STORY: Frozen

Type: AU, Chaptered

Couple: Zack/Tifa

Category: Romance/Angst

Rating: PG-13, may eventually be R

Author's Note: My first fan fiction ever. I appreciate reviews. Words in italics are a flashback of some sort. There is quite a bit of flashback material in this chapter.

How you feelin'?

The day has had its way with both of us

And no, I've gone out of my way

But I'm not free

From this pain I'm reeling

I was a fool to think some day you would come around

But no, no, no I'm not thinking that way

'Cause now I see

You are not what you seem

You are a mystery to me

Sometimes I just wanna scream

-"Rag Doll" Maroon-5

A woman in her early twenties' emerged from the Midgar Psychologist's Office and pulled her brown coat closer to her face. She stood under the awning of the building and stared at the rain pouring quite steadily around her. A shiver ran through her spine before she left the safety of the awning and stepped into the grey.

Her session with Dr. Bane had not gone as successfully as she would have hoped it would have gone. As she described how she had been doing for the past two weeks, a frown had settled onto the aging psychologist's face.

"Tifa," he started. "You are lying." He stated bluntly.

She was taken aback that the doctor had caught on so fast. "No, I'm not, doctor. I really have been progressing. I don't think I need help from you or the medicine any longer. Please, believe me. I have been doing so much better…"

He raised an eyebrow and wrote something down on his paper. "You are pleading. I know you by now, Ms. Lockheart. Apparently you have been doing even worse. The last time I saw you – two weeks ago, to be exact – you said the same exact thing. So that is why I believe you should continue to see me and take the pills that I have prescribed you. To state it truthfully, Ms. Lockheart, you are pretty much in the same position as you were when I first took you in."

Her heart sunk. She truly had believed that Dr. Bane would believe her somewhat extravagant lie.

Dr. Bane pushed his glasses up with his index finger then shot a concerned glance at his patient. "Tifa, I am not trying to torture you. This is simply for your own good."

If only she could believe that.

Turning into an alleyway to take the long way to her house, Tifa began to think. It had been eight months since he had left her, and six and a half months since she had began to see Dr. Bane. The visits seemed so meaningless at first to her, but eventually the realization dawned on her that she really did need help. Her heart had been badly broken, and if she did not have someone to help her, she would do something drastic and incredibly dumb. Friends of Tifa realized this long before she did.

They had tried to help her at first, naturally. But her shell was impenetrable. She knew; oh, how she knew. None of them could understand the pain she was experiencing. None of her friends had had their heart shattered into so many little pieces…none of them had ever cried themselves to sleep every night, none of them had ever yearned to hold someone in their arms so badly yet they couldn't. No, none of them understood her anguish.

Eventually they realized this too, inscribing Tifa's name onto a sing-up sheet for Dr. Bane. She had refused this, lashing out violently at a friend who told her they had signed her up for help. What could some stranger do for me? Tifa thought. They most likely had never even experienced half of what Tifa had.

Barret crossed the room to be face-to-face with Tifa. He held a look of sadness at her as he spoke.

"Tif, I signed you up for a psychologist. He's gonna help you."

She scoffed and changed the channel to the tiny television set. A woman was crying profusely into a man's shoulder. She scoffed again.

"I don't need some random man with a stuffy office to help me. I am fine. Don't you see me? Look, I'm perfect and good." Tifa looked up at her friend. "Barret, I really appreciate your concern, but I don't need it." She returned to watching the T.V. with a look of disgust on her face.

Barret ignored her last comment and sat down next to her. He pulled a wrinkled sheet of paper out of his pocket and handed it to her. Tifa's eyes lingered on it for a moment before Barret urged her quietly to look at it. She hesitated, but did as she was asked.

The note seemed to be a response to a previous one; it stated that Dr. Bane would be pleased to see Tifa Lockheart, and he guaranteed that he would try his best to help Tifa recover from her life altering break-up. It went on to talk about the first meeting, and other things related to that. At the end, it thanked Barret for informing the doctor of "such a troubled soul".

Tifa fell silent. Why did this bring tears to her eyes? Perhaps it was the last comment about her being such a troubled soul. That hurt.

"Barret…?" Tifa faced her entire body away from Barret as insurance that he would not see the tears threatening to spill out of her eyes at any second. A worried look crossed Barret's face. He softly touched Tifa's shoulder, as if he was afraid he would break her if he was to touch her too abruptly. But as his hand rested on her shoulder, Tifa swung her arm to push him off.

"Tifa!" Barret jumped off of the tattered couch and blocked her sudden attack. Tears streamed uncontrollably down Tifa's face as she stood up just as suddenly as Barret and began to hit him, trying to hurt him, trying to convey the pain she was feeling over to Barret through her fists. But his skin was just too tough. Her flying arms slowed down, eventually coming to a stop till Tifa began to sob quietly into Barret's chest. His arms wrapped around her instinctively.

Tifa's sobs did not stop as she sagged into the comfort of her friend's arms. It was nothing like being in his arms, but Barret was here, and he was like another father, so he would do…for now.

Tifa rummaged around her coat pockets until she found the key to her house. After twisting it inside the lock, she wordlessly made her way inside, pulling off her coat and throwing it carelessly on the couch, and then walked into her tiny kitchen.

She opened her refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of iced tea, then almost robotically pulled out a cup from her cabinet, pouring herself a glass. After a long swig of the tea, Tifa looked up at her window.

There she found a black cat sitting on her windowsill, staring at her with piercing blue eyes.

Those eyes…

The glass slipped from Tifa's hands and shattered all over the floor, several pieces cutting her severely across her lower legs. But she felt no pain. I'm already numb. She had said to Barret so many months ago. As much as Tifa wanted to, she could not tear her eyes away from that blue sea. It was so familiar…and it struck her heart so fiercely it was as if a knife had pierced her heart, she felt so incapacitated.

Perhaps Dr. Bane was right. She certainly was no better then when he had first broken her heart.

She sunk to the floor onto her knees, her eyes still locked on the cat. It was so painful…why didn't she turn her head away? The cat held the gaze along with Tifa, neither moving, neither opening their mouths. It puzzled Tifa why a cat would appear at her window – none had done so before – and it also puzzled her why it had to have such a familiar air to it.

Finally Tifa could look no longer. She broke the stare and cried, softly, soundlessly, painfully.

Tifa fell back onto her bed, laughing. He fell down wordlessly onto the spot next to her, embracing her with a light yet passionate kiss on the lips. When they parted, she looked up at him with sparkling eyes. She had never felt so complete, so happy, so in-sync with someone. It felt so right to kiss him, hold him, be held by him, or just do anything with him at all.

The relationship had been going on for a year by now. She spent every single moment she could with him. Each moment passing was pure bliss to her, since she was so very unaware that she was giving unrequited love out every day.

"I love you so much." She turned to lock lips with him once again, but he pushed her away with his right hand. Worry entered her heart. What could possibly make him not want to kiss her? And why exactly did he not respond? Tifa pulled his head towards her chest and let him lay there. He remained silent.

"Something's wrong, isn't it? Is it me?" Tifa stroked one of long spikes, hoping that it really wasn't her. He usually was one to say it straight-forward. But he said nothing, just removed himself from her grasp and got off of the bed. He dusted himself off and started to walk towards the bedroom door. Tifa panicked and jumped up off the bed also, blocking his path. He raised a golden eyebrow at her.

Tifa placed her palm on his chest. "Why are you just going to leave? You haven't even said anything." He sighed, and then sat back down onto the bed, a bored look in his eyes. "Look, Tifa," he stated with little interest in his voice. "We need to talk."

There was a soft 'mew' coming from somewhere on the floor next to Tifa. She wiped her eyes and looked down, the black cat now at her side. It rubbed against her leg, its rough fur bristling against the bare skin. It relaxed Tifa a bit. She gave a tiny smile and patted the top of the cat's head, earning another mew.

She sighed and got off of the floor. Perhaps she really did need a companion. A real one. As she poured the cat a small bowl of milk, she contemplated on what exactly she should do. There were plenty of available people who came in and out of the bar she worked at, but she never did feel quite comfortable associating with them. And though she did have a few friends here and there, they were not the type of companions that Tifa was looking for.

A long sigh fell from Tifa's lips as she placed the bowl on the floor. As she watched the cat lap up the milk greedily, fear built up inside of her. Was she going to be alone forever? It had been so many months now that she had been alone. And Tifa realized that this thought scared her; though she had never depended on other people to live, it now seemed almost necessary to have someone by her side. Not just a friend, but someone – a special someone. A man, a man who would stand by her side and support her decisions, comfort her when she was at rock bottom; love her for not only the physical features but also the personality. But Tifa just shakily laughed to herself and leaned against her counter. Who was she kidding? There was no way she would find a man that faithful or perfect.

She groaned and stared at the now empty bowl. Hopefully she could survive the task of being alone.