Author: fbi-woman
Rating: PG
Type: C/G, originally a songfic to Tim Rushlow's "I Can't Be Your Frienc Anymore". For the songfic version, check out : Just let me know please.
Spoilers: None that I know of!
AN : I personally like the songfic version better, but I can't include the lyrics here so that is unfortunate. I don't think it has the same effect without the lyrics, but hopefully it's still alright.
Disclaimer: I hate this part. sighs. As much as I would like to lie, the characters and the show are not mine nor am I affiliated with them in any way (except In happy dreams lol). This is just my fictional vision.
Anymore
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He placed his head in his hands as she slammed the door to his office. He hated it when they fought and it seemed as though it was happening more often these days. Things had been weird between them lately, and it was probably his fault. He's been hiding his feelings for so long and it was getting harder to keep them at bay. It was almost terrifying to think that maybe she knew, but the odds of her finding out were getting higher everyday. Several times she'd caught him staring at her. She'd put two and two together soon. He knew that. She was smart – it was one of the many things he loved about her. He had to tell her. He had to tell her now. He took a deep breath and headed out in pursuit of his love.
"Where could she have gone?" he muttered to himself.
"Hey Gris"
He looked up just in time to see Warrick pass.
"Hey Warrick. Have you seen Catherine?" he asked.
"Yeah, her shift just ended. She was headed for the locker room."
"Thanks!" Grissom called as he turned in the direction of the locker room.
He opened the door and bumped right into Catherine. He instinctively reached out to catch her, looking into her eyes and he held her. He should let go but he was lost in her eyes. He loved those beautiful, blue eyes. She blushed slightly and cast her glance downward and he reluctantly let go.
"Uh, can we, uh, talk?" he stammered.
"Sure" she replied softly.
"Uh…" how was he supposed to say it? "Uh…" he stuttered again. "Never mind," he finished.
"Is everything ok?" she asked with concern.
"Yeah. Everything's fine." he lied.
"Ok… I guess I'll see you later," she said with uncertainty.
"Yeah" he said, as he watched her turn and leave.
What was wrong with him? Why didn't he just say it? He sighed and headed back to the mountain of paperwork that was waiting for him at his desk.
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He booked the night off work – something he's barely ever done and now he was really wishing he hadn't. Catherine was working their case alone tonight and he was worried about her. It was a child homicide – the kind of case everyone, especially Catherine, hated to see. The case was almost over though and she was a strong person (yet another this he loved about her) so maybe she would be fine. He glanced at the clock. Her shift was ending right now. He turned the television on and started flipping channels in hopes of distracting himself from thinking about her. It wasn't long before the late night television bored him to sleep but he was soon awakened by a knock on his front door. His groggy mind tried to piece together what time it was and who could possibly be visiting him at such an hour. He pressed the power button on the remote and cautiously moved towards the door. He was both surprised and concerned to see Catherine standing on the other side. The light from above the door fell across her face, revealing the tears that slowly rained down her cheeks.
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He took her by the hand, leading her inside and closing the door behind them. Her tears began falling more quickly and he reached for her but she turned away, trying to regain her composure.
"Catherine" he said softly, placing his hand on her shoulder. "Talk to me."
She nodded slowly and sat down on the couch.
"I was working on our case and my shift had just ended when Brass came in and told me he'd found our killer." She took a ragged breath and continued, "I went to talk to him and…. and…." she tried desperately to speak through her tears. "Just… what he said… he didn't even care about what he did to that poor little girl and her family!" She began to cry harder. "I never should've taken that case."
She could no longer speak – she was sobbing too hard. He wanted so badly to take her in his arms, to comfort her and let her cry on his shoulder but he knew that wouldn't happen. He wasn't sure she returned his feelings: that she would ever want to be like that with him. He'd never know unless he told her, but now wasn't the time for that. She was too upset to handle that tonight. Although it tore him up inside, he would have to settle for just being her friend right now. She needed her friend. If only he could be more…
Morning came and he knew today had to be the day. He couldn't keep his secret locked up any longer. Today he would tell her. He was exceptionally happy today. It felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off his chest with his decision.
"Good morning Gillian" he said cheerfully to the receptionist as he walked into the lab.
"Morning Mr. Grissom" she replied.
However, his happiness quickly changed to nervousness when he saw Catherine.
"Hey" she greeted.
"Morning Catherine. Are you feeling a little better today?" he asked gently.
"Yeah," she said softly, "I'm sorry about coming by so late."
"Anytime" he said wholeheartedly. "I want to talk to you about something. Can you come to my place after shift for some coffee?" he asked, surprised at his own courage.
"Yeah, sounds great" she replied.
"Alright. I'll see you then."
They both went their separate ways.
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He was getting more nervous by the second as she climbed in the passenger seat. The ride to his house was silent – he was too nervous to talk. His mind was reeling. What was he going to say? Should he cut to the chase or make some sort of romantic speech? His hands shook slightly as he unlocked the front door. She sat down on the couch as he started the coffeemaker. He gathered his thoughts as he sat down next to her. He took her hands in his. This was it.
"There's something I've been wanting to talk to you about for quite some time" he began. "I've tried to ignore it and I've tried to hide it but I can't run from the truth." He looked into her eyes. "I love you."
He closed his eyes and held his breath as his heart pounded like crazy. The silence was awful. He wondered what was going through her mind. He prayed for her love.
She was still silent. Now he was really getting nervous. He opened his eyes slowly and found her eyes locked on his, a smile spread across her face. A single tear slid down her face.
"I love you too" she whispered.
A rush of relief and happiness washed over him. She loved him.
"You know, there's something else I've wanted to do" he said.
"What's that?" she asked.
He leaned in slowly and pressed his lips against hers. He wrapped his arms around her, finally able to hold her the way he had dreamed. He never wanted to let go, and his heart never would.