Marked
"We've each left our mark on the other.", was what Cutler Beckett had unwillingly said about Jack Sparrow to Will the other day. "I wonder what mark he left on you", Will had replied, with an almost unnoticeable little smile. What did that sign of misplaced amusement imply? The man couldn't possibly guess what Beckett had referred to. Unless of course he had a mind he couldn't get a grip on, too.
That was the signal for his thoughts to run off once more. As soon he would have Jack Sparrow signing for a life as a privateer he would most certainly be promoted as Governor and have all authority in these Caribbean waters and beyond, yes, but that foresight actually wasn't what drove him. There wasn't a single person who knew the real reason why he was so eager –obsessed even- to go after that lowlife of a pirate. Or it would be Jack Sparrow himself. And, although Beckett tend to deny the fact, perhaps James Norrington could guess the reason too- but only because they both shared that very reason, and therefor it would be more easy for him to understand and to not counter it in pure disgust. Disgust, oh yes, the disgust… do not let your thoughts wander off, nor let memory come in, Cassie… Cassie? No never that again… Cutler Beckett hanged his shoulders, wrenching his hands in his womb. No matter how small he tried to make himself. The ghosts of his past never stopped hunting him.
21 years ago
Aboard the Lady Henrietta
Twelve year old Cutler for the first time in his life heard the sound of canon fire, but actually there wasn't anything exciting about it. It became louder astonishingly quick and soon drowned out the sound of the panicking passengers. His mother though remained rather calm and unlike the few other women she didn't just sit down, weep and dramatically pull her hair. To be true, her behaviour was a little strange: she threw all their belongings out of their little travelling chest without even caring for wrinkles or dirt. She was looking for what appeared to be a darkish blue dress and a brown, curly wig. "Put these on", she said to him, while above them the noises of screaming, hurt men died down. "Quick!" She started to undress him rapidly. "But mom, I'm a boy! I'll look just like a girl!", he protested. Heavy footsteps along with joyous laughter neared their cabin. Sounds of heartbreaking protests, smothered in rattling, then followed by more outrageous laughter. His mother arranged some last curls and kissed him: "That's exactly what I'm counting on…. Cassie." While saying the door was opened by a dreadful, big man who seemed to be surprised: "Well, well, well… look at these two fine ladies!"
Aboard the Ravening Beauty
Afterwards it was hard to believe that no one aboard the crowded ship noticed that little Cassie wasn't really a girl. As his mother had expected, the pirates spared the young 'girl's' life. Not like his mother, who soon after she had been made the subject to release any sexual frustration from most of the men, died during one of these not so tender activities.
However cruel hearted, the men somehow cared for the girl, since they each had one or two or who knows even three daughters that age of their own in several ports. All Cutler had to do was to make sure he didn't get in their way and most important- didn't draw their attention.
Which, in this men's world, was easier said than done. There wasn't much privacy for a girl –or better, a boy pretending to be a girl- aboard the Ravening Beauty and that's why a boatswain named "Tricky Dick" felt he should be the one to raise and protect this quiet, shy girl. Trick offered her a place in his personal quarter. Not without any benefit for him, as it appeared, it wasn't his parental heart that was moved. In fact it was something more below that was stirred by the sight of the frail child.
Cutler would never forget the night that Trick came to his bed and gently kissed him for the first time, saying he was such a special girl. Trick asked him to caress him back, for he ought to be thanked for his voluntary maintenance. One of the first memories Cutler had of Trick was him lying close next to him on the small mattress, his eyes shut, suddenly shivering and then -while softly moaning- spraying some kind of white jelly on his working hands. When he asked him what it was, Trick answered: "Consider that a love potion one can never get enough off."
And that was exactly what Cutler kept in mind later, every time when Trick made him suck him off: "Yeaaaah Cassie, that's it. Go on, no one can do it like you, Cassie." The images were burnt onto his retina. His mouth sliding up and down. His hands massaging Trick's balls. Almost choking by Trick's thickened flesh stuck as deep as possible in his throat. Hearing Trick's lascivious heavy breathing and the final bestial moan. Swallowing the salty, hot sperm. Love potion, oh no, never enough.
Strangest thing was that Trick didn't come on to him any other way. Perhaps deep down he knew his Cassie actually wasn't a girl, Cutler wasn't sure. He wasn't sure about anything anymore. Not even about whether to keep his gender a secret or not. But he knew Trick's reaction would be disastrous if it ever became known his bedfellow was a boy, so he kept his mouth.
These were lonely times. He had absolutely no one to turn to. There were moments he caught himself actually longing for Tricks' caresses for he felt like the loneliest person in the entire universe and needed at least some kind of consolation. He hated himself because of it.
Out of fear for the discovery of his true gender he tried to stay away from the other pirates as far as possible and so he was happy to be given the task of cleaning the decks below.
One day
ziet Jack met vrouw
Wordt verkracht door Trick
-ziet Jack met James; teder
Wil zelf met Jack, wordt afgewezen (mark toegebracht bij Jack; tanden?)
Jack brengt m in veiligheid (nl baardgroei, etc)
Mark van Bennet is ; gebroken hart. Reden tot jacht: verbittering, Jack had m kunnen helen.