I really don't know where this came from. I just want to say though that I think that Salazar didn't really hate muggles/muggle-borns he just wanted to protect witches and wizards. After all in their time muggles were very afraid of magic and would try to kill magical people for instance: Witch Burnings.
This is my first humour fic so PLEASE tell me how I've done. It's not really my style and I don't expect to be good at it so feel free to flame.
Disclaimer: Salazar, Godric, Hogwart's Castle, Slytherin's Locket, Gryffindor's sword, Hufflepuff's cup, Ravenclaw's diadem, Helga and Rowena all belong to JK Rowling.
"What the hell!" Salazar's angry scream tore through the castle; luckily most of the student had gone home for Christmas. Because he really wasn't setting a good example here.
"They got me, me, Salazar Slytherin greatest wizard ever born, a necklace?"
"I thought we agreed that I was the greatest wizard ever born." Salazar's long time friend and co-founder of the school, Godric Gryffindor, said petulantly as he came to find the source of the fuss.
"That's what you're worried about? This is a crisis, Godric! What did they get you?"
"What?"
"Rowena and Helga have given me a necklace for Christmas."
Godric peered at it "Hmm, looks more like a locket to me," Salazar seethed behind him. "They got me sword." He said happily.
"It's really big and glittery – because it's covered in rubies."
Salazar humphed and pinched his nose "After all the trouble we went to for their presents."
"As I remember you picked the first two shiny things you saw and enchanted them a little. And maybe they thought you needed a necklace."
"Why would I need a necklace? I'm a man. They could have gotten me a sword as well couldn't they?"
"Well you don't really fight that much."
"They could have got me a book."
"You've already got a lot of books. And we all have to learn to compromise. I wanted a dragon." He nodded wisely and strode out of his friend's room.
Salazar began to bang his head on the closed door.