly laughs and tugs at Gail's quilt. "Hurry up! If you don't come, you will never find out what little surprise I have planned for you later." Holly smirks, and sashays off to the bathroom to put on warmer clothes.
"You have a surprise for me?" Gail asks hopefully, and follows her into the next room.
"Maybe…" Holly hands her a pair of longjohns, "Now bundle up! I wouldn't want you to freeze to death now, would I?"
Gail doesn't know how she does it, but Holly always gets her to do whatever Holly wants. She might complain loudly, but she always finds herself compliantly engaging in activities she would never in a million years have done on her own. And yes, most of the time, though she hates to admit it, it's fun.
A short ride later they are standing in a field on the other side of the mountain, in what looks to be an abandoned Christmas tree farm. Celery is rummaging in her bag and pulls out a bundle of dried herbs. She lights it on fire and makes her way clockwise around a small, but perfect tree while waiving it in the air. The smoke smells vaguely like pot. Gail hopes it's not illegal.
"Can we just hurry up?" She whines, "Celery, what are you doing?"
"I'm glad you asked, Gail." Celery smiles at her, and she can't help but smile back. "I am purifying this tree we are about to sacrifice for our celebration with sage to appease its spirit."
"Ok, but can we go any faster?" Gail fidgets. She can only think that any minute now somebody is going to come along and bust them. Wouldn't THAT make a stellar headline – A scientist with the Toronto Police force, Two Toronto Police officers, and a witch, arrested for stealing a Christmas Tree and performing some weird Satanic rite… Just wait until they discover whose daughter she is…
"Gail, I don't know what you're thinking, but I know that look." Holly says, coming up behind to wrap her arms around Gail's waist. "Relax. There is no one here but us."
Gail sighs and leans into her warmth.
"Ok, are we ready?" Oliver says, starting the chainsaw.
"Me! Me! Me!" Gail cries, reaching for it with both hands, a wild look of glee written all over her face.
Oliver chuckles, the thought of Gail with a chainsaw is both amusing and terrifying at the same time. "Ok, ok!" He concedes, handing it to her. Holly gives Gail's middle a squeeze and lets go.
"Wait!" Celery commands. She turns and waves the smoking sage bundle over Gail, and Holly. Gail breathes in the slightly acrid, but not unpleasant smoke, and is surprised to discover it has a somewhat calming effect on her.
"All of us need to be touching the tree while Gail carefully cuts it as close to the ground as she can." Celery continues, "As she cuts it down, everyone needs to make a wish for what you want to grow in your life as the days get longer. You too Gail!" She smiles again.
"Ok, are we ready?" Oliver says again, and takes Celery's hand. "Come on Gail, be careful! I like my toes just the way they are!"
Gail kneels down on the ground with the chainsaw, the others standing behind her grasping branches of the tree. She looks at the ground and can't think of anything to wish for.
"Come on Peck! What are you waiting for?" Oliver asks impatiently.
She decides right then. All she wants is to be able to feel as happy, and right with the world, as she does right now. The Chainsaw slices smoothly through the bottom of the trunk. Everybody cheers.
The ride back up the mountain is quiet. Gail is tucked under Holly's arm in the backseat, with Oliver driving and Celery gazing silently out at the snow. When they arrived back at the cabin, they quickly secure the tree on the deck. Later, they will decorate it with strings of popcorn and cranberries, and candles. After dinner, Celery sits them down at the table and has them all draw a Tarot card for the new year - Holly gets the Queen of Cups, Oliver gets The Magician, Celery gets The Eight of Wands, and Gail gets the World.
Celery clears her throat and says, "A really great Yule tradition from the British Isles is to have a Brag on the longest night of the year."
Holly is leaning on her hands, elbows on the table, looking intrigued. "How does that work? She inquires.
"This is the one night of the year that you can brag about anything you want, big or small, without making the Gods angry." Celery says, " In ancient times it was also a way to spend the long Solstice night telling stories about ourselves and drinking. So, why don't we all go around the table and boast about something. As each person finishes, we will all raise a glass to toast their story and drinks to their health. "
"That sounds really interesting." Holly says, "Why don't you start."
"Ok." Celery starts, "This year I made the best cupcakes ever! I know it doesn't sound like much, but my Guinness Chocolate cupcakes with peanutbutter frosting and bourbon cream filling kicked some ass at the annual Wiccan Tea, let me tell you! Even the lady from The Witches Voice said so, and she can bake! So, raise a glass to me and my cupcakes!"
They all toast and drink. As Oliver refills their glasses, Gail decides that bragging and drinking alcohol is the best holiday tradition, ever!
Holly goes next, "I single handedly compiled the forensic evidence that solved two murder cases and lead the detectives to go back and solve four cold cases, and then I ruled when I went to court! Because I'm that good! And," Holly continues with a twinkle in her eye, "just two weeks ago, I totally drank Gail here under the table!"
"That wasn't fair! You totally cheated!" Gail whines. "I spent my day chasing criminals, I didn't even get lunch, so when we started playing darts and shots, what did you think was going to happen?"
"And yet…" Holly smirks, everyone laughs and drinks, even Gail.
"Ok, well I guess it's me." Oliver starts, "Where to begin… where to begin… because I'm just so fabulous, but seriously, I'm an awesome father! I know you all wish that your Dads were as awesome as me. I kinda miss my kids though. Zoe is going to have them through New Year's, but this is great! And my kids, my kids are teenagers, and they're still great! So, here's to my awesomeness!"
They all drink a toast again.
"I am the ruler of the universe!" Gail proclaims standing up, glass in hand, "And I totally annihilated Dov in HALO before we left!" She smirks at the memory, "I mean, seriously, I just kick ass!"
"Yes, yes you do!" Oliver smiles back at her.
After Oliver and Celery say goodnight, Holly makes their bed on the floor by the woodstove. She turns to Gail and said, "Come here, I have something to show you."
They sit cross-legged on the blankets, knees touching.
"Remember how I said I might have a surprise for you?"
"Uh huh." Gail nods, Holly looks so serious all of a sudden, she wonders what it might be.
Holly reaches inside her shirt and pulls out a necklace, the one she always wears. "My Grandmother gave this to me when I graduated from Medical School," Holly begins, "She told me that Emeralds are the heart stone, and so, she wanted me to have this because she knew how hard life could be, and she wanted me to always remember that I was loved."
Gail is silent, but her heart is pounding, she thinks if Holly listened carefully she could probably hear it beating too. The charm is gold with one large emerald cabochon at the center, and one tiny teardrop pearl.
Holly reaches back for the clasp. She holds it out slowly and then secures the chain around Gail's neck. Gail is so overwhelmed she tries not to think too hard about what this means. She knows that she doesn't want to run like she might have in the past. She thinks she might cry. She looks at her hands resting softly on Holly's ankles. Holly cups Gail's face in her hands, and Gail looks up into Holly's liquid brown eyes.
"I always want you to know that there is someone in the world who loves you for exactly who you are! And I also want you to remember to love yourself, because, even though you try very hard to hide it, you are kind, and generous, and funny, and someone who deserves all of the love in the world!" Holly kisses her, and Gail tries to believe. She wants to believe. Oh, fuck it! She lets herself believe in that moment that it just might be true. Maybe there is hope for her after all, and sometimes, maybe sometimes wishes do come true. Normally she would dismiss these thoughts and the warm feelings that are threatening to overtake her as incredibly sappy, but maybe, as Celery told them earlier, tonight is special and anything can happen. So tonight, she decides to just go with it and glow.