Can You Love Me Again?

by Syaoran837

"Demon...what have you done to him...what have you done to my family?" Yukio's words pierced through Rin, harming him more than his bullets. Rin collapsed to his knees, hands griping his head. Shock covered his face as pangs of guilt shot through him, or maybe it was Yukio's bullets, but at this point they felt the same.

Brotherly love is stonk in this.

Song I based this off was John Newman- Love Me Again.

I do not own Blue Exorcist, Katou Kazue does. Enjoy!

'This is thoughts'

---

The tantalizing aroma of dinner filled the kitchen. Rin watched the mixture of chopped onions, carrots, cabbage, and ginger sizzle in a large, deep skillet. Poking the ingredients every once in while, Rin smiled, satisfied with the softness of the cabbage. He reached behind him to grab the pile of thinly sliced pork loin, hands grasping nothing but air. Confused, Rin turned to see the cutting board where the meat was, being held in his father's hands.

"Oii, I'm trying to cook dinner here." Rin stated, annoyance staining his voice. Putting his free hand out, he waited for the cutting board to be placed in his hand. After a few moments, Rin glared at the gray haired man, thoroughly unamused. Lunging for the meat, Rin was suppressed by his old man; Raising the pork out of Rin's reach, Fujimoto's brown eyes sparked mischievously behind old circular glasses.

"Heard you wanted to learn the guitar, what brought you to take an interest in music? Was it some girl?" Fujimoto teased, thwarting Rin's attempts to get the meat back.

"No!" Rin finally grabbed the cutting board out of his dad's hands.

"Oh!? Really? So what's the story?" Fujimoto leaned down to his son, awaiting an answer.

Carefully placing the pork in the skillet, he responded. "Some poor guy was getting beat to a pulp; I couldn't just walk by and do nothing. So I, um...taught the thug a lesson, and to thank me, he showed me the basics of how to play the guitar."

Studying the cooking pork, Rin nodded in approval, snatching away the pre-boiled Chinese wheat noodles before his dad could get them. Pouring the noodles on top of the mixture of meat and vegetables, Rin covered the top of the skillet.

Fujimoto placed a hand on his forehead, running his fingers through the thin gray stands of his hair, he sighed loudly. "Rin, what am I going to do about you? You are always getting into fights. It is good to see you take an interest in something other than cooking, but at least put some effort into the other aspects of life."

"Yeah, yeah whatever, 'father'." Rin mumbled, removing the skillet's cover, inspecting the food, then poured a shoyu based sauce into the skillet. Grabbing the handle, Rin tossed the noodles, trying to mix everything evenly. Reaching for the nob to turn the red and orange flame of the burner down, Rin suddenly pulled his hand back as the flames swelled, turning aqua. Muffled choking resounded from behind him, and turning in dismay, Rin's azure eyes took in the frightening scene before him.

Fujimoto was bent over, hands on his head, face contorting in pain as blood trickled out of his eyes and mouth. A low, insane cackle escaped his lips, growing louder as he slowly stood up. Aqua blue flame erupted out of nowhere, engulfing everything. His finger nails had become sharp, long, and black. Ears had become elongated and pointed. He threw his head back, letting out a long, deep, psychopathic laugh, which exposed sharp teeth.

"PAPA'S BACK!" Fujimoto roared in a satanic voice. Rin's vision went blue as his face was cupped gently by his Satan-possessed father. "WHAT IS THE MATTER, SON? PAPA IS HERE TO HELP HIS POOR BABY BE A DEMON."

"Demon...no...I'm human not a demon." Rin smacked the hand away, glaring hatefully at his biological father.

"WHY PUSH YOUR HEIRITAGE AWAY? YOU ARE NO LONGER HUMAN, YOU NEVER WERE. YOU ARE DEMON, MY SON. LOOK FOR YOURSELF."

Rin glanced down at his long, clawed, hands-deep red blood dripped off them. Aqua blue flame incased him, burning everything in sight. He looked in horror at the massive pile of torn, bloody, burning, human bodies he was currently standing on.

'No...NO'

His long pointed ears picked up the sound of a gun loading amidst the sounds of burning flesh and screams of pain. Turning his head slightly toward the sound, the two flaming horns flowed with the movement. His red pupils covered aqua iris as he stared in shock at the source of the sound. Yukio, his younger twin brother, pointed his silver pistols at Rin. Turquoise eyes glazed over as tears formed at their edges, slowly trickling down his cheeks. Hurt clearly written on his face, his dark brown bangs covered his thick rimmed glasses, shielding his eyes from sight. Guns at the ready, he mustered up the courage to face his older brother.

"Why?" Yukio muttered. WHY?!" Yukio screamed at Rin, tears running freely down his face. Yukio jerked his head up, pain and sorrow dancing in his eyes as he glared at Rin. "HE WAS OUR DAD! HE LOVED US AND YOU...YOU KILLED HIM!"

Rin felt the guilt of his father's death rip through him again. He knew it was his fault that his dad died. If only he didn't yell at him that one day, telling his old man that he didn't care for him and he was only playing father. Maybe his biological father, Satan, would never have tried to take over the old man. Maybe they would still be living peacefully in the old mission, no demon powers, human, with family. But his dad did die and his demon powers had taken over; he was human no longer. Rin had to live every day with the sins of being a demon.

"And now Rin is gone..." Yukio trailed off as he tried to hold back the flood of tears that overwhelmed his eyes,forcing the sobs of pain down his throat. "Rin... my only brother...is gone..."

Rin opened his mouth to protest; long, sharp canines gleamed in the flickering light of the aqua fire.

"Demon...what have you done to him...what have you done to my family?" Yukio cut Rin off.

"Yukio, I'm here, it is me, Rin, your brother!" Rin cried out.

Yukio's pained stare seemed to bore straight through Rin. "You are no brother of mine," He aimed his silver guns at Rin. "Demon." He shot two holy water covered silver bullets at the demon that was no longer someone Yukio recognized as family.

Yukio's words pierced through Rin, harming him more than his bullets. Rin collapsed to his knees, hands griping his head. Shock covered his face as pangs of guilt shot through him, or maybe it was Yukio's bullets, but at this point they felt the same.

'I did this...I am a demon...I deserve this...I am a demon...I am a demon.'

Rin jolted awake. His dark blue hair was tangled and matted from tossing and turning in his sleep. The sheets of his bed were tangled in between his limbs and partly falling off the bed. His long, slender, black tail was curled up, tufted tip flicking back and forth.

Wiping the cold sweat that beaded his forehead, and burying his face in the crook of his elbow, he thought. 'It was only a dream... Yukio doesn't think of me that way...right?' Images of the dream flashed before his closed eyes; Yukio pointing his guns at him and calling him a demon. 'He...still thinks of me as human, right…?'

Rin looked over at his sleeping younger twin brother. His eyes darted behind closed eyelids, his chest slowly rose and fell with every breath he took. He looked so calm and fragile, how could Rin's little brother harm him?

Rin recalled a memory from when they were younger, probably around the age of seven. Some bullies were picking on poor little glasses boy-Punching, kicking, knocking his glasses to the ground. Rin showed up out of nowhere and beat up the bullies. After the said bullies ran away in fear, Rin comforted his crying little brother. Picking up the busted glasses and putting them on Yukio, he hugged him. Yukio cried on his shoulder as Rin said comforting words. "Don't worry about those guys, I will take care of them for you." Pulling away to look at his snot faced baby brother. "You said you wanted to be a doctor, right?" Yukio could only nod in agreement as he tried to wipe the endless snot on his sleeve. "Wow! You must be really smart! I'm sure you can do it!" Rin said, smiling widely.

Yukio has always come to Rin, his big brother for protection, a shoulder to cry on; he has always trusted Rin. Rin has always stood up for his baby brother, he would never hurt him or a family member. But he had hurt a family member, he killed his dad; it may not have been direct, but Rin was the cause for his old man's death.

Again Rin recalled a memory, this time not a pleasant one. Yukio was staring blankly at his father's grave. Tears silently flowed down from lost eyes, his face pulled back in sadness, as he tried to control the uncontrollable pain of losing his dad. Rin could only watch from afar, as he saw his younger twin slowly lose his composer. Fresh waves of guilt stabbed him, throwing Rin on another emotional rollercoaster. 'Why did I have to be part demon...this is all my fault...If only...If only...'

After his dad's death, something felt off to Rin, like Yukio was trying to hide more things from him- the family kept the biggest secret that changed his life from him, what else could they be hiding? Yukio's quite nature to keep things hidden also nagged at Rin's brain. When was the last time his younger brother fully voiced his concerns and leaned on him like the big brother he should be; not since his dad's death.

Feeling the guilt rush through his veins again, he decided he needed to cool off, and what better place than the roof? He slowly moved his sheets off his body, trying not to be too loud or make sudden movements; Yukio was not always the best brother if woken up in the middle of the night. Kuro, who was sleeping curled up in a ball next to Rin's pillow, cracked open a green eye.

'Where are you going?' The black sith cat asked telepathically. Slowly getting up from his sleeping position, stretching out his white paws as his back curved inward, his two tails reaching as far as they could upward.

"Out to get some air." Rin whispered, trying not to wake the sleeping brother.

'Really? Can I come?' Kuro looked at Rin pleadingly.

Rin nodded and slowly crept across the wooden floor toward the door. Opening the door as quietly as possible, he exited the room with Kuro, praying internally that his younger twin brother did not wake up.

A few moments after Rin had closed the door, Yukio peaked through a half closed turquoise eye at the empty bed across the room from him. He had woken up to find his older brother tossing and turning, tail thumping loudly against the mattress as he slept. Slightly alarmed, Yukio was about to get up and wake the older, but stopped when he noticed that the elder had awoken on his own. It was hard for him to tell exactly, but Rin looked truly hurt and lost as he lay in the bed opposite the younger.

Hearing Rin quietly move about and talk with Kuro, Yukio pretended to still be asleep. Through his blurred vision the younger twin could still tell that something was eating away at the older, and that a quick trip to the roof would not solve his problems.

Yukio could always hear his students tell Rin to be more open and trusting with them, to rely on them in times of need; why couldn't Rin talk to Yukio, his own flesh and blood, about what was bothering him, instead of keeping it bottled up inside? Did he not tell Rin he would help him through the hard times, to protect him? Getting up, he put on his thick rimmed glasses and proceeded to follow his stupid older twin brother.

~~~~~(O_o)~~~~~

Rin and Kuro walked down the deserted halls of the old boy's dormitory as they made their way to the roof. They walked past door afterdoor until Rin paused at a random door that was slightly ajar. Something caught his eye and his curiosity got the better of him. Popping his head inside to take a quick look, he was surprised to see an old wooden guitar leaning against the far wall. Going closer to inspect it, he found it was still in good condition, aside from a thick layer of dust and a few nicks here and there. Brushing off the dust, Rin strummed the cords, a bit surprised that it was a little out of tune but overall sounded fine.

'Rin, you can play the guitar?' Kuro stared curiously at the wooden instrument.

"A bit, some guy a few years back taught me the basics for saving his life from a thug." Rin said sheepishly.

'I want to hear you play it!' Kuro said excitedly, jumping around, bringing some of the dust that covered the floor into the air.

"Sure!" Rin slung the instrument over his shoulder as he walked out of the room toward the roof.

~~~~~(o_O)~~~~~

Rin plucked at each cord individually, making sure each sound that emanated was the one he wanted. After tuning the instrument to the best of his ability, he leaned back onto the slanted, shingle coved roof. He looked up at the black night sky; the slight twinkle of the few stars that poked through the black canvass of the night seemed to welcome Rin. The crescent moon was starting its slow decent through the dark sky; its light provided an unexpected warmth, drenching the scenery around him in a comforting glow. For a few moments he was at peace before the nagging guilt at the back of his mind resurfaced. Sighing loudly, he positioned the guitar in his arms; his left hand curled under the neck, fingers resting a hair above the strings. Rin slowly strummed a few cords, getting used to the feeling of wire beneath his fingertips. Kuro gazed intensely at the instrument, waiting for Rin to play it.

Yukio slowly crawled onto the roof. Unaware that his younger sibling had joined him on the roof, Rin leisurely strummed the guitar to an unknown rhythm. Rin was not the best singer but was decent; his voice didn't want to make you rip out your bleeding ear drums.

Rin sang softly, but still loud enough for Yukio to hear.

"Know I've done wrong, Left your heart torn, Is that what devils do?"

Closing his azure blue eyes, memories of his happy family life as a kid appeared before him: however, they were short lived because aqua blue fames lapped at the happy memories, burning them as if they never existed.

"Took you so low, Where only fools go, I shook the angel in you."

Images of Yukio saddened and depressed crossed his mind. Vivid images of his brother weeping over their dead father burned into his memory.

"Now I'm rising from the ground, Rising up to you."

The emotions of a few months past where he promised to live his life for his dead father ripped through him again.

"Filled with all the strength I found, There's nothing I can't do."

The memory where he declared he will become the paladin and kill Satan with the demonic power he was born with floated into him. He paused for a second, taking a deep breath. With uncertainty in his voice, he sang.

"I need to know now, know now, Can you love me again? I need to know now, know now, Can you love me again?"

The dream resurfaced in his mind, sending floods of guilt and doubt through him. Yukio watched from a far, listening to the lyrics his brother sang, starting to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Rin was afraid that he hated him and blamed him for everything. He wanted to protect his older brother, and in no way did he blame him. Singing louder, Rin's tail swung to the beat.

"It's unforgivable, I stole and burnt your soul, Is that what demons do?"

Images of Yukio losing respect, trust, most of his time and effort because Rin was a demon, clawed at his brain.

"They rule the worst of me, Destroy everything, They bring down angels like you."

Bursts of uncontrollable aqua blue flame danced in his mind, burning his happiness away.

"Now I'm rising from the ground, Rising up to you, Filled with all the strength I've found, There's nothing I can't do."

He sung again, trying to get his efforts across to the world, though who would believe him, he was demon, after all.

"I need to know now, know now, Can you love me again? I need to know now, know now, Can you love me again?"

Again, images of Yukio yelling at him and calling Rin a monster, a demon, rushed to him. All he wanted was for Yukio to not hate him, to understand him.

"I told you once I can't do this again, do this again, oh, no I told you once I can't do this again, do this again, oh, no."

Rin's voice cracked as pictures of Yukio dying because of Rin's flames carved its way into his soul. He would probably lose all sanity if his last family member was taken away from him.

"I need to know now, know now, Can you love me again? I need to know now, know now."

Slowing down the song, Rin opened his azure blue eyes up toward the night sky.

"Oh, oh~~~~ Can you love me again?"

He sadly sang, letting the last few notes hover in the night air.

"Yukio can you love me again?" Rin pleaded to his younger brother, a pained expression clung to his face. Rin was still unaware that Yukio was in fact listening. The younger of the twins casually walked up next to the older and sat down, surprising the elder.

Yukio softly gazed at his older brother."Nii-san, it's okay."

Tears threatened to form at Rin's eyes, fighting them back, he exclaimed, his voice still cracking a bit. "Four-eyes, what are you talking about… I know it's fine."

Yukio still looked at his brother, knowing full well it was not 'fine'. Not quite knowing what to do, an idea sprouted in is brain; for all the years Rin was Yukio's rock to lean on, it was now time to pay him back and become the rock for Rin to lean on.

Yukio gently grabbed his older brother and pulled him into a warm hug. This unexpected jester pushed Rin over the edge. Tears streamed down his face, his shoulders shook violently as he fought back the tremors of guilt that weighed down heavy on his heart. When was the last time Rin cried in front of his younger brother, he couldn't recall if there was ever a time.

"Yukio, don't hate me...please believe me... I didn't mean for things to turn out this way...please believe me." Rin sobbed into Yukio's shoulder.

The younger twin pulled his older closer to him, almost as if he let go he would disappear from him.

"Nii-san, I would never hate you. Even if you lost control and killed everyone we knew, I would not hate you. I might be disappointed in myself for not being able to help you keep control, and I might hate the demonic power that Satan cursed you with. But I would never hate you, Nii-san. You are my older brother...how could I hate family? I might think you are stupid and make dumb decisions, but I would never hate you for that." Yukio paused to take a breath as Rin cried harder into his shoulder, tail wrapping around both of them, as if it was hugging as well.

"Nii-san, you are not alone, I share the same blood as you, don't I? Just because you inherited all the demonic power doesn't mean you are the only son of Satan, I am just as much his son as you are. I promised myself that I would protect you, shelter you from the hate of this world. But I cannot protect you from the demons that hide inside, unless you open up to me, rely on me. Nii-san, I want to do everything in my power to protect you, but I cannot do anything if you don't let me share this sin with you."

Rin dug his fingers in the back of Yukio's shirt, gripping it like it was his life line, and at the moment it might as well been. The Twins sat there in each other's embrace, as the crescent moon slowly sank in the night sky. Kuro looked at the two, the eldest crying and clinging onto the younger who was trying to comfort him.

After a while, Rin's sobs subsided, but he still clung to Yukio as if his life depended on it. Rin finally understood that he was not the only one who had to bear the burden of being Satan's son, and all the painful, unwanted side effects. Yukio understood that it was not Rin's fault the way things turned out, in fact, Yukio blamed himself more than anyone. If only he could have helped protect his older brother. However, the past is in the past and all you can do is move forward in hopes of making a better life. Younger twin will protect the older, and the older will protect the younger. Just like brothers should, they will look after each other.

"Nii-san, I love you."

---

Brotherly love :3

Well I would like to thank you for reading this.

I would also like to thank DemonessOfDepartingSorrows for beta reading this. She really helped me understand Yukio better, along with correcting some spelling and grammatical issues. Over all she is boss!

I feel very accomplished about finishing this one shot, so I will now go make some pork yakisoba, the same thing Rin was cooking at the beginning. (Shoyu is soy sauce)

The Okuruma twins are my favorite set of brothers ever! I just had to write a story about their brotherly love for each other; how deep, dark, guilt ridden, and complicated their relationship really is.

If you want you can leave a review, I would like to hear your option's on this story.

Thank You

Syao