The real reason why Naruto wants to be Hokage.
The Hokage sat in his chair, his face relaxed a she puffed on his pipe sending wisps of purple smoke curling up into the ceiling of the office and into the face his least Liked ANBU officer of the month who was desperately trying not to cough. Sitting on the floor leaning against the far wall was the seven year old Naruto who was sitting with a paper pad resting on his lap with a look of utter concentration etched onto his face.
"Neh, Jiji, aren't you supposed to be doing paperwork right now?"
The Hokage blinked at Naruto's odd question and then chuckled softly shaking his head and sending small lumps of silvery ash onto the tabletop, seconds after they landed the second least like ANBU member of the month slithered out of his hatch in the side of the desk and licked them away before sliming his way back inside leaving a trail of mucus behind him that dried and flaked away in seconds.
"Naruto I'm the Hokage, the god of shinobi, I have several hundred little morons with no ambition and use other than being human typewriters, hell I could even force the jonin or ANBU to do the paperwork for me."
Looking up from his pad Naruto adopted a confused face and then replied.
"Neh, are you sure they wouldn't just ignore you like I do with Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei."
The Hokage raised an eyebrow and then coughed.
"Neko, Hebi, show Naruto here a good time, nothing below the belt."
Instantly two figures landed next to Naruto, both of them female with slim waists and modest chests and each wearing a seemingly fragile porcelain mask, one with a snake and one with a cat on it, the snake masked woman took hers off and reached out grabbing Naruto's top and then jamming her tongue into his mouth, the other took off her mask and began to kiss and lick his neck.
Naruto simply sat there in absolute shock as the two women licked every inch of skin above his waist, the formerly snake masked woman pressed Naruto's face into her ample chest and began top stroke his hair making soft breathy moans while the formerly cat masked one locked eyes with the madly blushing Naruto and started making out with the formerly cat masked one whilst rubbing herself against Naruto's back and moaning in the same manner as the formerly snake masked one.
Ten minutes of that later the Hokage dismissed them with promises of a C-rank pay, turning to Naruto he watched as a light seemed to go on in his blue eyes and a massive shit-eating grin stretched his face.
"Erm, are you okay Naruto-kun?" asked the Hokage tentatively as Naruto began to tremble.
"HELL YES JIJI." Was the loud and enthusiastic reply, sweat dropping the Hokage asked Naruto to lower his voice to which Naruto replied.
"WHAT, IT IS LOWERED JIJI, ANWAY, COULD ALL OF THE HOKAGES DO THAT?"
The sweatdrop grew even bigger and the slug masked ANBU in the desk poked his head out of the hatch and made a weird bubbling noise as he watched it roll down the aged mans head.
"Yes Naruto-kun, they could."
"I'M GONNA BE HOKAGE THEN JIJI, THEN I CAN ORDER HOT GIRLS TO DO THAT ALL DAY, BELIEVE IT!"
The sweatdrop hit the floor as it grew to the size of a small toddler, or a malformed dog, the slug masked ANBU slithered over to it and planted his face in it and began to drink causing the other ANBU officers to wince in sympathy, a month in the desk can break even the strongest of…things.
"Naruto-kun, that's not an acceptable reason to want to become Hokage"
Striking a thinking pose Naruto scratched his chin for a few minutes before whispering.
"FINE THEN, I WIL PROTECT PEOPLE AND OTHER NOBLE…STUFF, THEN HAVE HOT WOMEN DO THAT TO ME, DATTEBAYO!"
Sighing in exasperation the Hokage shook his head as Naruto walked out of his office with the same horrifying grin on his face.
"I hope he's joking, no one should abuse the position of Hokage like he was proposing."
The aged Hokage pushed the gloomy thoughts from his mind and lit his pipe again and called a rather busty badger masked ANBU to rest her...ahem…assets on his back as he read from the Icha Icha held in the hand of a willowy figured but still blatantly feminine hawk masked officer as her shadow clone massaged his feet.
"Nu-uh, he will need to mature enough to understand the responsibility of being the Hokage."
"Scree?"
"Yes slug-san you can eat his paper he hadn't written anything anyway."
XxXxXxX
Hmp, weird, this started out as an anti-cliché thing to the paperwork joke everyone does, you know the one when the Hokage cannot even move because of all the stuff.
It then evolved into this.
Right, anyway, ten reviews and I wont kill little slug-chan here.
"Don't worry, I'm just a fictional character."
"but the pain will be more than real."