Another day at Smosh HQ
Shayne glared around the break room at his fellow co-workers. Courtney… hunched over the table in a deep sleep. He could only turn away in disgust of her lazy work ethic. Then there was Olivia, staring at Courtneys soggy plastic bowl full of Cheerios and milk with intense focus.
"Hmph."
Shayne thought to himself.
"Look at these fools. If only Ian would recognize my greatness. I could run this establishment like my greatest hero Anthony Padilla!"
Life here at Smosh was difficult for poor ol' Shayne. Between being the funniest member and having to pretend to like these mongoloids he worked with. But LITTLE did he know that an adventure was brewing. One that would shape his life in new ways, and introduce a new perspective on a LITTLE thing called friendship and humility.
Shayne shifted his attention down to his phone and began scrolling through Instagram. After a few minutes of shameless stalking, a faint sound echoes in the hallway, a familiar sound… a… a… horrible sound.
"Wow Noah you're so funny! EEKYUH EEKYUH EEKYUH EEKYUH!"
That laugh.
"Keith."
Shayne grumbles angrily. Noah and Keith walk into the room with their hands joined together. Shayne was so jealous of their glorious friendship. All he wanted was Keith out of the picture so he could swoop in and have Noah all to himself. If any one here could keep up to Shayne; an intellectual, it was Noah.
The pair of friends known as ebony and ivory sit at the end of the table. Shayne sneaks a glance up at Noah with a sad look in his eyes. He couldn't look away. The sheer love that radiated off them was incredibly powerful, you could almost physically see the love waves.
"Oh man. I love Noah so damn much! If only we could get away from Chris Paper over there."
(cuz Keith is thin like paper not like rock)
Suddenly, Noah's eyes lock with Shaynes! Shayne blushed and looked away before slowly looking back up. Keith was rubbing his head on Noah's chest so he didn't notice the frothy eye contact happening in his very midst.
"I know what you want sweet puppy"
Noah mouthed.
He pulled a saucer hat out from his jacket and placed in front of Keith on the table. Keith was still nuzzled when he began to sniff the air. Keith spotted the hat and began inspecting it furiously, allowing Noah to slip away unnoticed. He approached Shayne and took his hand, helping him to his feet.
"Listen toadstool. I made a shrink ray. You wanna shrink? Get some alone time just me and you huh? Huh ?"
"Yea"
Noah wheeled in a box from the other room with an antenna sticking out from the middle.
"Thats a shrink ray? It looks like hot bricks."
Said Shayne.
"Ofcourse you fool! Its a disguise. Now pucker!"
Noah picks Shayne up and puts him on the table then stands next to him.
Noah pointed the device at himself and Shayne and pressed the button. Zapping them down to the size of ants.
"Holy moly!"
Screamed Shayne.
"Silence! Let's get busy frog boy."
Noah slides to Shayne and sizes him up. Shayne puffs his chest, trying his best to keep the playing field level. But to no use. Noah was too much man to handle. Too intimidating. Filled with masculine masculinity. Shayne couldn't take it.
"No! I… I can't do this. You beef cake! Its ruined! You ruined it! I was… so sure we were equals! But you showed me the true meaning of friendship and for that… for that I thank you."
Noah cracked a small smile and patted Shayne on the shoulder.
"That was all I wanted to do old friend. Come on. Keith will want me to cook him pasta with minty green tea leaves."
Noah walks back to the shrink ray but realizes that he has no way of reaching the reverse button when he's bug sized.
"... Oh shit."
"What wrong?", asked Shayne.
"Its bad. We're small for good man! For good!"
"Oh no!"
It's okay. Come on! Courtney is right there! Lets get her help!"
Shayne and Noah run over to Courtneys foot and climb onto her converse shoe. They then climb all the way up to her shoulder, walk up the side of her neck and enter her ear.
"Hey Courtney!"
They yell.
The world around them suddenly lurched as Courtney snapped awake.
"Chris Pratt!", she yelled.
"Courtney were in your head! Help us!", yelled Shayne.
"What? Huh? Who dat? Who dere?"
"For the love of… Listen up alright!? Shayne and I shrunk and we are in your ear. Help us out!"' said Noah.
"This must be one of those sleep deprivation hallucinations. I sleep now."
Courtney instantly passed out, causing her to fall forward back onto the table. Shayne and Noah fly out of her ear and land in her soggy bowl of cheerios, causing a small drop of milk to fly out and land on her cheek, snapping her back awake.
"What what what!?... Oh breakfast time."
"Courtney you're acting straaaaangely. Mom is that you?", said Olivia.
"But it's breakfast time Olivia."
"Its four in the afternoon. I miss my mom so much."
"Really? I better eat this before it gets soggy then."
Courtney picks up a small plastic spoon and begins shoveling cheerios into her mouth, while the pair of pipsqueaks narrowly avoid getting scooped up and sent into Courtneys gut, to become nothing more than brown nuggets.
Noah starts to swim to the edge of the bowl, but Shayne got his leg stuck in the soft gooey surface of one of the cheerios.
"OH no! Looks like I'm in an uh OH situation huh? Hehehe… get it? Cheeri-OH?... sheesh."
While Shayne was trying to explain his crap joke, Courtney had already scooped him up and was bringing him towards her open mouth. Shayne was engulfed in the putrid smell of pepperoni sticks and protein powder… smelt like she ate his lunch. Noah could only watch in horror as Courtney swallowed Shayne, depositing him down her gullet.
"NOOOOOOOO! CRUEL WORLD!", Noah screamed in anguish.
Until a thought came to him. Courtney unknowingly had a schedule for her burps. And if his calculations were correct, she should have the next one right about… now!
UUUURRRRPP
Noah noticed a speck soar through the air.
"Shayne!? Is that you?!", he yelled.
"YEEEES! I'M LIKE A BIIIIRRRD!"
Noah ran like a beast to keep up with his flying friend. He then leapt into the air and caught Shayne in his arms, before landing back on the table like a goddamn superhero.
"Noah… that was amazing."
"I know."
Shayne leaned in for a kiss but was dropped onto his butt before he could make contact.
"But Noah."
"NO SHAYNE! Can't you understand? Keith and I… were meant to be."
"You're right. Your love for eachother is too strong. Not even I can get in the way. I'm sorry."
"Yeah keep talking. Anyways… Its time to get big."
Noah and Shayne make their way over to Keith (who was still inspecting the hat Noah gave him) and climb up to the top of the hat on his head. The hat was so large that they could make their way to the top of the shrink ray from it. They leap from his hat to on top of the shrink ray and approach the button of their salvation.
"We did it! Yippee!", Shayne cheered.
"Hehehe thats right. Now get down infront of the laser and get ready to catch me."
Shayne descends down to the floor as Noah jumps on the button labeled "GROW". A countdown begins and Noah drops down into the waiting arms of Shayne.
5
.
.
.4
.
.
.3
.
.
.2
.
.
.
1
"I love churros guys. Hey bugs are cool too.", said Olivia, who noticed tiny specks hopping around and decided to get a closer look. Olivia approached Noah nd Shayne and picked them up as the beam fired.
"Son of a beesting! Its Godlivia!"
Olivia had been hit by the growth beam and busted through the roof growing up to 100 feet with Noah and Shayne in the palm of her hand.
"Whoa… I love churros."
~Fin