Dreaming of… WHO?!

His head hit the pillow with its usual heaviness, the covers sneaking around his thick body and warming him up. Groaning he tried to sort through his memories of the day, which had been filled with stress, too much caffeine and reading 'Alice in Wonderland' in an attempt to calm some kids which had been in a car accident. Fuck.

And on top of it all the Boss' grandkids had burst in, turning everything upside down and giving him the headache of the century. Pressing his palms to his closed eyelids, he sighted deeply and willed himself into a blessed sleep. Not.

~*~

He was standing on a great field, the tall golden grass swaying in the warm wind. A sound made him turn his head and what he saw made him stare in shock. A young man with black hair wearing a suit ran away from him, with fricking rabbit ears. Not believing what he saw, Smoker started to run after him, shouting to try and make him stop.

"Oi! Who, no, what are you-" But before he could finish the question, he found himself falling down into a deep blackness, after the familiar rabbit boy…

~*~

After, what seem as an eternity of falling through a dark, black, endless hole he fell on a hard surface in the middle of a garden.

"Well, hello there, young lady", he looked at the stupidly looking, tall man with a hat, ready to strangle him for calling him a girl, "would you mind to show me your panties?" He asked with an innocent expression. Then he noticed that he was sitting at a table, full of tea pots and there were two more people who laughed their asses of on the situation. Some sort of hare boy (who had an all too familiar look like his Boss' grandkid and… holy shit, that really was Luffy!) and the asshole that got him here in the first place! Ok, someone was about to die!

And that was the moment when he noticed that he was wearing a blue dress and blue knot in his hair. Apparently, he was the only one to see the ridiculousness of the whole situation, because the other two had stopped laughing and asked him if he wanted a cup of tea.

Absolutely enraged, he practically shouted "No! I don't want a damn cup of tea! I want to know who the hell you are and where the hell I am?!"

"Such a bad language for a young lady… I guess that means you won't show me your panties. Too bad!" The hat-man said, looking a bit disappointed, "well, I'm Brook the Hatter, this is Luffy the Mad Hare..." he pointed to the boy who was smiling as if he were on drugs, "and this is our guest, Ace the White Rabbit. You can consider yourself invited to be guest at our tea party! Yohohohohoho!" He ended his speech grinning as wide as Luffy.

Smoker was looking dumbfounded at the three of them, but lingered his gaze at the rabbit boy, deciding if he wanted to kill him now or right at this moment. Ace was holding his gaze with a slight grin, as if saying that he knew exactly what was happening. Then his grin grew bigger as he turned to the other two, who were arguing about something in the tea pot.

"It's always a pleasure to see you, my dear friends, but I have to go now or I'll be late!" he said, then turned to Smoker, "I hope we see each other again sometime, miss… And, I really like your dress!" he said with a playful smile and was gone in the same moment.

Smoker couldn't believe this! Who did this guy think he was?! The stupid brat was mocking him! Although he was the one with the rabbit ears! He ran after him, furious. Only then he noticed…

~*~

How bullets suddenly flew past his face, nearly scratching the skin off the tip of his nose. Bewildered, he turned against where the bullet had come from, only to get a gun thrown at him from before him.

"Catch, missy!" Catching it on instinct, he stared down at the heavy Glock in his hands, only to be brought back to reality by a bullet hitting the concrete. Swearing, he raised the weapon and fired away, being granted by the sound of a body hitting the gray floor. But before he had any time to think about it, he heard a growl from behind.

"Sanji! Who the hell do you think you are, asshole!?" Suddenly someone grabbed him from behind, with a gun at the base of Smoker's skull, ready to blast his brain out.

"That was my mate, fucker, and now you're gonna pay fo-" Feeling the cold metal pressed against his neck, the grey-haired man decided that he wouldn't take this anymore. Suddenly whipping around, he brought his fist up to connect with a jaw. Taken by surprise, the green-haired man staggered back.

"Ahahaha! Seems like you've met Zoro, miss!" The irritating sound of the rabbit's laugh made Smoker whip his head to the left. The nuisance was sitting on top of huge crate, dangling his long legs over the edge and grinning down at the man who still wore the blue dress.

"YOU! What the hell- No, who the bloody fucking hell are you!?" But the threat was only met by more laughter and suddenly someone grabbed his hand and brought it up to lips which kissed his knuckles.

"Miss, a lady really shouldn't take such words in her mouth." Just staring at the blond who stood there with blood dripping from his torso, Smoker felt a nerve twist in his cheek.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Sanji!?"

"Shut it, marimo, I don't need your help with anything!" Letting go of the hand he held in his, the blonde turned against Zoro to fight. Ignoring the two in his confusion, Smoker looked up to see that the boy named Ace nowhere to be seen. Turning against the other two to ask if they knew anything about him, he felt himself blush.

The two had abounded the bickering for a make-out instead. But before he had a chance to open his mouth to ask, more bullets flew.

"Shit, keep moving, miss! You'll never catch him if you just stand there!" Sanji spoke in a breathless voice, as did Zoro.

"And don't let go of that gun." The bullets flying faster and more often now, Smoker tore of after thanking the two. Then, something hit him from behind…

~*~

"Rise and shine, bitch!" He heard a voice growl as he slowly opened his eyes again.

The pain in his had been dull, which meant that he blacked out for quiet some time. As he looked around, he noticed that he was in a dark and pretty empty warehouse. There was absolutely no light except for a light bulb that was placed above his head. The asshole that was talking to him seemed pissed off and the woman next to him didn't look pleased either.

"Oh, you gotta be kidding me!" Smoker didn't think that he could take much more. Everything seemed so surreal that it was absurd.

"Listen, bitch, we know that you are the only one who knows where he is hiding so don't play damsel in distress and tell us what you know… or it could get real ugly!" The guy didn't seem as if he was joking.

"Listen, buddy, I have no idea of who we are talking about, but I've been through some real shitty things in the past few hours, so don't get on my nerves and get out of my face!" He was at his limit and the other guy looked as if he was about to punch him in the face.

"Let me try Mr. 1. Maybe he listens to a woman." The tall wench appeared in front of him. "You know, I really like your dress… So be a good girl and tell me where he hides and I promise we won't hurt you… Too badly!"

And in that moment some shoots came form outside the building and the whole warehouse turned into a battlefield. Someone fried his hands from the cords and he was pulled behind a large pile of boxes.

"Do you still have your gun, miss? 'Cause you'll need it later on… Or now, depending on how fast you are." There was this rabbit-asshole, again. Grinning at him as there weren't any shoots all around them.

"I swear to God, when this is over you're going~" But the rabbit ran off behind some cases. Smoker ran after him the whole time until he noticed a small back door only waiting for him. Oh, thank God, now this whole shit is over! He pulled at the door, ran out and was greeted with the sight of…

~*~

The beach stretched on for what seemed like miles and miles of sparkling white sand, filled with people basking in the sun and enjoying ice cream along with dips in the blue water. With bullets no longer flying around his head and another absurd situation popping up, the grey-haired man could do nothing but stand there and stare at it.

Then something flew at him from behind and he reacted instinctively, hitting the beach volleyball at its side so it flew away all the way to the water instead.

"Oi! What did you do that for?"

"Yeah!" Turning his head slowly in the direction of the voices which shouted at him, Smoker felt that nerve in his cheek twist once again. But before he had a chance to say anything, the man with rabbit ears spoke again.

"And by the way, miss, on a beach, you wear beach clothes!" As soon as those words had left the freckled man's lips, the bigger man found himself wearing a blue tong. Seriously, a fucking tong!

"That's it, you're gonna die!"

"Kya~! What a cute butt!" The high-pitched voice from behind him cut through his ears and he whipped around to find a bunch of girls staring at his ass, practically drooling all over. His eyes bulged out, a vein appeared on his forehead and the tendons stood as wires at his neck. Then muscled arms wrapped themselves around his torso and stomach and a head rested on his shoulders, black, wavy hair tickling his nose.

"Sorry, ladies, he's taken."

"Aw, unfair, Ace! Share!" The girl at the front of the group, with sea green hair and a pointy nose, whined at them as the hare-eared Luffy shouted at them from behind to come and play again.

"Nope!" In a state of shock, Smoker let the younger man drag him backwards, in his head knowing that he knew this kid somehow. The way he irritated the shit out of him, the way his warm arms felt wrapped around him, but now with bare skin against bare skin… Alright, stop there!

"By the way, they all chase me 'cause they want my fire… have you joined the competition, miss?" The whisper in his ear sent shivers down his spine, but somehow he managed to hear the words. Suddenly the arms had released him and as he turned around there was no more beach, but…

~*~

A large stage. In the middle of a large field was an even larger stage with a performer he didn't know. And an ocean of people who lay in the grass or danced to the music and looked very relaxed.

"Well, as long as they don't shoot me, it's fine! But where am I?"

"Wow, man, I really like your clothes! They totally represent the freedom of dressing! Awesome!" Some guy in a colorful tunic said as he was passing by.

"Mm… Thanks, I guess. Could you tell me where I am? "

"You're in Woodstock, man!" The guy said as if Smoker had lost his mind. And then he noticed it. This was the Woodstock Festival, which meant that this were hippies on drugs, which meant that it was 1969, which meant that he wasn't even born yet! But there wasn't much that he could do about it and everything was certainly better than a gun fight where he could get killed. So he decided to play along!

He was sitting in the grass for a while and he had to admit that it was very nice, actually. No one was bothering him and everyone was having a good time.

"Hello, miss. You look like you're enjoying yourself. It is quite nice, isn't it?" The rabbit brat was sitting next to him, also in a very colorful tunic. Smoker didn't even bother to ask why he was here, because it seemed as if he was following him anywhere.

"You know, you could explain me why you are doing this shit to me? And who are you, anyway?" He said absolutely calm, not having the power to argue.

"I haven't done anything! You are the one that keeps following me… And you don't seem as if you aren't enjoying it! And as for whom I am, the Hatter said that clearly." Ace leaned against Smoker and laid his head on his shoulder.

"The Hatter said shit! I mean, I have the feeling as if I know you from somewhere, so…" He stopped as he noticed that Ace was going towards the stage. Smoker followed him instinctively and he was dragged through the crowd and on the stage. The band didn't seem to notice him, or Ace, who was stage diving and falling into the crowd. He jumped after him and noticed that he was…

~*~

In fact falling down into a huge bonfire with the flames reaching up to catch him instead of hands. Fear bloomed in his mind and he squinted his eyes shut, waved with his arms and legs to try and avoid the heat. But then, he felt two set of hands grabbed a hold of his upper arms, making him just above the flames. Looking up in shock and confusion, he saw the two men who he had met during the first gunfight.

"Miss, maybe you should wear something less flammable or something more at least, the next time you want to dance in the fire, ne?" The blond man smiled a charming smile down at him, which made the greenhaired one roll his eyes and sigh heavy. Then he nodded at the side of the fire.

"Ya' want us to put you down over there?"

"Ah, sure…" They put him down gently at the grass, but before Sanji had a chance to take his hand and kiss it again, Zoro had caught the blonde's hands in his own. He got a snort as a reply, but didn't let go and Sanji didn't pull back. Then the three of them just stood there, watching the flames dance.

"What is this?" Something with the flames pulled at his memory, he saw figures moving in the flames, twisting in something which looked like embraces and… He didn't continue on that streak, but instead threw an eye at the other two. The light reflected in a visible blue eye, lips parting to answer.

"It's a fire of forbidden desire…" Something dawned inside of Smoker, and he sucked in breath with a gasp.

"W-where is that rabbit-bastard?" But before he had gotten an answer, a sudden blow of wind stole his breath, made the flames reach him and burn his skin. He closed his eyes as fast as he could, and sent a silent prayer that it would soon disappear. Then, as they didn't burn him, he opened his eyes and found himself…

~*~

Lying in a bed. In a white room with many apparatus and he had bandages all over his body. Oh God, he was in a hospital! Then he heard some sort of sound and saw that a nurse appeared next to him.

"Good morning, sir. I'm so glad you woke up at least! How are you feeling?" The blonde nurse looked kind, but there was only one question racing thru his mind.

"I'm good… But, what happened?"

"Sir, you probably don't remember it, but you had a car accident. And a very bad one too." She said worried as she was changing his bandages. "Don't worry, you haven't hurt anybody seriously. In fact, you were the one with the most injuries. But I'm glad that you feel better now. The doctor should be here soon." She said as she got out of the room.

And then the brat came in… In a white coat. Was he the doctor?!

"So, miss, how do you feel?" The rabbit-brat said with a slight grin.

Smoker decided that two could play the same game.

"Well, doctor, first: I'm a man, second: I'm fine, and third: I want to go home, right now." He said as calm and content as he could.

"First: I know that you're a man. I've seen it plenty of times when the nurses changed your bandages. Second: good. And third: that depends on how well you behave, so I would suggest you to be a good boy." He smiled at him, but that smile faded after a few moments. He came close to Smoker and started to talk in a low voice.

"Listen, I know that all this is annoying as hell for you" Smoker felt how warm the brat's body was when it was near his, which caused his heart to beat faster. And it scared him. "But I thought that you needed to loosen up a bit and I thought that this was the right method. Apparently, I was wrong! Anyway, the cops will be here soon to ask you about the accident, so I suggest you to get the hell out of here as long as you can. You can use the window." Ace finished his speech with a somewhat sad look in his eyes and was about to leave. Smoker was already dressed when he remembered something.

"What about you? They will probably accuse you for letting me run away." Smoker asked, surprised that he cared so much for the kid (that he cared at all).

"I'll be fine. You know that I always have the upper hand when dealing with things like this." He smiled weakly at him.

Smoker turned to the window, ready to go when he remembered something more important. "Who are you, kid?"

But there was no one in the room. He sighed, disappointed and made himself ready to leave. Looking at the city in front of him, he took a deep breath and jumped…

~*~

He was used now to not landing where he thought he would. So it wasn't that surprising that he landed in a huge cup of coffee, not really. But it was damn hot!

The waves of hot liquid splashed over his head, nearly drowning him, as someone lifted the cup towards their face. Looking up in horror, Smoker saw a huge, grey mustache come in view. From the gigantic mouth beneath it, rumbling laughter spilled out.

He screamed, for once in his life he screamed in fear of being swallowed by his Boss. But the shouts fell for deaf ears, no one heard him and he found himself disappearing into a huge cave, along with this damn coffee, his second favorite drug…

~*~

And then it was dark. It was very dark and he really didn't see anything or anyone. Absolute, bitter, lonely darkness. And then there was that brat.

"I knew that you would bother me even in this shitty black hole" Smoker said, surprised that his voice sounded so relieved.

But Ace didn't say anything. He just got closer and closer. Smoker heart started to speed up and his breathing got shallow. The brat was so damn close, so close that their lips almost touched. Almost…

He opened his eyes and found that he was starring at his boss' grandkid, whose face was a few inches away from his. And he figured that he couldn't breathe.

"Aw, good morning, Smokey!" The always cheerful kid said as he was sitting on Smokers chest.

"Luffy! Get the hell off me, I can't breathe! And what are you doing here anyway?!" Smoker said as pushed the kid not too gently off him.

"Gramps said that it would be really nice if I go to your place and wake you up, so you wouldn't be late for work!"

Shitty, old, fucker! "I don't need you to wake me up… And how the hell did you got in here anyway?" Smoker said, irritated.

"Well, thru the front door, of course!" Luffy said with a big smile on his face.

"Yeah, I got that, but how? You don't have a key and…. Oh, hell, NO!" Smoker came into his living room to see the front door smashed apart. Luffy was strong, even if he didn't look like it.

"Yeah, sorry about that. But the door was in my way!" The kid said apologetically. "Now, get dressed so we can go!"

Smoker went to his closet and was glad to see that there weren't any dresses in it. But, why should there be dresses anyway… He didn't know.

"Soooo, you never told me that you had a boyfriend." Luffy said as he went through the fridge.

"What?! You idiot, where did that come from? I don't have a boyfriend!" he yelled.

"Are you sure? You said something about a 'stupid-idiot-rabbit-brat' when you were asleep."

And then everything came back… The tea party, the bullets, the beach, the hippies… And The Rabbit! Suddenly, Smoker felt very warm and dizzy, and he stopped dead in his tracks. The whole shit he went through was all a dream. Everything! Even the rabbit-brat… And then Smoker felt very disappointed all of a sudden.

"Come on, Smokey, we don't have the whole day!" Luffy was getting impatient, so Smoker shoved him through the hole in his apartment and went down to the street with him.

And there he was! "Hey, Ace, I finally got him out of bed!" Luffy said happily, as he went to his brother's car. Smoker just stood there and stared at Ace who was grinning at him. He couldn't believe it. The rabbit and Ace was the same person! And he hadn't figured it out earlier! Maybe the rabbit-brat wasn't real, but Ace was! Smoker was overwhelmed by his emotions.

"Hey, Smokey, how are y-ughhhhhhh!" He couldn't finish the sentence, because Smoker slammed his face down into the pavement under him.

As Luffy was laughing like a mad man at the scene and Ace glared at him from under his hat as he got into the driver's seat, Smoker was sure that that was a night he would never forget!

The End… Or something like that!

A/N 1; GreenSan!

Yatta! Finally I got to do a collab!! I love you Fary for going with my crazy ideas, this was really fun to do!!! (Holy crap that was a lot of exclamation points! XD)

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed reading this strange story and will keep your eyes open for what our two crazy minds will come up with next! ^^

Mata ne~!

A/N 2; Far away yet so near!

Ow, I loved to work with you too, baby! And for the readers… If you think that the story isn't good, it's all GreenSan's fault. But if you think that it's good, then it's our both fault! XD

Uhhhh…. There's gonna be more? I can't wait to read that! *jumps up and down*

Have a nice day! ;-)