Peeta used to be in love. Well honestly, he still is, but that doesn't matter anymore. Katniss is gone, and has been gone for three years now. Peeta will never see her again. He'll never again be able to feel the soft touch of her skin on his. He had his goodbye, he held her hand and felt her grip loosen as she slowly drained of life. Three years later Peeta still hears the infinite beep of the heart monitor signaling Katniss was gone. The image of her eyes slowly closing as she mouthed "I love you" is forever burned into Peeta's brain. Three years later Peeta lies alone in his cold bed with no light except the moonlight shining through his window. He picks up his cell phone for the 23rd time tonight and stares at the photo of him and Katniss with wet and burning eyes. He switches to his contact book, finds Katniss' contact name, and presses call.
He listens to the phone ring seven slow times before it cuts out and the voicemail message begins to play.
"Hey you've reached Katniss Everdeen, I must be out."
Then there's the beep. Peeta hangs up just like every other time. He just craves any fiber of her, like her voice. He lets out a heavy sob and dials again. Seven rings, voicemail, beep, hangup.
Dial, seven rings, voicemail, beep, hangup.
Dial, seven rings, voice mail beep, hangup.
He repeats this pattern again except this time he surprises even himself when he doesn't hang up. He allows the beep to sound before he starts speaking with a shaking and quiet voice.
"Hey Katniss, it's me" He starts before letting out another loud sob. "I need you" he whispers, stopping again to collect himself. "I need you here with me. Nothing's right. There's no color, everything's gray. I don't find anything funny anymore. I think about you every second of every day. It hurts so much, everything hurts. My eyes, my body, my heart. I barely sleep, I always see you leaving me in my dreams, then there's more pain. I can't live without you. I can't do this anymore. I-" he tries to continue but is cut off by a mechanical female voice telling him he's reached the maximum length for a voicemail.
He screams as he throws his phone across the room into the wall, watching it smash. He gets up and runs into the bathroom. He stops in front of the mirror and stares at his pathetic reflextion. His hair is knotted and greasy from days without wash, his teeth are stained yellow from lack of brushing, and his eyes are surrounded by dark bags that hang low on his face. With one forceful blow he smashes the mirror to pieces, watching them fall around him and staring at the blood dripping from his hand. He rushes to open the medicine cabinet and grabs a bottle of sleeping pills. He stares at the capsule and breathes deeply before rethinking and throwing the pills to the ground. He heads to the kitchen with demanding steps. He grabs the biggest knife he owns and grabs the video camera he and Katniss used to love. He props it up on the kitchen table and hits record. He takes a step back and breathes deeply, looking into the camera and raising the knife to his throat.
"I can't do this anymore" he whispers quickly. "I need you Katniss. I need you so bad and i'm sorry I couldn't be strong for you, for us."
He takes another breath and shutters as a tear slides down his pale cheek.
"I love you" he whispers before sliding the blade across his throat, ending his life.