Dreaming of You Chapter 1: Hold me close in my moment of Insanity, an inuyasha fanfic

A/N: Hm, seeing as though someone made up the brilliant idea to store all one-shots in one story to save space I shall also do this. I'll switch "Lustful Infatuation" on here as well. I don't think I will be making a sequel to that either, maybe if my muse for that story returns. I did make a new chapter for "Broken Shards of my Shattered Heart" however, I thought it was complete crap and am re-making the chapter : Most of these will probably be short simply because they will most likely all be whims. Should I get serious on one of these one-shots then I shall make it long :

Title: Hold me Close in my Moment of Insanity

Summary: Her body was so close to death yet her magnificent blue eyes shone with such life and vitality that it was hard to believe she was truly dying. . . and in that moment he loved her.

Rating: T for slight morbid language and character death

Pairings: Youko Kurama/Kagome Higurashi under toned one-sided Sesshomaru

Anime: Inuyasha and Yu Yu Hakusho

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha nor Yu Yu Hakusho. This was made purely for my entertainment.

Dreaming of You-Hold Me Close in my Moment of Insanity

Pain is her absolution.

Pain is her conviction.

Pain is her humiliation.

Pain is her aggrandizement.

Pain is her Martyrdom.

Pain is her repudiation.

Pain is her reason to hate him.

Pain is agony.

Yet she would endure it all just to make him happy. Even if it meant that she had to sacrifice her own physical tribulation for him. She would do it all.

For him, because she owed him her life. . .

Because. . . he revered her. . . So she would abide it all.

Only for him.

"You stupid wench!"

Smack!

The green Kappa continued with his vilifications, "My lord should have killed you when he found you! You weak little human!" Whacking her gruelingly once more he stalked off.

Hugging herself tightly she pulled into an even tighter fetal position. Willing herself to forget the pain that he was causing she closed off into a happier place. A place where the only person to ever display true affection towards her lie.

Quickly the thought was lost as she became perfectly still and a ghost of a smile appeared on her face as the beautiful yet in the same horrible memory came upon her mind. She remembered the last thing she saw before she was encased in alluring blackness was an open window that flaunted her freedom before her.

The battle field was gruesome with bodies from both sides littering the floors. She was sure she was going to become another forgotten body lying amongst her comrades as she felt the blood rushing more furiously out of her body.

Even though she knew she should not, she welcomed the thought of death. To be without life was to be without adversities.

Yet even as such thoughts wondered throughout her mind a small part of her mind reminded her that should she die she would be taking the cowards way out. Her friends had paid a price too dearly for her to give up everything up now.

Her breathing became more labored and her steel grip on her bow loosed. Deftly she heard the bow and quivers fall incongruously onto the dirty ground.

What surprised her the most was that her body, too, fell along with the bow. It seems as though all her struggles were in vain as she slowly felt most of her life force drain from her body. The pain of living was no longer there, now replaced by numb satisfaction.

Just as she faded from sensibility a face shrouded by silver hair and hard gold eyes became apparent above her, "Please don't take me yet," she pleaded.

Impassive eyes locked with her impressive blue eyes. Even fading from viability her eyes were still the same captivating blue he'd come to adore. Now, staring at her prone form he couldn't take his eyes from her slightly dull blue eyes. He loved her, "I won't," he whispered softly.

A relaxed smile lit her weary face as he eyes slowly closed, "Thank you."

As she awoke a sense of shock ran through her as she realized that she was not dead but in fact on a nice soft silky bed. Sitting up she winced as pain shot from her stomach through her body.

"You should not be moving yet," a deep baritone voice commanded her.

Looking up her blue eyes widened, "Y-you're the one that saved me?" Briefly the image of the man with silver locks and deep gold eyes appeared in her mind.

Giving her an amused look he smirked, "Yes."

A frown marred her features as her eyes filled with tears. This was not supposed to happen, she was supposed to be dead. Thinking through all the questions she could ask one was most prominent. "Why," she whispered.

Turning to her fully his eyes hardened, "Because, I love you."

And in that moment, she actually felt enmity.

He holds something powerful.

He holds something nondescript.

He holds something enshrined.

He holds something impious.

He holds something alluring.

He holds something monstrous.

Something calls to him from that castle.

Something worth stealing lie there.

The youkai smirked as he gazed at the looming castle before him.

They all told him not to go. All that tried have died. Yet how could he ever call himself the greatest thief if he did not go?

Whatever is in there is powerful.

Whatever is in there strikes fear in creatures hearts without even stepping out of it's boundaries.

None have seen it, yet the fact that it's owner was him gave it enough reason to be feared. His smirk grew in a full out grin as he reached for a seed that would surely get him in.

Today he would steal that item, whatever it may be. And today his name will soar even higher than the lord of Rekai himself!

Setting the seed down he watched it grow. A cold chill of excitement ran down his back when he thought of the hunt.

Flexing his claws he took off without anyone even realizing he was even there.

Someone was coming for her. Someone was going to save her.

Getting up from her position on the floor she wiped away the single tear of happiness that came out when she thought of that memory. Yet just as quickly another memory sprung forth.

"Can't you see? I only love you when you are in pain. Because then, then, your eyes shine the brightest."

Shaking her head she willed the memory away. It didn't matter what she felt for him anymore because soon she would be free of him.

Soon, she would die because soon he was coming. She didn't know who he was, or what for that matter, however the souls inside her sang in elation at the thought of their gathering exemption. For when she died, they too shall finally be free from their prison.

The sound of clanking footsteps cautioned her that her savior had already breached the castle. Getting up from the floor she sat quietly in front of the vanity that he made for her. It was made of ivory painted a deep onyx with red little devils carved around the mirror. On the legs were large devils with gangly and torn wings made too look as though they were supporting the whole frame of the structure. At first it struck her as odd that he would give her something that looked as though all of Lucifer's mighty subjects scattered on it but that soon changed after his explanation.

"Don't question such things you already know. It is how it is so when you look into that mirror surrounded by heathens you will look sanctified. Such a pure creature surrounded by ugliness creates a more angelic picture, do you understand?"

Giving a small sigh she couldn't help but contradict. She was not holy, everything but. When her gaze lingers in the mirror she feels as though she should be one of those creatures carved in the wood, not the observer.

The door slammed open and she did not even have to turn around to know that it was he who slammed it. There was no way she could possibly not know it was him. His claws sank so deep into her soul and mind that she could never forget him. Not when the scars are still healing.

Staring hard at her silent form his golden eyes hardened, "Someone has invaded the fortress," he paused to watch her reaction, "you wouldn't have anything to do with this, would you?"

Walking towards her swiftly he brought his hand up to caress her shoulder. Using his unoccupied hand he turned her chin and forced her to meet his eyes. He sneered when all he saw in them was indifference, "If I do find out you had anything to do with this I will make you suffer."

The edge of her lips curled as she jeered, "Surely you know, my lord, I am not allowed to leave my room for more than three hours a day and am always followed by your personal advocate. So how would I possibly ever have outside contacts?"

His hand was swift and hard as it met it's mark, "Don't mock me miko! I am the one who holds your life in my hand!" He said heatedly as he left.

Her hand delicately touched the tender flesh of her cheek and a somber smile painted her lips, "Not any more my lord." she whispered as she lit the incense which would take out the guards and lead the thief to her.

He raced through the halls quietly as he searched fort he room where the treasure would be held. Just as he whizzed past a room he stopped and stared at the scene. In front of the door were two burly looking youkai guards. . . asleep. Leaning over he delicately sniffed the two guards and instantly knew why they were asleep. Someone had lit a special incense for these two dog youkai so they would sleep. Knowing their sensitive noses they most likely fell asleep instantly.

Yet the questions are; who and why. Gingerly stepping over over the two slumped forms he opened the Shoji screen which led to the room. The room smelled airy, as though a female had recently been through here.

Stepping past the main sitting room he opened another picturesque Shoji door and into a bedroom. The room was painted in the lords colors showing ownership of whomever lived in here. Yet everything was feminine making him beige that this was the lord of the West mistress' room. A deviant smirk fitted his face as he thought of the look the he might make once learning that not only had he stolen his most treasured item but he had also bedded his woman.

"You are the one then." A soft voice said. Just as he was going to answer he realized that there was someone else in the room.

Turning to where he heard the voice he saw a woman in an elegantly designed kimono sitting in front of a vanity facing him. The designs on her Kimono made his eyes narrow for they were all demon looking creatures. If one would look from afar they would think she was being devoured by demons.

"I expected you to be here sooner," with one last brush of her silken ebony hair she stood.

Giving her a once over his face of confusion left and once again contorted into his traditional devious smirk. Now he knew why he took her as a lover. Certainly he'd seen many more beautiful but she was very beautiful, for a human. Especially her eyes.

Then he realized what she said and his eyes widened just a fraction, "You expected me?"

A smile that did not reach her glorious sapphire eyes played on her lips, "Yes, I did," She paused to look over him. He looked so much like him yet it was his eyes that set him apart. Though devious they were not cruel, "shall you tell me your name, o' humble thief?"

"Why I shall tell you mine if you shall tell me yours, fair maiden." the fox stated as he kneeled and grabbed her hand to kiss her knuckles.

Her eyes flashed as she watched his antics, "My. . . name?" She whispered to herself yet with his delicate ears he heard her loud and clear.

Getting up he hooked his arm with hers and led them to main sitting room. Looking down, for she was a whole head shorter than he, the fox graced her with an amused grin, "Why, yes. Surely you have a name, everyone does. And if you play such a game so that I will tell first than I simply will not tell at all."

She gave a soft smile in response which truly lit her eyes up, to his delight, "No, it is not that I have none. I simply have not used it in a long time."

As he sat across from her he held out his cup so she can pour the tea she was offering. Curiously he tilted his head in a purely Kitsune way, "Well, what has your lord been calling you?"

Pushing aside his question she answered his previous one, "My name is Higurashi Kagome." she offered him a shallow bow, from long habits that have not left, across the table.

Smiling he took a sip of the sweet tea and looked down the collum of her neck as she bowed. "My name is Youko Kurama." He declared once she rose.

Tracing the top of her cup she watched her hand swivel around, "Hmm?"

He too watched, entranced, as her delicate appendage traced the cup, "Earlier, you said something," he paused cursing the hand that put him in his reverie. Clearing his thought he picked up slightly louder than before, "Earlier you said you were expecting me," He arched an eyebrow as Kagome's impassive face lifted to meet his stare, "how is it that you knew I was coming?"

"You came here to gain something yet you know not in which room it is, I merely helped you along the way and expected you here for an explanation." She said slowly with a low chuckle.

His eyes widened a fraction, "You. . . were the one who lit the incense." He stated more than asked and when she inclined her head ever so slowly his eyes lit with the thought of finding where his treasure lay, "so then you know where the jewel is!" His voice came rushed due to excitement.

Her blue eyes flashed as a ghost of a smile centered her face, "Whoever said it was a jewel?" she whispered softly.

His frown was sharp and calculating as he watched her trying to determine whether she was lying to him, "What did you say?"

Slowly she set the cup down and went over to kneel next to him. Her eyes softened as she watched the war of confusion battle within his eyes. They were so different than his. So warm, and new. Not yet knowing all of life yet gaining what some should not have gained at all. Her eyes shined as she gently brushed a stray hair out of his eyes, "Young thief you have much to learn in life. Have you not heard," the battle was over as realization overcame him, "not all is what it seems." she brought down her hand and slide slightly apart from him.

"You. . . are what he hides? You are the treasure that they all speak of? The reason there were guards here! But you are just a human!"

She moved his hand to her chest, "I am not human, not any more."

He felt shock run through his as he felt nor heard any heart beat. He hadn't realized it before, too enamored simply by her. He felt like a novice, not the great thief he was. Yet she looked so alive, so young, so human.

"I am dead, Youko, yet still live. Do you know why?" she questioned softly as she felt his claws dig into her chest.

When he didn't say anything she continued, "because a fool of a lord fell in love with me in my dying moment instead of killing me like fate had planned. And now because of this debt I cannot die by myself. I need assistance."

Slowly calming himself he decided to talk through this rationally, "and why ever did you not simply pay a servant to kill you."

Her lips tilted in a smile of loathing, "they all fear him. If they kill me he will slaughter them all. I don't need fools, I need someone strong."

Affirmation swan through his thoughts, "you wish for me to kill you."

A sigh released from her lips, "You wish to make a name of yourself, Youko Kurama, yet you already have. You come where no one else has ever been able to come and now you hold something no other has yet wants; my life. I have waited and waited for the strongest and you are he. Now, your name has risen above and beyond. Create a band of thieves and all will fear you," She prophesied, "I cannot leave these grounds for it is my curse to both live and die here and if you do not kill me I shall not tell you the safest way out." her eyes stared hard into his own making him choose, "You must hurry, The guards shall come soon. They check every fortieth to the hour and so far we have been quartered."

"How. . . do you know my name shall rise?" he asked hesitantly. How did she know that he wanted to make a name for himself and start a band of thieves of his very own?

Shifting she pulled something from her obi, it was a small beautifully engraved dagger with sapphires encrusted in the hilt, "Kill me with this and take it with you for all to see, they will all know."

She silently handed it over to him and he saw that on it was the emblem of the West. Taking a deep breath he looked at the door and back to her, slowly that devious smirk etched on his face, "Well it looks as though I cannot bed you now."

A hesitant smile blossomed across her face and she retailed to him the quickest and safest root out of the fortress. She clasped her small dainty hands over his and her eyes shone with an emotion she thought she could never feel again; love.

As they walked into her bedroom he watched silently as she went and lay on her bed. Walking over to her swiftly he went beside her and merely stared into her shining eyes. Quickly, before both she and he knew, he stabbed into her stomach and felt his chest tighten when she made the smallest of sounds.

Turning his head he pulled out on of his most precious seeds and added some of his youki to manipulate it to grow. Finally meeting her eyes he gasped and the Scarlet rose he was going to give her fell and landed next to her bleeding wound matching it completely.

It was odd. Her body was so close to death yet her magnificent blue eyes shone with such life and vitality that it was hard to believe she was truly dying. . . and in that moment he loved her. He loved her and her wonderful eyes that light like a star itself. Immediately he felt revulsion for the act he committed. Guilt and self-hatred ran deep through his veins as he stared into her eyes filled with love with something akin to horror.

Weakly she grasped his arm that was overhead her body, "Quickly," she breathed with her last breath.

He shot back as though he was burned and ran to leave. Just as he was closing the Shoji screen he stole one last look at her dying form and froze. She looked back at him with a sad smile and in the moment he knew; she loved him too.

Kurama shot up from his bed and gasped for air. He sat there panting for a long while and ran a shaky hand through his deep scarlet locks.

Looking at his sheets he gave an aggravated sigh. His sheets were soaked along with himself.

A sound from the window alerted him of Hiei's presence, What troubles you fox?

Kurama gave another sigh and his green gaze met his scarlet, "Nothing, nothing at all."

"Hn," he replied and with that he was gone.

Somehow Kurama knew that Hiei felt it. After all, it was like this every year. Lying back down Kurama tried focusing on getting back to sleep and ignoring the image in his head.

The image of those haunting sapphire blue eyes filled with both death and love that wouldn't get out of his head every year.

Yet. . . the thing he wished more importantly to go away, more than anything in the world, was the fact that he knew that the Kitsune whom gave him the life he was living right now. . . was mourning over his lost love.. .

And that thought in itself made even Kurama hurt.

A/N: Slightly, Okay very different. Anyways, I thought of this when I was wondering what Youko was like when he was starting his life as a thief. And if you didn't get it yes, he was very young then and starting out as a thief wanting to make his name be known.

Okay, so obviously the elusive he was Sesshomaru and he was the lord of the Western Lands. I simply hadn't written Sesshomaru down all the time because his name is long and I'm and asshole :P He hadn't participated in the last battle of Naraku, the italic scene, so he found Kagome Just about dead and used tenseiga to bring her back to life.

I rather liked the beginning though because it was all synonyms and antonyms and such. Along with Youko's little introduction if you didn't notice. I spent FOREVER looking for the opposite of certain words! Oh well, it was worth it. Also I used a lot of old/hardly used words so yeah, if you don't understand it kind of kills Youko's beginning and Kagome's but hey, You're the lazy person not me :P Ha Ha, just kidding that was mean, huh? Anyways just go to Dictionary DOT com and you can pretty much skip the second word of the sentences since it's the opposite of the first.

Bleh, I didn't like the ending WHATSOEVER and I was having a little trouble with it. I had this perfect scene I swear but I was suffering through insomnia, which I still am sadly, so I took about two of my mom's prescription sleeping pills, idiotic choice on my behalf but hey I was desperate for sleep, and actually passed out on my keyboard. I woke up with a crick in my neck and about a billion B's, G's , and R's and woke up forgetting the scene completely. So this was my botched version. U.U

Any criticism I will except, except flames, and comments. Especially those, I practically live off those now. God knows I've been starved, though it was my own fault.

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