Death Stopped For Me
By: Olivia
"Truth sits upon the lips of dying men."-Matthew Arnold
My mind is lying to my body. It says it is not letting my blood pour out of a gunshot wound to my abdomen. No blood is seeping into my clothes, staining my white blouse red. My body is merely tired. It has been working to hard on too many cases for the past six years. That is why I have slumped unto the floor. My body and mind are not in shock. I just need to rest.
My eyes are becoming cloudy. I am dimly aware of Ritter pressing his hand to my wound as if by some great miracle he could keep my blood from spilling out. I have never seen so much blood coming out of me before.
Ritter has left. I assume he has gone to get help. He'd better hurry. I don't think I have much time left.
For some reason, I can't even work up enough energy to be mad at him for shooting me. Friendly fire-that's what they call it in war. I'm here to say there isn't anything friendly about it. I'm partnered with Ritter for a couple of days and he shoots me by accident! I've been partnered with Mulder for six years and he's never shot me by accident!
Mulder! My mind screams his name. I have to hold on.
The world goes black. I panic. I am screaming Mulder's name. If only I could get my lips to move. I try to form his name upon my lips but nothing comes out.
Suddenly, I am filled with righteous indignation. This can't be my end. After all I've seen and done with the X-Files to end like this is absurd. Of all the times I could have or almost did die and here a fellow agent shoots me. What kind of death is that? At least, I'll make it into the X-Files for the third time, breaking my own record. Mulder will be so heart-broken. Mulder.
Photographs of my life flash into my head. Pictures of childhood, family, friends, places, school, medical school, the FBI, Mulder.
My thoughts linger on Mulder-on my one regret. I never told him that I loved him. I never told him that he was important in my life. I always keep him at arms' length, never letting him inside. I never told him that he makes me a whole person too. I want to scream at life for ripping us apart. "Those whom God has joined let no man pull asunder."
Out of the darkness I see a flame. I am drawn to it like a moth. Suddenly I hear Fellig whispering to me. I feel him closing my eyes. He is asking me to look away. It is beautiful, but I look away. I need to go back. There are too many things I have left undone; to many things I have left unsaid. I will not leave Mulder here on this earth to blame himself for my death, which he could in no way have prevented.
Ritter has arrived with the paramedics. They are frantically trying to say my life. I already know I have been "saved." I loll my head trying to look at the crowd of people. I can't see him. I need him here. Maybe they haven't notified him yet.
Distantly, I here the paramedics yelling at each other confusedly. Amid apology and prayer, Ritter bends his ear to my lips trying to catch, what he assumes, are my last words to be spoken upon this earth.
I only have the energy to get out one word, but I repeat my prayer over and over.
Ritter understands my message if not my meaning. "He's on his way, Dana,...I mean Scully. Just hold on," he stammers.
I know all that I need to. I close my eyes and relax letting the paramedics hoist me up onto the stretcher and wheel me into the awaiting ambulance. I will see Mulder soon.
By: Olivia
"Truth sits upon the lips of dying men."-Matthew Arnold
My mind is lying to my body. It says it is not letting my blood pour out of a gunshot wound to my abdomen. No blood is seeping into my clothes, staining my white blouse red. My body is merely tired. It has been working to hard on too many cases for the past six years. That is why I have slumped unto the floor. My body and mind are not in shock. I just need to rest.
My eyes are becoming cloudy. I am dimly aware of Ritter pressing his hand to my wound as if by some great miracle he could keep my blood from spilling out. I have never seen so much blood coming out of me before.
Ritter has left. I assume he has gone to get help. He'd better hurry. I don't think I have much time left.
For some reason, I can't even work up enough energy to be mad at him for shooting me. Friendly fire-that's what they call it in war. I'm here to say there isn't anything friendly about it. I'm partnered with Ritter for a couple of days and he shoots me by accident! I've been partnered with Mulder for six years and he's never shot me by accident!
Mulder! My mind screams his name. I have to hold on.
The world goes black. I panic. I am screaming Mulder's name. If only I could get my lips to move. I try to form his name upon my lips but nothing comes out.
Suddenly, I am filled with righteous indignation. This can't be my end. After all I've seen and done with the X-Files to end like this is absurd. Of all the times I could have or almost did die and here a fellow agent shoots me. What kind of death is that? At least, I'll make it into the X-Files for the third time, breaking my own record. Mulder will be so heart-broken. Mulder.
Photographs of my life flash into my head. Pictures of childhood, family, friends, places, school, medical school, the FBI, Mulder.
My thoughts linger on Mulder-on my one regret. I never told him that I loved him. I never told him that he was important in my life. I always keep him at arms' length, never letting him inside. I never told him that he makes me a whole person too. I want to scream at life for ripping us apart. "Those whom God has joined let no man pull asunder."
Out of the darkness I see a flame. I am drawn to it like a moth. Suddenly I hear Fellig whispering to me. I feel him closing my eyes. He is asking me to look away. It is beautiful, but I look away. I need to go back. There are too many things I have left undone; to many things I have left unsaid. I will not leave Mulder here on this earth to blame himself for my death, which he could in no way have prevented.
Ritter has arrived with the paramedics. They are frantically trying to say my life. I already know I have been "saved." I loll my head trying to look at the crowd of people. I can't see him. I need him here. Maybe they haven't notified him yet.
Distantly, I here the paramedics yelling at each other confusedly. Amid apology and prayer, Ritter bends his ear to my lips trying to catch, what he assumes, are my last words to be spoken upon this earth.
I only have the energy to get out one word, but I repeat my prayer over and over.
Ritter understands my message if not my meaning. "He's on his way, Dana,...I mean Scully. Just hold on," he stammers.
I know all that I need to. I close my eyes and relax letting the paramedics hoist me up onto the stretcher and wheel me into the awaiting ambulance. I will see Mulder soon.