Disclaimer: I don't own Wicked.
Author's Note: Because I haven't written a Wicked fic in a while, and I was feeling inspired…please enjoy.
Summary: Because everyone knows the sorrow of unrequited love…Elphaba finds herself longing for something she knows she can never have.
For the Love of Reading-
-A One Shot
There was a reason Elphaba Thropp liked to read.
There was of course, the obvious reason. Having grown up with little friends, reading had become a way to pass the time. A way to pass the time that soon turned in to love. There was nothing more intellectual than reading. Whether it be fiction or not, to expand one's mind through words thrilled Elphaba in a way that most things could not.
It was quiet and thought provoking and the best stress reliever she had yet to find. And it had been a friend when she had none. It was her solace. Her calm. Her happiness. Her friend.
But that had quickly changed upon Elphaba's arrival at Shiz. Reading had begun as her hobby, a way to avoid her roommate and her annoying little biddies she, for some reason, called friends. But even then, a second, more discreet reason, emerged. Despite her efforts to ignore one Miss Galinda Upland, Elphaba found her eyes drawn not to the letters on the page, but just past the top. She would surreptitiously watch Galinda over the edge of her book, observing her in a way that would not have been possible if she simply stared. Galinda was a different creature, one unlike any Elphaba had ever encountered and the more she looked the less she understood. It was all the more proof for Elphaba that she and her blonde roommate would never get along.
And then they became friends.
And Elphaba's observations continued. And Elphaba learned Galinda's habits and her rituals and her quirks that no one else would ever learn. And then Elphaba's observations became more then mere observations. Elphaba found herself staring. And the staring turned into longing. And the longing led to flutters in her chest and butterflies in her stomach and a distinct set of feelings in her soul.
And so Elphaba continued to watch from the safety of pretending to read. For that way, she could look at Galinda in a way that would be deemed highly inappropriate under normal circumstances.
It was safe. It was freeing. It was perfect. And it was hidden.
No one knew, no one could know. And her books promised the perfect alibi. For, as Elphaba knew, hidden within the depths of literature were secrets and desires of which could only be imaged.
Elphaba sat under a tree by Suicide Canal, digesting her latest literary venture. At the moment she read for pleasure, not guise, though that would quickly change as the clock tower struck four.
There was a flurry as students poured from the buildings as another round of classes ended.
Elphaba's eyes paused on a line and flicked up. It was like her mind and eyes focused on their own. Within seconds, though the crowd of students was thick and busy, she spotted the blonde curls that signaled her roommate's imminent appearance.
Quickly her eyes flicked back to her book.
"Elphie!" Glinda's voice was hurried and panicked.
Elphaba felt her own chest tighten with the panic Galinda so obviously felt. What could have happened?
"What is it?" she asked, marking her page and closing the book with practiced skill.
"Tell me; tell me you can't see it!" Galinda said in a rush.
Elphaba's brow quirked and she did what she thought she was supposed to do; her eyes began to scan Galinda's body.
She first checked for harm and quickly realized that none had become her friend. Her skin was as beautiful as ever; porcelain and perfect, the perfect compliment to the water that glistened just beyond her. Her green dress clung to her in all the right places, sending Elphaba's heart a flutter as she realized that the green of the dress was a perfect match to her own verdigris skin.
What a pair they made…could make…
Elphaba's eyes finally fell to Galinda's face. Though her eyes and expression were that of panic; her features still held an air of carefree intelligence--a love of life and the Oz around them that Elphaba found captivating.
Elphaba locked her brown eyes with Galinda's blue and tilted her head to the side, making no attempt to mask her confusion. "See what?"
Galinda flopped to the ground with a grace that only she could conjure. She glared at Elphaba through narrowed lashes. "Don't you dare lie to me, Miss Elphaba, don't you dare."
The green woman could not help but give an exasperated sigh. "Galinda, I can honestly say I have no idea what you're talking about."
"This!" Galinda screeched, grabbing her dress at the shoulder and thrusting the material so close to Elphaba's face that her glasses slipped down her nose and her eyes crossed.
At the, unpleasantly, close view Elphaba was able to make out the faintest of stains on the material.
"What happened?" she asked, knowing Galinda would not have allowed the stain to exist is she could have helped it. And then, as she had spoken she suddenly wished she hadn't. For her senses were quickly over come by the sweet smell that was Galinda and she felt herself swoon at the sweetness of it.
Galinda's annoyed huff of indignation snapped her from her stupor.
"A misshapen spell cast by that Miss Rosen," Galinda explained, "When we were practicing in class." She huffed again. "Misshapen as much as I'm the Wizard! I know she cast that spell in my direction on purpose, Elphie, I just know it! We both know she's been upset ever since I started seeing Fiyero."
She isn't the only one, Elphaba thought as an all too familiar pang shot through her chest; cutting her to the core.
"Well, I went straight to Madame Morrible to get her to fix it, of course. But the old hag—," Elphaba but her lip to keep from smirking at Galinda's choice words, "—said she couldn't right it. Something about being unable to magic away magic remnants on clothes. They need to be washed. Ha! Elphie, she didn't even look at my sleeve."
"If you don't believe her, why don't you just fix it?"
Galinda's face contorted with such shock that Elphaba almost laughed. Almost. When she spoke again Galinda sounded as though she were stating the most obvious thing in Oz and that Elphaba was quite possibly the daftest person she'd met.
"I told Fiyero I would meet him at four-thirty! I can't possibly go back to our room, pull out my books, and attempt to find, learn, practice and perfect a spell I've never performed before. I'd go and turn my dress black!"
"Ozma forbid," Elphaba said, earning her a light slap on the shoulder from her counter part for her sarcasm.
"Don't you mock me, Elphaba! What am I going to do?"
Elphaba shook her head slightly, once again trying to suppress her mirth.
Galinda," she said, "It's going to be okay. I didn't even see the thing until you nearly thrust it up my nose. Fiyero,"—the name itself seemed to burn her tongue—"Won't even notice."
The blonde's face gleamed with the traces of sudden hope and Elphaba was certain Galinda's eyes had never shone so bright. Encouraged by the thought that she was responsible for the hope she saw, even at the most ridiculous of reason, Elphaba continued her reassurance.
"Besides, aren't you the one who told me that 'When it comes to fashion all men have the sense of a wolf on the hunt—it matters not what is worn but what lies beneath'."
Galinda's face changed from hope to shock at her friend's words before she let out a loud laugh that quickly gave way to a fit of giggles—the ringing of which bounced off the trees and danced on the water.
"Elphaba Thropp! I most certainly did not say that! Honestly, Elphie, the things you say."
Elphaba smiled as Galinda's laugh continued to rain down upon her. "So I paraphrased a little," she said with a shrug, her smile turning to a devious smirk.
Galinda's laughter slowly died and she shifted to a more comfortable sitting position, laying her hands neatly in her lap a pose of the sincerest form of femininity.
"Really Elphie, do I look okay?"
"You look beautiful."
The words slipped from Elphaba's lips before she could even think them, a thought she had thought so many times before it was now engrained in her mind. She felt her face flush purple with embarrassment.
But, it seemed, this was just the statement Galinda wanted to hear for her face lit so bright that the sun seemed dull in comparison.
"You think?" She asked, much like a child, smoothing out the ruffles of her dress.
I know, Elphaba thought, though her mind prevented her from speaking the words. "Of course, you needn't worry about non-existent stains."
Galinda smiled again and reached out, engulfing Elphaba in a hug.
"You're a good friend, Elphie," she whispered into Elphaba's ear, sending a jolt of, what the green girl could only describe as, desire through her body. Her chest swelled with the warmth of Galinda's body and she smiled, returning the hug gingerly; scared to hold too tight, unused to such displays of affection.
And then the embrace was broken and Elphaba wished she had been holding just the slightest bit tighter.
Suddenly, the sun disappeared and the two friends were engulfed in the shadow of a new arrival.
"Galinda," Fiyero said, looking down at the girls sitting on the ground.
Galinda jumped up in a graceful rush, expertly smoothing her dress. "Hello dearest," she said, standing on her tiptoes lightly and kissing Fiyero on the cheek. Elphaba quickly averted her eyes.
"Hello Elphaba," Fiyero said, as her placed his arm around Galinda's shoulders.
Elphaba felt her blood boil as Galinda smiled warmly up at the man next to her. "Hello Fiyero," she replied standing up, folding her arms across her chest; holding her book securely in place. "How are you this evening?"
"Quite fine, though I must say I'm all the better now," he replied, looking at Galinda. The blonde blushed slightly, as was appropriate, and giggled.
Elphaba suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She smiled instead, though she was certain the result was more of a grimace. "How wonderful. Well, if you two will excuse me I'll just be--."
"Won't you be joining us this evening?" Fiyero asked, turning his head to side slightly.
"Oh yes, Elphie, do come along!" Galinda said excitedly.
Elphaba's smile turned genuine at Galinda's enthusiasm. "As—fun—as that sounds, I must decline."
Elphaba took pleasure in the fact that Galinda frowned.
"If you insist," Fiyero said. Elphaba nodded. "Shall we go then, darling?" he asked, turning towards Galinda.
Galinda nodded, but surprised Elphaba by running quickly running forward and placing a light kiss on Elphaba's cheek. "Thank you again, Elphie," she whispered into the green woman's ear.
Elphaba wasn't sure if she responded. Only aware of the fact that her cheek seemed to be a blaze with the softness that had been Galinda's lips. She watched, through her haze, as Galinda and Fiyero walked away. Elphaba had never been an emotional person. But she was so overcome by the emotion she was feeling now, that she was certain she could possibly faint.
And then her glee was struck down as Fiyero reached out and took hold of Galinda's hand, just before the couple disappeared from sight. The warm feeling that Elphaba had just previously felt was quickly replaced with a distinct cold and a sense of dislike bubbled up inside her.
It wasn't that she disliked Fiyero. Rather, she found his company to be enjoyable and his conversation stimulating. That is, as long as he was away from Galinda. For when the three of them were together, Elphaba couldn't help but be overcome with jealousy, a fact she hated. She could see nothing but the way Galinda smiled at Fiyero, hear nothing but Galinda's girlish laugh at Fiyero's comments and feel nothing but the hope that someday she could be the one holding Galinda's hand.
But it was not meant to be, Elphaba knew. She would never be able to speak of the thoughts she harbored for Galinda. She would never be allowed to make her feelings known. Feelings she so hated and cherished at the same time.
She would never be allowed to have Galinda. She was allowed her quiet, stolen glances. Her book. And nothing more.
Fiyero would be the one who could reach out to Galinda at the end of the day and clasp her hand. He was allowed the admiring gazes of Galinda. He was allowed her love and affection. Her admiration. And everything else.
It was a disconcerting fact that Elphaba had come to slowly accept.
She knew how it was and how it would always be:
Fiyero--he could be that boy. But Elphaba—she would never be that girl.
With a sigh, Elphaba righted her shoulders and began to walk back to her dorm.
She had reading to do.
Fin