When housing the Avengers under his house, Tony had found it strange that Thor out of all of them was the one who was most concerned about him. Not in the way the dear old Captain was, he didn't mother hen him into eating and sleeping properly, all while talking about team dynamics and being ready for anything but a different kind of concern, an emotional one. There were times, many of them when the rest took him for granted, when he would miss a meeting or a debriefing because he actually had a company to run unlike the rest and that was time consuming, as the most prolific Avenger he did PR for them as well so they never had to know what an intrusion of privacy felt like and those times were never truly appreciated by them.
Clint would roll his eyes and made some comment about his playboy ways, Steve would give him that look that Howard used to give him as well, Natasha would quirk an eyebrow, even Bruce would sigh tiredly but Thor didn't. He simply thumped him on his back and told him he hoped his burden would be lessened soon and then in his own way that spoke of many years spent in the company of a silvertongue, convince the others to apologise for their uncalled for tempers and inconsideration towards Tony.
It was Steve who kept the team together and led them into battle but it was Thor who was the reason why Tony never got to the breaking point and simply withdraw from the team like he wanted to on so many occasions.
And that confused Tony.
Because he had seen the footage, read the notes and knew full well that of all the people on the team who should be giving him lip, who should fight him every other minute, who should lord over him, it was Thor. Not only because he was the big blonde puppy with the temper of a wild boar but also because, well he was the Prince of another Realm, one that was filled with great warriors and he was one of the best even there. What business did he have being kind and patient with Tony fucking Stark one of, if not the most irritating men on Earth?
He thought it over often in his lab. Sometimes he would be welding together the joints on the Iron Man suit when coming across a dent he'd acquired in a battle that Thor had followed up with an enthusiastic 'Good job, Man of Iron!' and a grin.
When he accidentally burnt himself because he was too busy wondering why Tony decided enough was enough. It was all fine to be wondering why people did the things they do but when they interfered with his work it was not done at all. He needed answers and he needed them now.
And so it was that he found himself pounding at the door of one Thor Odinson, Prince of Asgard at three in the night.
"What is-" Thor started, practically growling the words only to stop and blink when he saw who it was, his voice suddenly softening. "Tony?"
"See that, right there; it's freaking me out man!" Tony ignored all rules of etiquette ad stormed into Thor's room and began pacing.
"I do not understand."
"Why are you nice to me?!"
Thor grew confused. "Would you rather I wasn't?"
"It's not that I don't appreciate it, I do, believe me I do but I don't understand why and it's driving me nuts, why? Why do you single me out after fights to tell me I did a good job, why do you laugh at my pranks and not get angry why…?" He trailed off unable to express himself but from the dawning understanding on his face he knew Thor got what he was talking about.
"Why do I voice my appreciation so loudly?"
"It's not that I don't like it, I just don't understand."
Thor sat down on his bed and in that moment he looked tired, beyond exhausted and Tony followed suit sitting on the opposite end. This felt too much like a session of girl talk than he was comfortable with but to get the answers he was looking for, it was worth it.
"It is not something I expect you to understand."
"Thor, I need to."
They stayed silent before Thor leaned forward resting his hand in his hands utterly desolate for a brief second before sitting up straight again and turning to face Tony.
"You know my brother." He started.
"Psychotic, tried to throw me out of the window, opened a portal to lead an army of aliens into the world on my tower? Yeah I know him."
Thor smiled sadly. "That is not all there is to him. He is also, a genius, brilliant with words, magic and weapons and on Asgard for many millennia and even now, severely underappreciated."
Something in his chest clenched hard and Tony wondered if the arc reactor needed to have another maintenance session scheduled. "You see me in him."
"I see him in all of you. I see his way with words and snake like cunning in Agent Romanoff, the love for high places in Barton, the pain of one who has been bullied in Steve and that belief that he is a monster in Banner. I see him the most in you though. There were many times when he saved my life, times when he shouldered my burden for me and I have never thanked him for that. I can't remember a single time I told him thank you. We have…had been shield brothers for centuries and never did I tell him, assure him that he was appreciated. If you knew all that we have faced together and how I have behaved it would be me you would run away from not him.
I know now that I didn't lose him the day he fell into the Void, nor even the day he found out he was adopted. I lost him on a day long before that when all I could think of telling him when he was concerned for me was to 'know his place' . I refuse to lose another person to my words or even the lack of them. Not again Tony, never again."
Tony hated this forced understanding. But understand it he did. It was the same guilt that came from being the person who built the gun and loaded it before handing it off to someone else. For a while you could fool yourself, tell yourself it wasn't your fault after all you didn't pull the trigger. But you made the weapon.
So even though part of him hated it, even though the sweet words Thor would say to him would now leave a bitter taste he would at least understand. With time he might even appreciate it.