A/N: This is another old one I just got back from a friend. Totally depressing. Um, anyways, my head was... I don't know... totally sad when I wrote this, I guess... I don't remember, honestly. *scratches back of head and grins* Ehehheh... anyways, hope its okay. Review please!
Never Leaves
He was sitting at a window, watching the snow fall in the streets and cling to whatever it touched. People were playing out there, bundled in coats. They ran through drifts and tossed snowballs and laughed. But he only sat at his window, wrapped in a white haiori and watched. How dare they be so happy? On this day? THIS day? This anniversary for the darkest stain in his blood-splattered life? SHE was still unconscious, yet these people had the nerve to laugh and talk.
"You should go visit her." the voice as well as the suggestion surprised him. He turned and stared at the woman with half-closed teal eyes.
"She won't want to see me. Not after what I've done." he whispered, closing his eyes further, so there's only a blue-green slit.
"You think she won't forgive you?" this time, her voice was pained. The blonde looked out the window, taking a shuddering breath. "Taicho... she needs to see you."
"No she doesn't. She'll hate me – if she doesn't already. I don't want to hurt her anymore..." he growls, but it turns into a murmur. "It's better if I just leave her alone."
Whatever he'd been expecting, it certainly wasn't his vice-captain jerking him out of his chair by the tip of his spiky white hair. "NO! Don't say that! Don't ever say that!" she screams at him. Tears have burst from her blue eyes, the first since this date exactly a year ago. The captain stared at his usually bubbly and happy luitenent in shock.
"It's better if I-"
He was slammed back, into the wall. Anyone else and the room would have been coated in ice, but he was too surprised to do anything other than gape at the busty woman. "It's NOT better! You think she wants to be left alone? Without you? With nothing but memories..." she chokes, sobbing. "Of persimmons... and warmth on snowy days... and closed eyes that show so... so..." she dropepd Hitsugaya and fell to her knees, bawling.
"Ma... Matsumoto?" the white-haired captain said awkwardly, patting her pretty blonde hair. The room fell silent, except for the huge breasted blonde's crying. Finally, the tears faded, until just one clung to her long eyelashes.
"Please... please taicho... don't leave her."
Hitsugaya blinked slowly. "...fine, Matsumoto..." he agreed, quiet and gentle for such a stubborn, cold boy. "... Thank you."
He gave her an awkward, quick, confused, one-armed hug and then flash-stepped out of the room.
FF
It was around midnight now. Matsumoto sat on the couch, a bottle in her hand... but it was full. She had yet to drink away the stabbing pain in her soul, which was ironic, because that's all she was – a soul.
The door behind her slid open, but it wasn't her taicho that entered. Rangiku Matsumoto said nothing as the newcomer came to stand beside her.
"I thought you'd be here." he said, in his quiet voice.
"What do you want, Kira?" she snapped.
His answer was just as gentle, and she felt angry. "To see if you're okay. Hisagi was worried."
"I'm not. So go away, or do you have something to make the hole in my chest go away?"
"There's nothing I can do Ran. I-"
"DON'T CALL ME THAT." she hissed. Kira blinked and backtracked.
"There isn't anything I can do, Matsumoto. You know I'm right. I've got the same problem." he sighed. "He always left nothing behind."
"Don't talk like you knew him!" she yelled bitterly. "I knew him! I'm the one who loved him!I'm the one he... I loved him!" she was fighting tears and failing.
"I know." Kira mumbled, quite angrily. He knew Rangiku had loved Gin. He also knew that Gin was his captain. That man... he did so much for him. He didn't even notice, really, how much Kira was in awe. He said nothing of his thoughts to his grief-stricken friend, but he could feel the tiny surge of jealousy surge into him.
Matsumoto said nothing. Kira went to sit beside her, staring at the floor with one eye, the other hidden behind bangs.
"Why did you come here?" she whispered, all trace of anger replaced with sadness, and bitterness.
"I don't know. Maybe to make sure you weren't doing something stupid."
"Did you know it was for me?" Kira looked up, puzzled, not knowing what the sober blonde was referring to. It wasn't until she continued, after a long pause, that he understood. "I killed him. He did... he did all that for me. It's my fault." The anger once again building as she formulated words, intensifying with ever words that escaped her desperate lips. She took a calming breath, but it had the opposite effect on her and fueled her anger more, like gasoline on a lit match. "I KILLED GIN!" she screamed, and the bottle went crashing to the floor. Kira grabbed her wrist as she went to chuck the glasses sitting on the table.
"No! No you didn't!" he told her, scared of the ferocity on her face.
"Let me go, Kira! Stop it! St... stop... ple..." she never finished the please. All fight had left her. Her soul was shattered, her voice shaky. It came back stronger, and angrier. "I HATE HIM! I hate what he did!"
Kira shyly pulled her close so she was facing him. "No you don't." he said simply. Matsumoto stared at him, tears cutting through her cheeks. Her face, twisted in pain and anger, suddenly cleared. The only look on it is sadness, echoing through her sky blue eyes.
"I know."
"And I know too." he murmured, sure that anything he said right now other than that would do her no good. He was in the same situation as her – perhaps not as deep into the void of pain and fear and longing. He had no idea what to do to make her feel better.
So he didn't. They sat there in silence as fireworks shot into view and exploded.