EXIT, STAGE LEFT

AN: TV shows are so weird in how they handle character exits. Soaps are so bad, it's hilarious sometimes. They leave characters in comas. Or they send characters into the bathroom, never to leave. And so the same thing kind of happened with Lauren Cruz. She just sort of…vanished.

I just thought it would be fun to figure out where she went, what she's doing now...type thing.

"I've been meaning to ask, Peter…" Neal said, sitting in Peter's office one day. "…where did Lauren go to…Agent Cruz? Where did she go?"

Peter looked out through the glass and down to the part where Neal and the junior agents sat. He shook his head…Diana was sitting at Cruz's desk. Peter looked at Neal. He then shuffled through some papers on his desk. He hadn't remembered signing any transfers lately. And Loren, as far as he could remember, had not asked to be transferred. It could be that Hughes took care of it. But if he had, he would have mentioned it to Peter. I mean it was an agent that they were talking about.

"Yeah, Neal…I…." Peter was at a loss for words. "I didn't get a transfer request, not that I recall. She never talked to me about leaving White Collar, going to another division, anything like that. I…I don't know."

"You know I read about this actor who was on a soap opera. To get rid of his character they just left him in a bathroom. Literally, he walked into the bathroom and never came out. The character was never heard from again." Neal stated. He could not remember the actor's name. But he had heard of the same type thing happening to soap opera actors in the past.

"This is not a soap opera, Neal." Peter said irritated at Neal's flight of fancy and wondering where he is was going with it.

"I know that, Peter. But you don't know where she is. She's not on your team anymore, obviously. That place was taken by Agent Diana Barrigen. So, where is she?" Neal asked.

Peter, started to speak, but then he closed his mouth again. He had nothing to tell Neal. "Maybe she…."

"What…got abducted by aliens?" Neal chuckled.

"I was going to say maybe she's working an angle…undercover." Peter offered.

"Who would do that without telling you?" Neal asked. "Hughes has the authority. But he still would have told you what he had done."

Neal was right. Hughes would have told him about anything that concerned his agents.

Peter shook his head. He ushered Neal out of his office before picking up the phone to call their HR department. Somebody had to now something…a termination date, something.

WC WC WC WC WC

Neal put his coat on the rack. He handed his wine selection off to El as he made his way into their dining room.

El had made a meal of Neal's favorites. She knew that that was the best way to get him over to the house. And she knew that Peter had wanted to discuss this whole 'Cruz' thing somewhere outside the office.

Neal couldn't believe his ears. "So…there's nothing? No employment record, no…?"

Peter shook his head as he pushed his food around on his plate. "It doesn't make any sense. She was there. She worked with us. How could there be no record?"

An idea occurred to Neal and he smiled. "What if it was a con?"

"A con?" El asked, confused.

"What if Cruz really wasn't an FBI agent?" Neal clarified.

"Than what was she?" Peter asked.

"You've heard of people who impersonate doctors…that type thing?" Neal enquired.

"Sure. But what's the endgame?" Peter said.

"…being intellectually superior." Neal replied.

"That's it? That's all?" Peter said, forgetting his meal.

"It is one hell of a rush." Neal admitted.

"She couldn't fool human resources, Neal. She had paperwork. She had a folder." Peter stated.

"Did you find it?" Neal asked, referring to the folder.

Peter shook his head. "I signed off on her work. I gave her performance reviews, evaluations. Those are the things that create folders. She should have…."

El turned to Neal. "If she used her name, Lauren Cruz, how did she fool anybody? If she changed her name, there would have been a record. If she started using another name at work, signing her reports using another name, somebody would have noticed."

"She told you one last name, and she went by another with HR." Neal offered.

"How is that even possible?" Peter questioned.

"A women gets married, pretends she's gotten married, in this case. She tells HR that she has. They change things to her new last name. Then when they see something with her old last name on it, they know where it goes, and no suspicion is raised." Neal concluded. "HR doesn't send up any red flags and nobody is the wiser."

"Wouldn't it just be better to fake documentation than to have it missing?" El asked, thinking in the same vein that Neal was proceeding. "She could create whatever documents, recommendations, references, etc., she needed for the job. An incomplete file would cause questions to be raised."

Peter shot his wife a concerned look. She just shrugged.

Neal nodded. "It would. And forms like the FBI's are easy to forge." He admitted, and then backtracked. "Not that I have, of course. But yeah, you don't want those questions out there." Neal sighed. "And that is part of the fun too, part of the game. Seeing just how much you can get away with."

"But why, then, just leave?" El asked. "That's a lot of effort for…."

Neal nodded. "She got bored. She felt like she was getting close to being found out. And what you are calling work, El, that's all a part of the con itself. Each piece that passes 'inspection'…."

Peter nodded. But he was getting decidedly uncomfortable with the course of this conversation. He didn't like the prospect of being duped by a fake FBI agent. And he didn't believe all of what Neal had proposed. But bits and pieces of it were possible, enough to make him wonder.

Plus, there was that question…Where was Special Agent Lauren Cruz?

WC WC WC WC WC

"So…what's left, Peter?" Neal asked. "Did we imagine her…a group hallucination?"

Peter shook his head. "It was like she was never here. I never even really missed her at the morning meetings, didn't realize that she wasn't there. None of the rest of the office mentioned her. Jones never said anything. And he had spent many long hours in the van with her. Hughes never mentioned her. And he notices these things. Jones missed a few hours for a dentist appointment last week. Hughes asked me where he was. Not much gets past the man."

"I'm going with an alien abduction." Neal stated.

Peter shook his head. "It was a shape shifter."

"Supernatural fan, huh. I would have never thought it of you." Neal replied.

"Sam and Dean drive an awesome car." Peter stated.

THE END

FYI: That thing about the soap opera actor happened to Luke Perry. (Dylan on the 'original' Beverly Hills, 90210.) His character went into the bathroom and never came back out.