The silver moon slowly made it's way across the night sky, taking the darkness with it as the sun began to rise. The fog melted into the light of day and everything continued on. Another day would come and go, life would continue.
She sat. She waited. For how long would she wait, she did not know. She had professed her love, but found it came to late. Now she needed to heal and to suffer. Now she began to understand just the tip of what she had put him through all these years. He had had enough. He could no longer stand the sight of her or hear her lies anymore. She finally began to understand the depth of her actions and felt the consequences of her selfishness.
She stared deeply into the flames of the fireplace, her only companion for the last two days. Her tears dried, her head pounded from them. She had no more. Her eyes faded and lifeless. She now knew she had lost her world, without knowing how important he was.
A knock brought her back to the reality of the situation and stole her from her thoughts. Not turning from her stare at the flames of the fireplace, she spoke in a cracked voice "Yes." The word had come easily, practiced proper response.
"Miss Scarlett, its Mammy" an aged voice answered back "Let me in chile" she pleaded.
Scarlett's eyes never left the flames "It's not locked," she said in steady voice.
The door creaked slightly and she could hear the heavy steps of Mammy as she crossed the short space to stand at Scarlett's side "My Lamb" she almost cried "Ah's come as quick as these old legs could carry me to be by your side." She paused as she wiped a stray tear "Ah's so sorry to hear about Miss Melly."
Scarlett sat and still stared, but her mind began to focus on something else "Melly" her mind screamed, "I have been so upset about Rhett, Oh Melly". She then gathered her strength to stand "Yes Melly" she said in a soft voice "I must help take care of Melly." She walked past Mammy without looking at her and entered her closet.
Mammy stared at the young woman, now a shell "My poor Lamb" she whispered to herself as she joined Scarlett to help her dress.
Scarlett stood staring now at her clothing. Beautiful, colorful, outlandish dresses, but none appealed. She reached in the back and pulled forth the only dress she could stomach to wear "I will wear this" she said quietly "have a bath drawn and tell the children I would like to see them". She turned without looking at Mammy again and returned to her chair in front of the fireplace.
Mammy followed carrying the simple black dress "Miss Scarlett how did you know I brought the children with me?" she questioned.
"I didn't" she answered "I only hoped you had." Her vision again seemed lost in the dying embers and her eyes glassed over again.
Mammy stood for a moment watching her. She had seen that lost look before, so long ago, but it was worn by Scarlett's mother. She shook her head in pity for the young woman, so young to have her heart broken. Even though she did not know what was going on, she had been told that Mr. Rhett had left two nights prior, the night that Miss Melly passed, and that Scarlett had locked herself in her room since.
Mammy left to complete what was asked of her.
************************************************************************
Timid and quiet were not usually words associated with Scarlett Butler, but things have a funny way of changing over time.
Scarlett had managed to talk to the children quietly about the passing of their favorite Aunt. Pain was etched in both sets of eyes staring back at her. Her heart sunk as she thought of the loss this family had gone through in the last few months. First the baby, then Bonnie, then Melanie and now the only Father that her children had ever known was gone too. Scarlett braced herself as she pulled the two close to her. She felt the stiffness in Wade's posture and the tears from Ella as they soaked into her black mourning dress.
Mammy had entered the room again to announce that the carriage was waiting. Her old eyes could not believe the sight before them, Scarlett embracing her older children, trying to comfort them.
Wade broke the embrace first and left the room without a word. Ella held tightly to her Mother's hand as they left the room.
The bitter autumn wind cut Scarlett to the bone as she stood in the light rain watching Melanie laid to her final rest. At each side stood her living children, Wade stood stone face watching, Ella hid in the folds of her Mother's dress from the events. As the first shovel of dirt hit the coffin lid, Scarlett turned taking her children by the hand and led them away.
Before they left the cemetery, they stopped at another, much smaller, grave. Scarlett stared down at the stone that marked her daughter's resting place. Tears fell as her voice came shakily "Bonnie darling" she whispered.
Wade watched her. For the first time he knew he had seen true emotion coming from her. He turned from the sight of her tears, no longer able to handle the emotion building in his young chest. There, not twenty feet from them stood Rhett Butler. Wade met his stare and abruptly turned back to his Mother. At first he wanted nothing more than tell her quickly, but he stopped. In his heart he knew that Rhett was to blame for much of the pain that was enveloping her. He chose to say nothing.
He looked back, Rhett was gone and the sky began to clear.
************************************************************************
The days seemed to drag by as her pain turned to numbness. Scarlett sat in her office, slowly going over paperwork from the mill. At one time going over her accounts evoked excitement and challenge, but this was not the case anymore. Sighing she put the paperwork aside. She looked longingly at the cabinet across the room "a drink will calm you" her mind called "NO" she said rather loudly, her voice echoing in the quiet room "not again" she whispered to herself. Slowly she got up and left the room.
She climbed the stairs to her room, pausing on the step that had cost her so much. She shook the feeling and continued her trek to her room.
Once inside she collapsed onto her large, lonely bed. Her mind closed down this evening, as exhaustion took her body over and she fell asleep.
Scarlett awoke the next morning, feeling slightly better. The reality of her life had not escaped her, but she didn't have the strength to face her problems, so she set them aside "tomorrow" rang through her head as she rang for her maid to help dress her "I will think about it tomorrow."
Tomorrow came and went as with the next day and soon the days to weeks and the weeks to months. The holidays were approaching and Scarlett busied her mind with preparations for the Children's sakes. Decorations began to fill the dark house in an attempt to lighten the mood. Scarlett smiled more and spent more time with Wade & Ella. She was shocked at how much she had missed with them over the years, and swore to never fail them again.
Rhett crept back into her mind, but it was becoming less and less as she busied herself with other things. She planned on returning to Tara, her safety, and her strength when he came to mind. "Yes" she thought, "I will take the children and Mammy and return home to gather my strength." This thought, this plan kept her stronger. Home, she had to go home. She began the preparations.
Then just as her life was beginning to resemble some normalcy and her trip home took shape, Mammy fell ill. She had not been prepared to lose her last link with her childhood and a life that had been safe. She had called for the best doctors, but found there was nothing to be done. An illness in her lungs had progressed too far and it was only a matter of time. To go home now would be pointless. She had to care for Mammy and make her last days at least comfortable.
Scarlett sat with Mammy, held her hand, fed her and read to her. She wanted to hold on to every last minute with her. Then it happened, Mammy asked for Rhett. She could not deny the older woman, so she sat down and wrote to him. She prayed that he had gone back to his Mother in Charleston and that he was still there.
Two weeks had passed, with no word back from him. Scarlett cried herself to sleep, knowing in her heart that he wouldn't come back, not even for Mammy "he probably thinks it is some scheme I have concocted" she sobbed into her pillow "Damn you Rhett" she whispered "Damn you."
Another week had passed. Mammy had fallen into a fever. Scarlett left her side only when it was necessary.
The door opened behind her. Scarlett was reading quietly from the Bible to Mammy. She paused, not looking up "Set the tray on the table, I will help Mammy with her supper" she said softly then returned to the verse she had been reading.
Rhett stared at the figure before him. Even in the dimming light he could see she had lost weight. She wore black from head to toe, her back straight as she read to Mammy. Her voice soft and tired. His eyes went past Scarlett to the figure lying quietly in the bed amidst blankets. His breath caught at the sight of the faded woman before him. Whatever disease had caused this had played its hand on the woman all too well. She was but a shell of her former self.
Mammy stirred. Turning her head she took notice of the quiet figure in the corner, watching her and her Mistress. Her voice cracked as she spoke "Miss Ellen" a cough took over before she could finish.
Scarlett immediately set the Bible aside and was at Mammy's side. She pulled her up to a sitting position, trying to elevate the pain of the coughing spasm "It's ok Mammy" she whispered encouragingly "There now all better" she smiled as the fit came to an end "Do you want some water?" she asked, Mammy nodded yes and Scarlett helped her drink a bit "Now lay back and rest, I will get your supper ready." She eased Mammy back, tucked her in and stood back.
Scarlett turned and as she did she ran into Rhett "Oh" she almost shrieked as she hit him. She looked up "Rhett" her voice came so light he almost didn't hear it "You came."
"Of Course my dear I came" he pushed past her "for Mammy" he finished coldly as he took a seat next to Mammy.
Scarlett could hardly hold back the tears that were threatening to burst. She managed to leave the room as quickly as possible "I....I...I will see about supper" she stammered as she practically ran from the room.
Once in the hallway she collapsed against the closed door "The look in his eyes, the coldness in his voice" she thought "he truly hates me" her mind cried.
Reality slapped her back as the children came down the hall. She could not let them see her cry anymore "Children" she called with a light smile as she wiped back a stray tear "Uncle Rhett is in seeing Mammy."
Wade's eyes immediately lit up "Uncle Rhett" he said. Yes he was learning to love his Mother more and more each day, but he longed for a man in the house to talk to, and to see the only Father figure he had ever known again.
Ella seemed indifferent as to the fact. In her mind Uncle Rhett had come and gone so much of her life she took little notice to his return "Mother the tree is set up in the front hall and we have a smaller one set up in the study" her ginger curls bounced with excitement "can we start the popcorn chains now? Please" she pleaded.
"The word is May we start the popcorn chains, and the answer is" she paused watching their eyes lit with excitement "yes if the cook has the popcorn ready"
She barely had gotten the words out when the children took off down the hall "Thank you Mother" Wade called as they disappeared down the stairs.
"Keeping them occupied my dear" the Charleston Drawl she had missed so filled the air as Rhett stepped up behind her.
Scarlett did not turn as she answered "Yes I thought it better to keep them busy with happier things during this time" she paused as she began to walk away "why put them through unnecessary pain and misery than what they are facing when she passes."
She walked away, very aware of the fact that he stayed a step behind her "She thinks you are your Mother" he commented as they approached the stairs.
Scarlett froze, her hand clutching the banister "I know" she whispered "I…I thought it better to let her. She has been with such a fever that I did not want to confuse her further." She wanted to turn to him, but couldn't. She couldn't face the coldness in his eyes "if you will excuse me I have to take care of dinner." She took a breath, steadied herself and descended the stairs, her hand never leaving the banister.
Rhett watched her as she walked down the stairs and disappeared into the dining room. "What have we done?" he pondered as he turned and went to his room.
Rhett went directly to the cabinet and poured a drink. He knelt to the dying embers of his fireplace. Picking up the poker he stirred the embers. As he watched the flames begin to grow, his thoughts fell back to his conversation with Mammy moments before.
-----He sat down and took Mammy's hand in his. He was aware of the door shutting quietly behind him. He focused on the ancient eyes that held a wisdom about them, a wisdom that he respected and cherished "Mammy are you comfortable?" he asked.
Mammy cracked a slight smile for him "Yes Mr. Rhett, Ah's is" she stirred a bit "My Lamb is taking good cares of this old woman" she sighed as she closed her eyes.
Rhett sat back, staring at her. He had thought she had fallen asleep. His thoughts drifted to the sight he had met when he entered the room. Scarlett looked so lost. The fire in her eyes had dimmed; he could see that even in the soft light of the room.
His thoughts were broken as Mammy began to speak, her eyes still closed "she loves you" she whispered in a cracked voice "I worry she will carry a broken heart, like my dear Ellen did" she coughed quietly, stirring a bit to reposition "Ah's think shes paid her pennants" she paused, taking a rattled breath "she reminds me more of my dear Ellen each day." finished as she drifted to sleep.
Rhett stood and quietly left the room, where he found Scarlett talking softly to her children. He watched as they ran off and he watched as her shoulders sagged a bit as she began to follow them.------
Rhett stood up and sipped his brandy.
His heart called to her, but his mind refused to listen. Shaking his head he turned to unpack his bags that lay at the end of the bed. He would talk to her after dinner.
************************************************************************
As Rhett unpacked, his mind recalled the events of the last few months.
--------------
After leaving Scarlett, he had planned on going straight to Charleston, but with the passing of Mrs. Wilkes he decided to wait until after the funeral. He owed Melanie that much, she was one of the few true ladies he had ever met.
He had watched Scarlett and the children from a distance during the ceremony at the cemetery. He watched as she took the children by the hand, turned them and walked away as the dirt began to fall on the small grave. He followed. He watched them as they stopped at a much smaller grave, one that made his heart lurch with loss again. He could tell by her shaking shoulders she was crying. Then Wade looked at him. He knew the boy would tell her and he couldn't face her just yet, so he left. He boarded the train awhile later and left Scarlett and his troubles behind, or so he thought.
The time in Charleston was, if anything, refreshing. Just as Scarlett needed her Tara, he needed Charleston. His Mother had mentioned Scarlett but once. He quickly changed the subject and his Mother decided not to bother him with it anymore, as his mood seemed to foul at the mention of her name.
But, everywhere he went, every woman he met, reminded him of Scarlett in someway. It could be their eye color, the scent of their perfume or the shade of their hair. He would push the thoughts away with alcohol, but this too left him empty. When under the influence, he had run their last conversation through his mind over and over. The pain and honesty in her eyes as she proclaimed her love. The sight of her crumpled on the floor in tears as he walked away.
He knew it was a matter of time and he would return, but what would he come back to? She was a poison to him; she was a drug he could not quite rid himself of. Would she welcome him back, would she have followed through on her childhood fantasy? It was thoughts like this that kept him in Charleston.
Then the letter. Not to him, but his mother with another enclosed for him. His Mother was insistent that he read the letter.
Rhett,
I realize you may not receive this letter, but I felt I had to write. Mammy has fallen ill and she is asking for you. I do not know how much time she will have and I wanted to fill one of her last requests, to see you.
Scarlett
The letter was simple and to the point. No comments or pleas of her love for him. He felt she had to be telling the truth. Within an hour he was packed and heading to the train station to catch the train to Atlanta. In the recesses of his mind he questioned her motives, but he pushed these back.
---------------
Rhett finished unpacking, poured another brandy, drank it down and left his room. He quietly entered the dining room to find Wade and Ella dining by themselves. Clearing his throat he announced his presence "Children" he said quite simply.
Wade and Ella looked up. Wade smiled, inwardly he had hoped now that maybe Rhett could cheer his mother up and he had missed him. Ella smiled politely before speaking "Uncle Rhett, Mother had said you were home" she motioned to the chair at the head of the table "Your place has been set."
Rhett made his way to the appointed seat "So grown up Ella" he commented.
"Thank you" she replied "I have been working on my manners with Mother" she finished as she began to finish her meal.
Wade and Rhett talked through most of the meal. Wade filled him in on the coming and goings of the household. How his Mother had been helping them with their studies and that he had talked to her about attending school up north. "But of course Mother was quite upset and asked me to wait at least a year or two before I want to run up to Yankee country" Wade laughed and Rhett joined.
Ella had finished her meal and asked to be excused, stating she was not interested in desert.
Wade shook his head "She wants to be so like Mother" he said quietly as his sister left the room "I tell her it can't be good for Mother to skip meals" Wade turned back to his uneaten meal.
"Why has your Mother been skipping meals?" Rhett inquired.
"Well I suppose she doesn't take the time to" he paused as he finished his dinner "She works too hard for us, if you don't mind Uncle Rhett I am going to excuse myself, desert has lost it's appeal."
Rhett excused the boy and sat alone pondering the boy's words. Scarlett did look as though she was pushing herself again. He laughed to himself "and I thought at first glance she was building a better relationship with her children, but alas she is still selfish Scarlett." His thoughts were interrupted by the announcement that someone was there.
Rhett figured Scarlett was with Mammy, so he attended to the guest.
A young, well-dressed gentleman is what he found as he walked to the entryway "Good Evening" the man began as he gestured his hand in welcoming "You must be Mr. Butler, it is good to finally meet you."
"I'm sorry you have me at an advantage" began Rhett as he shook the man's hand.
"Oh I am sorry, I am Dr. Johnson" he apologized "I have been helping Dr. Meade with some of his cases and I am here to check on the patient" he explained.
"I see," replied Rhett "Well let me show you the way" he finished as he showed the young doctor to Mammy's room.
Rhett watched as the Dr. Johnson checked Mammy over and has the man briefly looked over Scarlett, the later slightly disturbed Rhett.
He showed the doctor out, but just as they reached the door Dr. Johnson turned to Rhett "If you don't mind me saying" he began "I am quite concerned for your wife's health."
"Why is that?" asked Rhett "Scarlett is one of the strongest women I know, I realize she has lost some weight, perhaps, and is a bit pale, but I am sure once I get her to take a break and rest she will bounce back. She always does" he finished.
"I realize that, it just that Dr. Meade asked me to check on her as well. We are trying to make Mammy comfortable, but Mrs. Butler needs to tend to herself as well" he paused as he reached for the door handle "I am sure you will make sure that she does. Good evening Mr. Butler" with that he left.
Rhett retired to the study and poured another drink. He was pondering the doctor's concerns when he heard someone enter the room. Turning he found Scarlett standing in the door way, quite pale and slightly shaking "Scarlett" his voice showing more emotion than he cared to show at that time.
Scarlett's eyes were on the floor as her voice came weakly "She is gone" she brought her eyes up to meet Rhett's "Mammy is gone" and she collapsed in a faint.
"Scarlett" Rhett called as he ran to her side. He picked her slight form up and carried her over to a couch across the room. Gently he patted her cheeks until she came too.
As her eyes opened, she focused in on the voice calling to her. The voice that had filled her nightmares for the past few months and then the eyes that haunted her with guilt. "Rhett" she whispered as tears began to fall "Oh Rhett."
Rhett pulled her close and held her, soothing away the pain and fear as he had always done "Shh now no more tears" he whispered into her ear "I am here now."
************************************************************************
The next week went by in a blur for Scarlett. She was once again at her Tara, but this time to lay to rest one too dear to her heart. She watched as Mammy was laid to rest near her Mother. She turned and left before the sound of the dirt falling on the coffin could fill her ears. She couldn't stand that sound anymore in her lifetime. Too many times had she laid to rest those she loved.
Rhett had been her savior through the ordeal. Supportive and caring, he had taken care of everything.
They had returned to Atlanta the following week. The site of the festive decorations did nothing for Scarlett as she retreated to her room. She sat in her chair again, staring into the flames. Watching them slowly consume the wood, leaving behind only ash. This made her think of life and how everything around her had been consumed and only the barest ash remained.
This is how Rhett found her. He walked to her side, knelt and placed his hand on hers "Scarlett you must come out and get some air, you are only going to make yourself ill if you keep hiding in here."
Not looking at him she answered, "Rhett, does it matter?" she asked "Why are you here, I thought you couldn't stomach to look upon me and with Mammy gone there is nothing holding you here?" her voice was emotionless and empty, her eyes void.
"Scarlett I am here because I want to be and I want to make sure you are going to be alright" he began "I have been thinking"
She interrupted him "Stop Rhett, don't say anymore, just leave me alone."
Rhett obeyed and left her alone. He walked out of her room, to find his stepchildren waiting for him. It was Ella who asked "Is Mother ok?" her young face etched in pain.
Rhett looked down at them "She will be fine, she just needs rest" he lied, knowing that Scarlett needed to snap out of this soon.
Rhett kept the children busy for the next few days preparing for Christmas. Though the house seemed to radiate the emotions of all who lived under its roof, the holiday season began to take shape. Rhett blamed himself for Scarlett's health. He should have listened, he should have stayed, but no he chose to run as he always did.
He spent afternoons with Scarlett, trying to improve her mood. His heart lurched at what she had become. Pale was not the word to describe her deathly tone. Her voice, when she spoke, came broken and raspy. She had given up so he tried harder.
But slowly before his eyes he watched her fade away.
Christmas had come and gone with no improvement. New Years Eve Rhett again tried. He promised to take her away.
Scarlett lay in bed, her pale hand lifted and rested on Rhett's tan one. Her voice came softly almost a whisper "Rhett please just go, go and live your life."
He left her that night and retired to his room. Still unable to utter the words that she had so desperately needed to hear from him. Sleep finally came.
Rhett awoke the next morning and again went to Scarlett's side. As he entered the room, he noted the fire had died down. He slowly stirred the embers and added wood to heat her room. He went to her side and sat down. He picked her hand up and was shocked to find how cold it was. His heart jumped "NO" he screamed as he pulled her up from the bed, but he was too late. Scarlett had passed during the night.
Prissy came running when she heard his scream and was not prepared for the sight that she found. Rhett held Scarlett in his arms, sitting in her chair before the fire trying to warm her, but to no avail.
************************************************************************
One year later…..
Rhett laid the roses upon the grave. A tear fell as he looked upon the cold gray stone and read again the words that filled his soul with loss beyond belief…
Katie Scarlett Butler
Beloved wife and mother
Next it stood a similar stone, yet much smaller, marking the resting place of their daughter.
Rhett left the cemetery and returned to their home at the end of Peachtree Street. His heart was empty, and his soul lost. He returned to pick up Wade and Ella. He was taking them up north later that day to visit the academy that Wade had hoped to attend. He had tried so hard in the last year to take care of her children, they would never want for anything he vowed.