The Brave Face.
I always hated myself. I hated to look into the mirror every day and see a face that did not belong to me staring back. I hated the thought that the onset of puberty would entrench that face and make it permanent.
My parent gave up long ago trying to force me to wear boy's clothes. I think my father hopes it is just a phase and that, once in high school, I will meet a nice girl and put my foolishness behind me
Sorry Dad, not gonna happen. Ever.
When I read the rules and regulations regarding the wearing of the uniform, my heart leapt out my chest to notice only that it was required, not that boys wore boys and girls wore girls.
YAY!
My first day was a rather trying experience. The dog scared me so bad, I didn't know what to do. If it hadn't been for Otani-sempai and Koizumi-sempai coming along at that very moment, I would have missed the opening ceremony.
And then, they save me again from the old hag at the auditorium door. How was I supposed to know I had to wear my uniform that day? No one told me.
Still, it's hard to have to hear my boy name in class every day. I keep correcting sensei, but I don't think it's sinking in. At least the other students call me Seiko. Thank goodness for small miracles.
I am going to miss Koizumi-sempai and the others this year. They were my pillar of strength my first two years. I wish them luck though, and I hope Otani-sempai is happy with Koizumi-sempai.
Now, it's just me again. I keep up this brave face because I don't want the others to see how scared I am of growing up. I noticed the shadow on my upper lip is getting darker each passing day…or is it my imagination? Either way, I need to do something about it soon. Time to get a part-time job so I can afford electrolysis at least.
Sigh
I heard that people like me have it easier in America. If I study real hard, maybe I can go abroad there for university and get the medication and help I won't find here.
Something to try for anyway.