So anyway, I'm leaving. I thought you'd like to know.
Your faith will come what may, but clearly I can't stay.
We'd both go mad that way, so here I go.
"What are you doing?" Pam couldn't keep her voice from cracking when Eric walked out of his office with a suitcase in hand. Sookie was gone. She had chosen neither Bill nor Eric, and since that fateful night he had never been the same. It had been three days and he hadn't fed once. He was not himself, and Pam didn't know what to do. She wasn't supposed to take care of him, he was supposed to take care ofher and now he had a suitcase in his hand? Her tears fell rapidly and uncontrollably. She felt Eric pushing love and comfort through his end of their bond, but she quickly threw her shields up in anger. The look on his face when she did this broke her heart even more.
"I'm leaving, Pammy."
"Fuck you."
And anyway I'm leaving. I guess that you can see.
I'll try this on my own, a life I've never known.
I'll face the dread alone, but I'll be free.
Her words were spoken with as much venom as she could muster within her small body. Eric reached out his hand to cup her face but she jerked herself away, curling into herself as she stood before him, crying. Her tears met her cheeks with a fire blazing for only Eric. She hated him. He was leaving her because he couldn't deal with himself anymore. He couldn't be himself around her. Once again, his selfish tendencies were being taken too far.
"Who are you? Who the fuck are you and what have you done with my maker? You're a fucking selfish asshole! You're throwing everything we have away for some fucking human! She doesn't love you, Eric! She never will, and no matter what I always have! Why are you doing this to me? Why, why…"
Eric set the suitcase down and moved to pull her into his arms. She banged against his chest with closed fists, beating him until she could no more. Eric just held her, moving his hand and petting her hair, whispering "shhs" and "hushs" into the top of her head as he kissed her repeatedly.
With you always beside me to catch me when I fall,
I'd never get to know the feel of solid ground at all.
With you always believing that we can still come through,
It makes me feel the fool to know that it's not true.
She finally stopped banging on his chest and gripped his t-shirt in chunks in her small fists. It was all Eric could do to keep from crashing around her himself, but he just held her, listening to her sobs and her desperate pleas for him to stay.
"I can't. I can't stay, Pam. I can't stay here smelling her every time I turn around. I can't live here knowing that around every corner I might see her."
"And once again, Eric Northman, you've proven that another woman, a human," she spat, "means more to you than I do, your own daughter. Your progeny. You made me and I have lived and loved you for almost 200 years, and this is how you repay me? By running out because you can't handle your emotions?"
He shook his head, releasing her. "I can't have you picking up the pieces of me every time something bad happens. I am not weak, Pamela. There are times when I seek your council, but now is not one of them."
I'll take a chance on leaving.
It's that or stay and die.
I loved you once and though you love me still, I know
It's time for me to fly.
She growled at him. "Don't pull your bullshit maker crap on me right now, Eric Northman! You don't get to call yourself that anymore! If you walk out of that door, I will never forgive you!"
Eric did the unthinkable in that moment and pressed his lips to hers lightly. "I will always be your maker. I will never release you as long as these are the conditions we face. I love you and have loved you for as long as you've lived with me. I have saved you and loved you and cared for you." He picked up the suitcase and headed for the door. "Know this, Pamela: You mean more to me than anything, but right now I need to go."
He pushed the door open and walked out.
I loved you once and though, I love you still, I know.
It's time for me to go.
Goodbye.
And with that, he left, out of the door of Fangtasia with vampire speed like she had never meant a god damn thing to him. Eric Northman would never mean as much to her again. He left her alone, cold and scared with nothing and no one to turn to. The next time she saw him would be the worst day of his life. She would fucking guarantee it. No one left Pamela de Beaufort and got away with it.
She knew from that moment that she, nor him, would ever be the same.
She sat there in the middle of that dance floor a shell of her self, sobbing and crying and praying for him to come back.
He never did.