YES. I should either be 1) watching MORE katekyo, or 2) updating my Fangirl Diaries, or 3) doing my Science Investigative Report.

Instead, I'm starting on a NEW fic. PUT DOWN THOSE TONFAS/DYNAMITES/FLAMIN' GLOVES/TRIDENTS/GUNS/KNIVES ON A WIRE/WHATEVER WEAPON YOU ARE WEILDING. I promise this will be FUNNY.

And of course, no pairings. Sorry.

Disclaimer: No I don't like Hibari. No I don't own him either. No I don't WANT to own him either. Nor do I own Katekyo Hitman Reborn. But why do I even bother? You know that already.

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I suppose you could blame Yamamoto for it. After all, he's the one who threw the ball.

Or then, maybe you could blame Gokudera, for daring Yamamoto to throw the ball at Hibari.

But then again, you could blame Tsuna, since if he wasn't so shocked at Gokudera's stupid request, he could have commanded his right hand man to STAND DOWN.

Heck, if you want, you can even blame Ryohei, Chrome and even Mukuro. Why? Because they weren't in the path of the ball. (But if you want to go to such extremes, you should blame the Vendicare staff for keeping Mukuro in jail. Otherwise, he could have been in the path of the ball, and protected Hibari unwittingly…and painfully)

Hibari Kyouya planned to blame the entire Vongola family for what happened to him.

"I'M SORRY HIBARI-SAN I SHOULD NOT HAVE LET GOKUDERA ASK YAMAMOTO TO THROW THE BALL AT HIBIRD THUS CAUSING YOU TO CALL TO HIBIRD LETTING HIBIRD FLY OUT OF THE WAY THUS LETTING THE BALL FLY STRAIGHT INTO YOUR FACE SENDING YOU FLYING OVER THE EDGE OF THE ROOFTOP PLEASE DON'T BITE ME OR GOKUDERA OR YAMAMOTO TO DEATH WAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" wailed Tsuna in one big breath, rather pathetically.

Hibari glared daggers at the whimpering mess that was to be the Vongola Juudaime. He would have said "Shut up you stupid herbivore, you're disturbing the peace of this room", but the bandages tightly wound over his head and mouth prevented him from doing so. Mumbling incoherently into the bandages would ruin his image of being in control.

But then, when one is tightly wrapped in bandages from head to toe, you can't really BE in control.

Gokudera was looking a bit shamefaced in the corner of the hospital room. "Juudaime, please don't do this! It's all my FAULT!" Glaring at Hibari, he said "If you DARE hurt the Juudaime, I will KILL you."

Yamamoto had kindly sent a bouquet of flowers and a get-well card, because due to his busy schedule of baseball practice and helping out at the family restaurant, he couldn't come. Not that Hibari cared anyway. The less herbivores appearing in his hospital room, the better.

The doctor came in. "Are you two friends of Hibari Kyouya?"

"Uh…kind of..?" Tsuna said, looking nervously at Hibari, in case he killed Tsuna for even THINKING they were…friends. Hibari said nothing, and just continued staring out of the window.

"Okay. Hibari needs complete bed rest for the next 2 days, and he has to eat only steamed fish, steamed pork, vegetables and plain rice for the next two months. And NO FIGHTING."

"Oh..okay Doctor. Thank you."

When the doctor left, Gokudera looked questioningly at Hibari. Turning to Tsuna, he asked, "Where the HECK does Hibari stay anyway? The school?"

Hibari rolled his eyes, then narrowed them at Tsuna and Gokudera.

"Well, I guess we'll just take him to my place…my mother wouldn't mind taking care of one more person…" Tsuna said. After all, the rest of the Vongola family seemed to pop by the house rather often…most of them, anyway. And Dino, and Bianchi, and I-pin.

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Hibari was lying on Tsuna's bed. He hated being here.

But then, he was NEVER going to reveal where he really lived. As soon as he was able to walk, he was getting OUT of this herbivore's place.

Nana walked in with a tray of porridge. "Hibari-san! Tsuna and Gokudera wanted to come see if you were okay, but then I said you needed your peace!"

At least SOMEONE has some intelligence around here, thought Hibari. He didn't think he could stand being around those weak stupid herbivores within a 2 metre radius around him without bursting out of the bandages and biting them all to death.

"I brought dinner! Tsu-kun told me about your new diet. So I brought fish porridge!"

If Hibari wasn't as cool as he is, he would have gasped, screamed, torn out his hair, or done all three. But he IS Hibari Kyouya, so he couldn't. Even with the bandages around his mouth taken away, he refused to show emotion like that.

But Hibari hated fish.

And vegetables. But he's the carnivore, and its normal for carnivores to hate vegetables.

And to Hibari, fish was like…the mock, weak imitation of meat. He didn't really mind raw fish and all that, but cooked fish was just…weak.

And here he was, forced to a diet of fish and vegetables.

If this diet didn't kill him, he would.

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"Hey Gokudera-kun. Did you hear that muffled choking and screaming sound? It sounded like it came from my room…"

"I'm sorry Juudaime…I didn't hear anything. My, your mother's roasted duck is really magnificient…"

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This is kinda based on a true story because due to an irritating thing that infected my ear, I am doomed to a diet similar to our dear Hibari's. HLAHLAHLAHLA.

Except I LOVE fish. And Hibari doesn't.

HAHAHA.

Later, we'd be bringing in other characters to torture him and watch Hibari suffer. Ah well, its only one more chapter where he can't walk.

To all Hibari lovers out there: Tough.

Now review. And any reviews that are basically a variation of: UPDATE FANGIRL DIARIES will be viciously flame-replied, or simply deleted from my inbox. Yes I WILL update it. Wait, darn it. Sheesh.