The truth of the matter is that being with you was the only time I have ever been happy. My whole life has been a joke. I prided myself on taking joy in others' misery. Well, it finally backfired.
"Well maybe that's the problem."
The words rung in his ears, the sting a constant in his heart. He knew just how fragile he'd always been even if his exterior never showed it, but those words in response to a confession of love were not what he expected, not from Elena Gilbert. She had a heart of pure gold and he was always the one to ease her through her troubles, help her smooth out the bumps that were caused in her life. What was he to do when she'd caused the one bump he hadn't expected from her? The one that caused a crack in his ice coated heart.
He'd found his way back to the boarding house in a numbed stupor, her words has sliced him like a knife and yet he'd managed to throw back his own heavily weighted words before he left in a confident stride, the last thing he would give the source of his current suffering was the satisfaction of watching him crumble before her eyes. No. He would straighten up and walk away as if her words had held no affect on him. But this right here, this was his moment to fall apart. The vacant house did not hold enough alcohol to assist him in pulling his impenetrable shell back into position, it was simply the perfect place to allow it to slip completely, leaving his scars and freshly made wounds bare until he hid himself behind his old facade and made his way to the local watering hole where there was always a never ending supply for him to drown his sorrows in.
A stumble over the edge of an upturned rug left him with his palm pressed against the wood of the mantle place, staring into the empty hallow of the fire. He lifted the crystalized glass to his perfectly formed mouth and allowed the comforting liquid to pour past his lips and sooth itself down his throat. The first powerless shot of his many remedies that were rendered useless to these deep rooted emotions. His mind raced as he stared at nothing that lay before him, the image set in his eyes was of a dark angel that owned every thought that passed through his head. This time was different though, the usual tint of sheer joy that the very visual of her brought forward was no longer present, it was replaced with a feeling that could only be described as alike to the twisting of a knife in the pit of your stomach.
He felt the wood beneath his grasp begin to crumble as he became overwhelmed with his own inner turmoil and tears flooded over his heavy lids. In a fit of rage between himself and the girl who had reduced him to this, he flung the delicate glass at the opposing wall and watched it shatter into one million pieces, that had become his signature move over the last few months, breaking the crystal.
As the tears rolled their path across his cheek and he stood there, defeated, his knees about to give way beneath the burden he was bearing, he heard an angelic tone cross the vast emptiness of the room. "Damon?" His head shot up to identify who the voice belonged to although he would have been able to pick that voice out in a screaming crowd. He was stood before her with despair written across his face and he couldn't mask it fast enough to hide it from her forever inspecting gaze. He couldn't put a name to the emotion he seen write itself across her face, it was a twinge of pain mixed with something he'd seen displayed on her soft features multiple times and yet to this day he had never taken the time to label it.
After he'd allowed the shock to simmer down he done the best job possible in his current state to add a hardened edge to his features as he straightened his back and took a few deliberate steps towards her. "What do you want, Elena? Haven't you and your sneaking around caused enough trouble for one night?" A slight grimace presented itself upon her lips as she dropped her gaze momentarily to murmur in a defeated tone. "Damon, I didn't mean that. You know I didn't. You were just being so-" She found herself at a loss for words, how could she phrase it correctly without leaving yet another mark on him? She wanted to say that his feelings scared her. The depth of them. The immensity. Her urge to return them freely, to throw every other factor of their situation out the window and let it simply be the two of them. The thought was selfish, to say the least. Both on Damon and everyone else effected. It was something she considered her best trait and yet it caused such inner conflict at times; her need to take care of everyone at the same time, cause no harm and heal any that she did. Someone was bound to get hurt along the way and this time it had been Damon. She knew the prying ears of the other Salvatore would be finely tuned in when Damon had blurted out that infamous declaration and she reacted how she felt fitting to the circumstances they were under; why did he have to say it there? Of all places!
She shook her head of the constant ramblings she was throwing back and forth with herself and sought out the mesmerizing pools of blue that she so often got caught in. "You took me by surprise." The scoff that pushed itself past his lips stunned her briefly, although she shouldn't have expected anything less from him with the state that he was in; she could practically see the walls around him growing higher and higher by the second. "I get it, Elena. It's Stefan, it's always going to be Stefan." With a seemingly droll roll of his eyes he took a step to make his way around her, but he found himself falling short of his step at her following words. "Not anymore." He turned to meet her sporting a startled expression, a doe eyed girl caught in the headlights. She was scared, the worst kind of fear a person can feel, it was the terror of her own thoughts and words that had set into her. That was the second time tonight she'd allowed a slip and her lips began open and close like a fish out of water, desperately pleading for them to form words, but nothing came of them. "What do you mean by that?" He questioned while she still stood before him, floundering in the mess she'd now flung herself into. "I didn't-" She gave a shake of her head, her chocolate brown eyes stayed trained to the floor in refusal to meet his own. "What do you mean, Elena?" For the briefest moment his mind raced to that faithful night in her bedroom after she had dragged him from the pits of wolf infested city and she refused to give him a straight out answer as to why. That night he had pushed her, so that was exactly what he repeated.
With his demanding words still lingering in the air he took a step forward to give him the advantage of towering over her, leaving her feeling trapped. Her eyes flickered up to meet his own and she allowed her stare to linger for the length of a couple dozen of heartbeats, forcing herself to find that comfort that only looking into the depths of his soul brought, although now that was tainted with his forceful ways and hurt, she could still find that place within him with just a single glance and even in this moment as he attempted to uphold his unwavering stance, he felt his heart thawing under that spell casting hold of hers and she could see the effect she was having on him with such a simple thing, drawing confidence in her words from that. "Not anymore, Damon. Stefan is in my past, and my future is-" She once again cut off her sentence before its end and lifted her hand to graze her fingertips along the defined line of his jaw, taking in an unsteady breath as she awaited his reaction. She spotted that familiar look in his eyes, that look that was so specifically hers, it was practically written in his eyes; I am yours. With his silence as an added sign, with a shaky exterior urged on by a sturdy decision behind it, she leaned herself against his body for support as her lips met his in a sugar tinted kiss that she slowly melted into.
How did he feel? He didn't have the slightest clue. Only a moment ago he was in control of this situation, he had been shadowing over her in a threatening manner, now he stood before her, a victim to whatever course of action she chose to take. And this was what she had decided, she had decided to take advantage of how he stood in a stupor before her and molded her own lips to his, his eyes sliding shut at the contact as his exterior attempted to connect to the whizz of thoughts flying about in his mind. This was what she turned him to, a man who could be broken down to pure putty in her hands at a simple, if that's what you could consider this gesture, kiss. No. You know what? He wasn't going to allow that, if she was so sure of this step, he was going to make it worthwhile. He took her face in his hands with his usual firm hold and yet he took on something he'd never felt the need to with anybody else, a gentleness to the secure fitting to her rounded cheeks. The way his hands molded to her face were not enough to cause her any physical harm, though there was an instinct that was brought on only by the precious thing before him that feared a different level of hurt, as if if he were to give off the wrong impression in his manner, he would frighten her, drive her away. She uprooted that human side of him. It wasn't even that simple, she didn't just uncover it, she had become it. She represented everything weak and strong about him, he was not lost with her presense, she was what kept him grounded yet drove him to complete insanity at the thought of rejection. He loved blindlessly and recklessy; as did she. Twin flames, so completely fitted to one another that an onlooker would only identify with the blaze in their relationship, whether they seen the fiery passion in a form of anger or lust was unique to every specific person, of course. But what they would never see was the emotion underlying it. So atuned to one another, yet their actions were unpredictable to the other.
With those raw emotions bubbling to the surface and fueling him, he allowed the full force of his affections to flow into the movement of his lips upon hers, forming over her own plump lips in a dominating kiss, only after a few moments he found the lips beneath his responding with the same enthusiasm he was putting in and that only added to the spark between them. His thumbs made a repeated path along her cheekbones, although the soothing stroke seemed out of place in such a heightened moment, it brought just the touch Elena felt was needed to perfect the moment. He wasn't done with her yet, he vowed to himself that this would not be something she could brush under the rug, it would not be something she would want to dismiss, this would be the head spinning experience any woman would gush to their friends about, and the fact that only she would experience something on this emotional level with him would only deepen the attachment to it. His tongue sought entry to her mouth which was quickly answered with granted entry, and he allowed himself to explore the new area, the taste that was so Elena lingering deliciously on his tastebuds, her own tongue attempting to make its match against him for dominance, though he was given the advantage of surprise with his feverish assault on her mouth, which she welcomed so selfishly.
It didn't take long for Damon to realize she was becoming breathless, just like the delicate little human she was, he pulled himself back from her but not before a few dwelling turns of his lips left an impact upon her. She was still resting against his chest for the support, her eyes remaning shielded behind hooded lids as she attempted to adapt to the dizzying state he'd left her in, she was undoubtedly kiss drunk. An air of smugness washed over him as his own gaze scanned over her features, he wondered if she realized that her lips were still faintly moving of their own accord, although he himself couldn't decide whether she was trying to string words together or her mouth still hadn't caught up to the situation. "Elena?" He murmured after she had a moment to steady her breath, his tone hitched with the tint of his egotistical ways. Her eyes fluttered open and she laid eyes upon him through a heavy curtain of lashes. "Hm?" Her voice had a shake to it and it brought a chuckle from his chest, followed by a tilt of his head. "Do you need a moment?" Almost instantly, her head bobbed in a light nod, although her features held an expression that still looked in a haze of pure satisfaction, no damn was indicated upon her porcelian skin. "I should.." She paused as a moment of indecision struck her, attempting to find the correct choice, between what she wanted and what she should probably do before she became overwhelmed by what she had just experienced; what had been brought on by her confession. "Go home." Another soft nod was given by her head and her eyes drifted downward to his lips, as they so often did when she craved them, though this time she craved the return of their warmth instead of curiousity driving her thoughts. "Are you sure you can get home by yourself?" His question rolled from his tongue in a playful manner, as he remained highly amused by the condition he had left her in. "Of course." Her voice so uncertain that Damon had to fight off yet another laugh, wanting her to remain in the little bubble of bliss he had created for her.
After declaring her decision to leave, she took a good chunk of a minute to seperate herself completely from Damon and then followed the movement into a step that was supported by wobbling knees. He stood ready to catch her at any moment, but as her usual stubborn side prevailed she made her way to the door to make her exit, just as she neared it she came to a stop and turned the upper half of her body to set her sights on the man before her; the devil himself. It was true what they said, the devil was a dangerous creature. Not in his abilities to cause harm, but in his charming and capturing ways. A deep inhale later she turned once again, gathering the sequin covered skirt of her dress in her hands and made her way out the door with Damon behind having taken no offence at her departure, he was simply being left to bask in the glory.
After tonight and the incident on the porch, he may just have to leave her cut off from the source of her desires more often. It made for a truly entertaining sight, seeing that longing in her eyes. Tonight had a slight difference though, there was no reluctance layered just beneath that want. She was his.