"Jace, I am your father," the menacing figure shrouded in darkness said...menacingly.
***flashback***
"Whoa, random flashback, anyway, I'm ahead of myself. I should probably start at the beginning, hence the flashback." Jace said casually. He was sitting in a red velvet armchair, stroking a Persian cat. His cheap, drugstore glasses were sitting on the bridge of his chiseled nose. The only thing odd about this scene was the fact that the armchair was on the middle of Pandemonium's dance floor, and the cat was blue. Okay, maybe not the only thing odd. Strangely, the dancers didn't seem to see him, except one.
"OMGZ! He has a blue cat!" a spindly ginger said.
"What the heck?" a nerd-boy with your cliché nerd glasses and a D&D shirt sporting an oddly familiar women in a fur bikini.
"Whoa, it's that one mundie game. We learned about it in Mundane Folklore." Jace mused. "Oh, wait, wrong flashback," he says, finally noticing that the ginger can see him. He takes out a remote and presses a neon green button shaped like Tinkerbell.
The world dissolved into fairy dust.
***the studio***
Jace looks around in confusion, "Umm, I think my remote is broken." he meekly handed the remote to the towering figures that happened to have steam blowing out their huge ears.
The ferocious brunette spun on her heel to face the ginger typing away on the keyboard. "My ears are perfectly fine sized you ginger!"
Jace screams out, "Catfight!"
The figure turns towards the gorgeous brunette, giving her an evil soulless ginger stare down. She soon went all soulfilled and sang Paramore.
"Ummm, soulless ginger, your kinda supposed to be killing her, why are you singing?" asked Jace
"To keep my anger down for I am stronger than that horrible race of man!" the ginger yells patriotically.
"Um, okay." Jace said and sinks back into the chair to watch the show.
"What an idea! What an idea. You have that same cruel mind that made scar so powerful... whoa quoting lion king, weird."
"Okay, can we go back to my flashback now, i'm kind of trying to tell the tale of my real father." shiver... "So let me back to my story. Please. Cause I kind of want to go meet up with a drunken Magnus right about no..."
"Shut up blondie, not everything's about you." Said the gorgeous brunette. Jace broke down in pathetic blonde-boy tears.
"Yes it is, my daddy told me so, so its true! I am soooooo much cooler than you you you, mean old big eared kangaroo!" Jace said.
"Did the blonde freak just call me a...ima gonna kill im" she says in a random british accent. They ran at each other in anger.
Now to the meditating soulless ginger.
"Hello!" she said cheerfully and weirdly not soulless ginger sounding.
"I'm Jacinda and that is EnAbyss," she says pointing to the brunette. Her voice is sickeningly like a flight attendant saying 'We're about to crash, thank you for flying on Soulless Ginger Airlines!'.
"And of course, that," she points to the blond-boy-wonder, "is Jace. You may be asking why the heck is Jace here. Well, it's certainly not to fight with EnAbyss, I assure you."(throws a random shoe at Enabyss's head, though EnAbyss seemed to think it was Jace and said the worst thing possible)
"You idiotic dye-job blonde fricken freak!"
"Well you can see where that is going, sooo, with somehow, the soulless ginger being the reasonable one. We made Jace bcause we are just that cool...hehehe"(nervous laugh)
"Liar"screams a bruised Jace who somehow is still alive. "Do not underestimate a brunette's wraith! Trust me, learned from personal experience. Tell them the truth" said Jace finished in a seductive voice.
Jacinda slaps Jace, leaving a pink mark on his already purple face. "Come on tell the truth, i'll kiss you..." ***crack*** Another pink mark join's the first on Jace's face. "Please, I can sue you you soulless ginger!"...
"Don't threaten me with your blonde blather or I will sick my powers of darkness upon you, for I am the soulless ginger." She cackles while flames pour over her already red hair and her eyes glow blood red. Horns protrude from her head as a pitchfork form in her clawed hand.
"Um, why is she turning into the devil?"
"Duh, cause she is the soulless ginger." said the evil brunette with anger issues. "She goes out at night Killing kittens and making rude hand gestures at nuns." (hehe, city of ashes quote) said the brunette flipping her super fabulous hair.
"Well doesn't that make you sort of boring compared to a soulless ginger that turns into the devil?" said Jace. She looked at him in a way that said 'are you serious'.
"Well lets me see, I have stolen up to $700,000,000 in cash from this one billionaire and spent it on getting you pulled from your book, getting a few rights from the almighty Cassandra clare, who wanted way too much money for you. I killed hitler and ate him all those years ago, thats why there is no body left, spent thirty years in jail and twice that in an insane asylum meeting people of my own value. Oh and I bit someones hand off..."counting on fingers "Twelve times. One time it was a foot. Oh and I enjoy imagining my classmates dead, or them turning into Zombies so I can go all Resident Evil on them and kill them all..."
"So, how old are you?" asked the brainless blonde.
"Oh no Jacinda, he must have found us out, get ready to run..." the ranting brunette looked over at Jace, "Oh wait just asking before we disappear randomly, why did you mess up our totally cooly made remote with a Tinkerbell button! Jerk-face, dye-job, blonde creep-show!" EnAbyss gave Jace a final glare and looked at the soulless ginger. They disappeared with Jeopardy music playing randomly in the background.
"Okay, weird, sorta awkward, but just plain weird," Jace said to himself. He turned to the audience, "Anyway, those two psychopaths were the authors. And I don't know if you heard the disclaimer but JacindaWeire and EnterAbyss29.21 don't own anything related to the Mortal Instruments. Not even me, even if they say they do!" he flashes a 1000 watt smile. "Next time, I'll hopefully escape this psych ward so I can finish telling the rest of my story." Jace gives a farewell saulute. :D