Richard, Ringo Langly was a hopeless case. He loved the Ramones, and REM. He loved Doritos more than Fritos, and impossibly he loved Dana Scully. She could never be his, and he knew that. He didn't care; he felt the way he felt. He did a great job of hiding his feelings. Somehow, he hoped she could tell the way he felt about her. Suddenly flustered, Ringo paused, sneaking a swift, guilty look at the bottle. "No, I'm not drinking."

Frohike nodded and decided not to press him any further. "Feel better if I threw some chocolate your way?"

Ringo laugh-snorted. "Yes, please."

"Here," Melvin said, "knock yourself out." Mel scrutinized his friend's odd behavior while boring visual holes into the door of Langly's bedroom. Then, he moved off, intending to go out to their old VW van. He went through the office on his way to the locked, bolted front door to their new digs and headquarters for tactical snooping, a doublewide trailer situated in a lowkey trailer park that suited their clandestine needs.

Ringo lay loose-limbed on his bed, wishing he was the type Scully went for. He hadn't breathed a word of what he had in mind. If he told them, would they understand? He was thinking long-term, planning for a future that might come sooner than anyone knew. The web was his life, but he wanted to make Dana a big part of his life too. Ringo nearly spit out a mouthful of chocolate with a laugh, wiping off his face with his tongue. "Maybe I should call her."

"Call who?" Mel stood in the doorway of his bedroom.

"Uh...uh..."

"Hey, Blondie," Mel said sharply, "let's watch Sharknado. It's coming on."

"No!"

"What do you mean no?"

"I don't wanna. Just leave me alone, okay?" Langly shifted on the bed, turning his back to Frohike.

Mel had zero tolerance for whiners. "Stop doing this to yourself, man. It doesn't get any better eating your heart out about it. It is what it is. So, just stop!"

"Stop what?"

"Quit the radio silence. You've got it bad like I once did. But the beautiful, elusive Agent Scully is a one-man woman. Mulder's."

Ringo twisted his lower lip. "I know that. We all know that."

"There's no way goin' up against that. So stop the sob routine, and watch the movie. You know you want to," Mel cajoled.

Turning to face him, Langly sat up on his bed. Sluggishly, he admitted, "Yeah...I do."

"Women," Frohike uttered with a sigh.

"Yeah." Langly pouted, going for more chocolate. "Ain't that the truth."

"Want popcorn? I'll pop some. I think there's some Jiffy Pop around here somewhere."

"Yeah, I could eat some, along with the chocolate." Langly went into their bathroom, removed his severe-looking glasses, and splashed his face with cold water. Maybe if he cut his hair, and spruced up a lot more, he might stand a chance with the fashion forward, titian-haired Federal agent. Frohike was right; Mulder had the inside track. Still, perhaps with a little up grading, he might catch her eye once and a while.

The smell of popcorn pervaded their new home. Mel entered the small living room with the Jiffy Pop, set the Tupperware down on the two-by-four coffee table, and invited Langly to dig in. With the remote in hand, he went straight for the Sci-Fi channel.

"Out of all the Sharnado's, the first one was the best." Langly fed himself some popcorn and a chunk of chocolate at the same time. The combo would've been better if the chocolate had been much softer, actually drizzled on the popcorn.

Reaching for a handful of popcorn, Frohike stuffed his share into his mouth. His words largely smothered, he said, "Then you get your wish. This is the first one."

"Cool." Langly settled back on the lumpy sofa, content to lose himself in the manufactured drama, with some comic relief thrown in. The more he thought about cutting his hair to tweak his image, the more attractive the idea was.

"Langly."

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you try online dating?" was Melvin's unsolicited suggestion.

"Why don't you try not talking over the movie!"

Frohike ignored his close friend and blond colleague's snark. "Just a recommendation, pal. Take it for what it's worth."

"Shhh!" The displaced sharks were swimming down Santa Monica Boulevard, chomping anything they could get their teeth on, just one of many of Langly's favorite parts. In the throes of the grisly scene, he wondered, his heart beating a clip faster. Has Scully ever seen this movie gem? It's too late now, but the next time it's on, this spot next to me is reserved for her.

Instead of watching the movie, Melvin had his eyes on Ringo, noting just how out of it Langly looked. Feeling sorry for him, Frohike patted Langly's shoulder. "How long have you felt this way about her?"

Unashamed, Langly confirmed, "From day one..."

Melvin face palmed, and dove into concentrating on Sharrnado head first. As long as Langly kept his feelings about the mesmerizing Agent Scully, tightly to himself, there would be no repercussions of the weird kind.