Author's Note: Ok. Ok. So I can get a little bored. My computer class has to be one of the most boring classes ever in existence. Stuff like this is the product of it. Scary. Very scary. Please read and laugh. Then review. I LOVE reviews.

Disclaimer: No own no da. It really is too bad. I would make such a good owner.

Warning: Extreme silliness. Slight shonen-ai (mentioned only in passing)

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Title: Tasuki vs. the Computer

Rated: PG for Tasuki's language, although I beeped most of it out. ~*~*~

Tasuki stared at the machine in front of him, amber eyes confused. He poked it. Nothing happened. Assured it was not alive, he took a couple steps towards it and sat down in the seat his Miko had indicated before leaving the room. Remembering what she had done earlier, he gingerly touched the thing to the right of what she had called the keyboard. The mouse, he mused. That's what she called it.

He jumped. The little arrow-thingy on the screen had moved! How the hell did that happen? He moved it, the mouse, again. The little arrow-thingy moved. He repeated the process. He soon put together that if you move the mouse, the little arrow-thingy moved. Tasuki continued to play with the mouse, easily amused and having a lot of fun.

Then, the unexpected happened. He accidentally clicked the left button. Twice. Something happened. He read the words at the top of the screen. "Microsoft Word" he sounded out. "What the hell is that?" It was then that he noticed, really noticed, the keyboard for the first time. He carefully pressed one of the keys, seemingly afraid. It was the "T" naturally. The letter appeared on the screen. "AHHHHH!!!! How the hell did that happen??!!!" he screamed, eyes darting between the keyboard and monitor, comparing the them.

'Was there some kind of connection between the two?' he mused. Being Tasuki, he decided to try his theory out. He stared at the keyboard, searching for the "A". He found it and pressed it. An "A" showed up on the screen. He accidentally held it down for a few seconds and a row of "a" appeared. "Damn," he cursed. " I don't have THAT many a's in my name. Now how do I get rid of this stuff?"

He stared at the keyboard again, this time reading the keys. " Tab, Caps Lock, Shift, Enter, Backspace? WHAT THE &*$% DOES ALL THIS MEAN?" Well, there was only one thing to do. Trial and Error. So he pressed all the keys. When he pressed "Tab" the little blinky-thingy moved in a lot. "Backspace" moved it back to where it originally was, after the "a". Then nothing happened until he got to "Enter". The cursor, to him the little blinky-thingy, moved down a row. Nothing happened after that.

Fed up, Tasuki decided to move on. Again he pressed the "T" key. This time it was a capital letter. The same with the "A". And the rest of the letters in his name. The bandit was thrilled. His name was on the screen! It was amazing! "These gadgets from the Miko world are really somethin' else," he mused.

Now that he had the hang of the keyboard, he began to type in earnest. The bandit picked out the letters of his lover's name and was extremely happy when Chichiri's name appeared next to his own. "TASUKICHICHIRI" was clear. This thing was just way too much fun. He pressed "Enter" a few times and wrote out "REKKA SHINEN". And "NO DA". And "SUZAKU". And "KOUJI". And everything else he could think of.

However, all good things must come to an end eventually, including the fire seishi's obsession with Microsoft Word. Tasuki pressed the first square in the corner, making the program go away. He was slightly startled but quickly recovered. He was back to what he recognized as the original screen. Now that he had some idea of what he was doing, though, he studied it more closely.

The screen was covered in little pictures with words underneath them, seemingly overtop a blue and white cloud background. One in particular caught the bandit's attention. It was a blue box with a white triangle inside. The words written below it read "America Online". "What the hell is an America Online?" Tasuki wondered aloud. "Better yet, what's an America? And an Online? The Miko world is so damn confusing!"

Having learned that trial and error was probably his best bet, the seishi took his newfound skill, double clicking, and tried it out on the America Online. A blue box appeared and proudly displayed it's name before turning into yet another screen. Tasuki studied it carefully. SuZaKuNoMiKo7 was written in the first box, put the second was blank. He noticed the writing asked for a password. He wasn't sure why it wanted a password, but he had some idea of what it would be, and quickly picked out the letters of Tamahome's name. He was just wondering what to do next when the door opened.

The wing seishi turned around to see Miaka re-entering the room. "Tasuki! You've figured out how to work the computer!" the Miko gushed. She received only a blank look in return. Miaka looked at the screen and noticed Tasuki had accessed AOL, though he apparently couldn't figure out what to do next. She giggled and pressed the "Enter" key. To Tasuki's surprise, the computer responded by changing what was seen on the monitor and making noises.

Tasuki knew this couldn't be good. Without a second thought, he pushed Miaka out of the way and drew his tessen. "Don't worry Miaka, I won't let this monster hurt you!" he yelled. Ignoring her protests, Tasuki brought his weapon up and down with a "Lekka Shinen!" Not even a second later, the computer was a hunk of blackened plastic and metal. Tasuki stood proudly, not noticing Miaka's upset expression.

Finally, the Miko couldn't take it anymore. She stood up and glared at her seishi, who, finally noticing her, cringed. "TASUKI!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY COMPUTER??!!" she screeched at the top of her lungs. Tasuki took another step backwards before falling out the door. He quickly scrambled to his feet and ran away, Miaka hot on his heels. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS TASUKI!!"

The bandit could do nothing but run. And yell. "HELP!!" he screamed. "CHICHIRI! NURIKO! TAMAHOME! ANYONE! HEEEELP!!"

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Errr.yeah. Well, that was interesting. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Tasuki to death, but he's so much fun to tease. I know I should be working on my other fics, but I HAD to finish this one. Remember to R&R! ^_^