A/N: Hey guys! So, this is my very first attempt on a crossover fanfic. I want to thank luvtheheaven(whose fics you should check if you're a Jess and Literati fan) and beatlechicksteph for their amazing help beta-ing it for me. They did an amazing job and I really appreciate it. I also want to give a special thank you to MissGoalie75, who was one of the biggest inspirations for me to write this fanfiction after I read her amazing series of oneshots(also Literati).
On another note, in case you don't know what's Towel Day, it's a date created by Douglas Adams fans in honor to his life and to his most famous work, the series The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and it's been celebrated since 2001(two weeks after he passed), you can learn more about it on towelday(dot)org
I hope you enjoy it and please, tell me what you think through reviews. Good or bad, they make every author's day.
It hadn't been more than four days when Jess picked his favorite place in California. It wasn't much like the bridge back in Stars Hollow. The very memory of anything related to that place still brought him some dark feelings. Nor was it like the bench in Washington Square Park from his years in New York. Unlike those other places, he didn't appreciate the outside in Venice: the beach and humidity in the air seemed to have a weird effect on his books and margin notes.
Lily was actually the one who introduced him to the place. One day, when he was bored and lonely at their house, he opened the wardrobe she was in to take his coat to go out, and she followed him. After a while of trying to escape her, and with no idea of where he should go anyway, he asked her where she liked to go when she was sick of staying home. The answer surprised him; she simply started to walk to the bus stop and approximately two hours later they arrived at CalTech. After a few minutes of walking, they arrived at the Millikan Library, which he came to enjoy immediately.
There was something there that brought his attention. Everyone in there seemed serious and self-absorbed which made things much easier for him, because it meant he wouldn't have to chitchat or play nice with anyone. Jess wasn't the biggest fan of science geeks, but as long as they kept ignoring him and allowed him to hang out at their library, they would all get along just fine. Lily also ended up being great company – more than he cared to admit. There were very few people in the world he liked to be around and she was definitely one of them.
She was really intelligent. She was a little weird with her habits of reading in dark places like closets and wardrobes, but it didn't hurt anyone, and most geniuses had weird quirks, too, so he didn't think it was such a bad thing after all. Besides, just like him, she loved books and could carry a meaningful conversation for hours if she wanted to but most of the time she didn't. The fact that she wasn't talkative just added to the reasons why he was so fond of her.
As for her opinion, she was crazy about him. He was the brother she'd been hoping for ever since her mother, Sasha, and Jimmy started dating. She had even requested in a letter that they should get her a brother or sister, and when they told her that Jess was going to stay with them for a while, she thought that somehow they had arranged that gift for her.
They bonded pretty soon. It was on the day after his arrival; she was hiding under the sofa reading War of The Worlds when he saw her while looking for his shoes, he smirked when he read the title and commented she should read The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy series as soon as she finished that one, which made her frown and say that she had never heard about it before.
"And you've never read The Meaning of Liff, either?" he raised his eyebrows, surprised. She shook her head. "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency?" he asked again.
"I'll save us both some time and say it's a 'no, I haven't read it' to any book written or co-signed by Douglas Adams," she sighed and returned to reading her own book.
Jess pondered for a moment, then, he grabbed the girl's arm and pulled her out from under the bed. She let out a surprised yell as she was being pushed outside the house.
"What are you doing? Where are we going? Jess?" she asked, confused by his reaction to her not knowing Douglas Adams or his works.
"We're going to knock some sense into your head," he replied cryptically. She wondered what that meant and if he was literally going to knock something on her. She didn't offer any resistance, though. Instead, she rolled her eyes and followed him down the street, not without thinking that maybe the place he had run away from was some sort of Mental Health Institute. If she ever said that to Jess he would tell her she wasn't very far away from reality.
They continued their walk silently until they arrived to the nearest bookstore. It wasn't the best bookstore he had ever been – too many dull bestsellers and fake literature lovers, who had never even touched a copy of the classics The Catcher in the Rye or The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn but considered Dan Brown the greatest author of all time.
Lily followed him through the shelves, he handed her a book every once in a while, she read the title and put it on a pile at her side. Most of them were written by Douglas Adams, and she looked at him puzzled.
"Jimmy might have a good collection, but he's still lacking some essential reading material," Jess explained as he helped Lily with the books and they made their way to the counter.
"You're kidding. He has the biggest personal library I've ever seen in my life," the girl said clearly impressed and out of breath as she tried to pile the books on the counter, but wasn't tall enough to reach it.
"It's a fair assumption, considering you've never seen mine or…" he trailed off; it was still too hard for him to bring her up. He clenched his jaw and hoped that the little girl by his side wouldn't notice he hadn't finished his sentence and would just drop the subject. She stared at him for a while; she watched him as the attendant told them the price of all the books. She watched him as he handed the attendant the money and when he got the change and shoved it in his back pocket. She opened her mouth to say something as he was taking the bags with the books, but he was faster.
"These are yours. Now, normally I'd write some margin notes before handing them to you, but I noticed you enjoy doing it yourself. Besides, you can't afford to waste any more time without reading these books. So, here you go," he gave her one of the bags and they started to walk their way back home. Not allowing her touch the bookshelf subject again.
That was the day the obsession started. Lily was hooked, both on Douglas Adams works and on her stepbrother because of that nice gesture he did for her. Ever since, they started to go to the library on a regular basis. She would always talk to him to discuss the latest book she had read when they were their way back home from the Millikan Library.
It had been almost two weeks since Jess had arrived in California, and that specific day Lily decided to stare patiently as he was asleep and clueless on his mattress. It took her a few minutes until she got overly excited to wait for the moment when he'd naturally wake up and she decided to literally throw in the towel.
He jumped out a little; it took him a few seconds for him to collect himself again. He looked at his lap, picked up the green piece of fabric that was lying there, and then stared at the grinning girl standing in front of him.
"What's this?" he asked moodily.
"And here I was thinking you were so smart," she scoffed.
"Sorry to disappoint you," he replied sarcastically and lay on the bed again, trying to hide his smirk of approval: he never thought someone so young could be so witty.
"It's May 25th," she announced suggestively.
"And you wanted to give me the big news before I read it in the calendar?" it was his turn to mock her. He raised one of his eyebrows, truly puzzled and curious to see where this would lead.
She rolled her eyes and sighed disappointed; whatever it was, it was serious business for her and she was starting to get impatient with his attitude. "It's Towel Day," she stated, as if it was obvious.
He frowned; his eyes kept shifting from Lily to the green piece of cloth and back to the girl, there was a subtle smile playing in her lips and it took him a while before he finally saw the whole picture.
"No," he said defiantly, finally getting out of his mattress.
"Jess!" she cried, also standing up from her seat. "You were the one who introduced me to this. It's your obligation to support it!"
"No, it's not," he replied in amazement, already getting ready to leave the room. He turned around to give her one last denial look before vanishing through the door but regretted it immediately. Instead of seeing an infuriated youngster, he saw a pouting one, who was ready to start to bawl at any second. She wasn't really this upset about Jess's reaction, she had anticipated it and they both knew it, but they also knew that once she started the drama it could go on for hours, it could also end up involving Sasha and Jimmy and he really didn't want to handle all this only because of a stupid towel. Besides, he really wanted to finish adding some margin notes to Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code before Lily took the book for herself.
"Fine," he sighed defeated, taking the towel and throwing it over his shoulder. She had a grin from ear to ear as she picked her own yellow towel and followed him. She didn't dare to say anything, though, afraid that he would change his mind.
"We'll be back for dinner," she shouted happily to her mother as they stepped on the sidewalk and made their way to the car to get to the library.
X
"Can you believe we are only a few weeks from graduating?" a short brunette man wearing heavy glasses excitedly asked the other three men accompanying him. One of them seemed to be Indian; another one was very tall and had a weird resemblance to a gigantic praying mantis and the last one was the shortest one in the group and had a very questionable taste in clothes and hairstyles.
"No," the gigantic praying mantis look-alike said skeptically.
The other three men stared at him annoyed, but he stared back seeming oblivious to what had caused their distasted reaction.
"I know, I can't wait to start on my master's degree in engineering," the tiny one with the very disturbing taste in fashion replied, ignoring the tall one.
"And stop there, obviously," he continued stubbornly.
"Why are we friends with him again?" the engineering student asked impatiently to the man with glasses.
The man with glasses glanced apologetically at the smallest one and they all continued their walk silently until they reached the Millikan Library to study for their finals. They scanned the place, looking for an available table that would fit the four of them comfortably and also be approved by the tallest one's strict sitting rules.
"Oh my God, look," the guy with glasses whispered after a while to his friends while his head signaled to a young man and to a little girl sitting at one of the tables in the corner, both reading quietly.
"Were you bullied by him during high school?" the man with bad taste in clothes whispered back, confused.
"Do we have to confront him? I'm wearing my new underwear and I have a nervous bladder," the Indian guy asked as silently as he could.
"No guys, look at the towels," the man with glasses corrected. The other three stared at the couple again, and then looked at each other excitedly.
"Do you think they're one of us?" the little one asked unsure.
"The girl, maybe, but look at the guy, he really seems like the type that used to bully us in high school," the man with glasses observed, sounding slightly less excited.
"It could be a gym towel…but what would a gym guy be doing in a library?" the little one pointed out.
"Maybe he got lost," the Indian mocked, causing them all to chuckle.
"Should we talk to them?" the man with glasses asked.
"Oh dear Lord, do we really have to socialize? Isn't it enough you force me to be around Koothrappali and Wolowitz, Leonard?" the tall one complained to the one with glasses.
"I think it's worth a shot. They could be nice," the man now identified as Leonard argued.
"Or they could be muggers," the tall one replied stubbornly crossing his arms.
"Come on," Leonard insisted and they all started to walk toward the couple's table. Neither of them seemed to have noticed the four men's presence, the man with glasses had to clear his throat a few times before he was finally able to catch the teenager's attention, who looked at them completely uninterested.
"Hi…" Leonard greeted hesitantly, and the men behind him gave the teenager and the little girl an awkward wave, which caused him and her to glance at each other confused.
"What do you want, Rivers Cuomo?" he asked impatiently, making the little girl giggle at the reference.
"I'm Leonard Hofstadter," the guy corrected him. "And this is Rajesh Koothrapalli," he said, pointing to the Indian man. "He's Howard Wolowitz," he continued, this time moving his index finger to the shortest of them all, "and he's Sheldon Cooper," he finished pointing to the last one with a nervous grin.
The teenager muttered something before returning to his book, the little girl, however, smiled back at him. "I'm Lily," she replied.
"Oh, hi, Lily, and who's your friend?" Leonard asked sympathetically. The teenager looked away from his book again and stared at Lily – she wasn't supposed to be talking to strangers, her mother should have taught that to her by now.
"He's my older pseudo-stepbrother, Jess." She informed with a grin. It was now the four men's turn to look at each other confused. "Our parents haven't really made their relationship official yet," she explained quickly, which only made the question marks above their heads look bigger. "Anyways, he doesn't talk much, but he's really smart."
Jess looked even more intensely at her; she was giving way too much information way too easily and even though he believed he could take the four guys all by himself without much effort, the very thought that she would behave like this even if he wasn't around her to offer her this kind of protection scared him. She was usually so clever; he couldn't believe she could be so naïve in this situation.
The information she provided, though, attracted the attention of one of them in a different way than Jess feared.
"Really? How old were you when you first got your PhD?" Sheldon asked challengingly.
"Why do you care?" Jess muttered harshly. Lily stared at him disturbed by his behavior, she had never seen him act like that with anyone, but then, she had never seen him interact with anyone aside herself and their family for that long. She looked at the four men and they seemed equally clueless on what they should do next.
"I'm sorry, but if you guys don't have any business with us, we'd like to get back on our reading, that's what libraries are for, you know…" she smiled politely at them and looked reluctantly to Jess, hoping that dismissing them like that would make him get back to normal.
"You have towels," Howard stated. "And so do we, see?" he shook his towel on his shoulder, followed by Rajesh and Leonard. Sheldon didn't show his, but she could see his, too, resting on his shoulder with a little print of Marvin, Megatron, C3PO and R2D2.
Her face glowed and she looked at Jess, shaking in excitement, but he seemed to hold back his adrenaline way better than she did because he simply shrugged and tried again to concentrate on his book.
"We are big Douglas Adams fans," she declared with a nod, showing her own towel with the words "DON'T PANIC" sewed on it. They all looked at it with visible enthusiasm.
"So I assume you both have read everything from the transcript of the 45th episode of 'Monty Python's Flying Circus'to The Salmon of Doubt, published posthumously last year," Sheldon said in a provocative tone.
"Actually, everything from reading The Private Life of Genghis Khan, which he co-wrote with Graham Chapman to The Salmon of Doubt, that are his truly printed books, but we did watch Doctor Who and Monty Python, and we also watched an edited version of Footlights Revue, with some of his early work that aired in 1974, if you're so concerned," Jess corrected him, turning another page of his book.
The tall man's face twitched weirdly with the same idiosyncrasy that happened every time someone corrected or provoked him about something of which he knew quite a bit about. His friends watched his expression, all of them trying really hard to suppress their laughs.
"I don't like him, Leonard," he muttered, crossing his arms and staring defiantly to the teenager boy with the bad attitude. "I happen to be working on my second PhD on theoretical physics, I certainly don't need to waste my time studying something as frivolous as literature," he emphasized the last word with disdain.
"You should go tell Goethe this, then," Jess replied sarcastically.
"The little aristocratic brat who defied Newton's ideal conditions to study refraction of colors?" Sheldon scorned.
"Yup, the useless bookworm with an IQ of 210 who dismissed the theory of an alchemist," the other one confirmed with a smirk.
"For your information, his experiments with alchemy only lasted 20 years, and it only became acknowledged to the public in 1930, besides it was parallel to his studies on gravity and his publication of Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy. So it's not very bright to dismiss a genius' entire contribution to the world based on an admittedly idiotic theory such as alchemy," the tall one retorted.
"I agree. But you think it's valid to dismiss another genius' entire contribution to the world if he spent a good share of his lifetime writing about people who sold their souls to the Devil, which happens to be considered nowadays a masterpiece of German literature?" Jess reciprocated.
"Yes!" the other one confirmed stubbornly.
"Why?" the teenager argued.
The tall geek tried to elaborate a few answers, before coming with his final response. "Because his real best contribution to the world was to make a bunch of mindless people commit suicide."
"Amen to that," Jess chuckled as he simulated raising a glass in a toast, which caused Lily to grin proudly at him.
"I'm done with this nonsense," Sheldon said impatiently. "You're wrong," he said to Jess, and then he turned to his roommate. "I'll be in the car," he grumped, crossing his arms and staring at his group. They all shrugged their shoulders indifferently, causing him to take the keys and angrily walk away from them.
The librarian shushed them, then continued to nap at her desk.
"Can we join you?" Leonard muttered shyly.
"Sure, here," Lily replied happily, taking hers and Jess' stuff from the seats. "Nice towel," she commented sympathetically to Rajesh, who flinched immediately.
"What's his problem?" Jess frowned in surprise, but not really interested in the answer.
"It's nothing, he just… he doesn't talk to women, it's nothing to be worried about," Leonard replied hesitantly, with an encouraging smile.
"She's a kid," he raised his eyebrows suspiciously staring at the Indian guy.
"She's a female," Howard corrected.
"She's nine years old," Jess insisted, suddenly thinking the situation was getting even weirder than it was a few minutes ago, if that was possible.
"Don't worry, it's not a creepy thing, he can't even talk to my mom, and I'm still not sure if she's really a woman," Howard shrugged.
He was right, it wasn't just creepy - it was much freakier than he ever thought it could be. Jess thought about leaving, but he didn't want to be the kind of guy who thought a girl couldn't take care of herself. He had always hated the bossy types of guys and it was up to Lily to decide whether she would be bothered by this or not, besides, as long as the Indian guy continued to be only afraid of her, he couldn't see why the guy would be a real potential threat.
"My girlfriend studies French literature…" Leonard started reticently in yet another attempt to carry a conversation.
"Huh, Proust, Voltaire, Sartre… not bad," Jess commented, showing just a very little spark of interest. The guy smiled enthusiastically and opened his mouth to answer, but Howard had cut him off.
"Please, girlfriend? She doesn't even know your name, you stumbled on her once in the cafeteria and you started to fantasize she was the woman of your life," he scoffed, shaking his head and looking pitifully at his friend.
"Shut up!" Leonard cried, which caused the librarian to echo his words and place her head on her other arm. Jess rolled his eyes and sighed impatiently.
"So… 42…" Lily started, trying to keep the conversation going. Leonard and Howard nodded and smiled.
They all spent a long time debating Douglas Adams' works before moving to H. G. Wells, until, at some point while discussing Brave New World, Sheldon returned complaining about the time they had been there and how he didn't appreciate how his friends ignored his pleas to keep their group of friends restricted. Nobody said anything, which made him sit with them, defeated and ask what they were talking about that was so much more important than their schedule. Leonard answered they were discussing the Brontë sisters and Jane Austen, knowing that his friend's face would twitch in a funny way again.
This led Howard to admit he had never read Pride and Prejudice, and instead, went straight to Pride and Promiscuity: The Lost Sex Scenes of Jane Austen, which he thought would be much more interesting. The commentary left Lily and Jess with a look of distaste. They both had strong opinions that nobody should mess with a classic in literature.
"It's just like remixed songs that were already perfect the way they were. It's just like 'Just A Little Bit Of Chaos'," Jess cringed, remembering the day he found out a perfectly good line as 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go' was ruined forever by some techno singers.
"Or Madonna's version of 'American Pie'," Lily agreed; receiving an emphatic nod from her stepbrother that caused her to blush flattered. The four geeks, though, stared at the couple looking confused; even though they could carry any intellectual conversation they were completely oblivious to pop culture.
"It's like the remake of Planet of the Apes," Jess tried again.
"Now, hold on a second, while this remake unarguably sucked, some remakes are sometimes actually welcome," Sheldon disagreed.
"Yes, better special effects, hot age-appropriate ladies," Howard enumerated.
"The complete dismiss of the original idea…" Jess added sarcastically. "You simply don't mess with Austen just as much as you don't mess with Schaffner," he declared conclusively.
Leonard opened his mouth to argue, but was stopped by Sheldon, who brushed his watch on the other one's face showing him the hour. Leonard scratched the back of his head nervously and stared at the teenager and the little girl.
"We, uh, we're late, we have this part for Towel Day right here on campus in a few minutes and we don't want to be late," he said apologetically, standing up. "Unless, you guys want to come with us?" he tried unsure.
Lily's eyes widened at the invitation and to the idea of going to a real Towel Day party; she looked anxiously at Jess, hoping he would accept to go there.
He pondered about it for a while, but as much as they happened to be not half as bad as he had expected them to be, they were still four strangers and anything that happened to Lily would be his responsibility. Besides, he really didn't want to go to any parties. Especially a college party. Especially a geeky college party.
"We're going to have to take a rain check on that," Jess finally said politely.
"But next Towel Day is next year!" Lily cried.
"You told Sasha we would be back home for dinner," he shrugged his shoulders. "See you," he said to the geeks, getting up, taking his book from the table and starting to walk away.
"Sorry," Lily said to them sadly. "It was nice meeting you. Happy Towel Day," she said as she grabbed her own stuff and ran off to meet Jess.
Leonard, Howard, Rajesh and Sheldon watched them as they disappeared through the shelves before taking their own way.
"So, what time is it?" Rajesh finally asked when he made sure the little girl was nowhere near them.
"18:30:17," Sheldon responded. "Which means we're going to arrive four minutes and thirty-eight seconds late approximately," he continued, looking at his high-precision watch.
"Damn," they all muttered, disappointed.
"They were nice," Leonard said after a few minutes of them walking in silence.
"Yes, do you think we'll hang out with them again soon?" Rajesh asked excited.
"That would be cool," Leonard replied equally excited. "Maybe we should invite them to one of our Planet of the Apes marathons. They sounded like they liked the original movie."
"Hold on a second. Nobody is inviting anyone to anything before we check their entire criminal record and have them tested, understood?" Sheldon said.
"Yes, Sheldon," the three of them replied in unison.
X
Jess and Lily walked quietly side by side to the car. She kept wondering if he was upset about something, and she glanced at him every once in a while, but he kept his eyes on the horizon, never turning to her to check if she was still following him. His facial and body expression also didn't signalize anything. She came up with a few conversation starters in her head, but none of them would have seemed natural enough for him to not catch her worried tone underneath.
They walked to the car; he opened the door for her before taking the driver's seat, which calmed her a little, even though she couldn't come up with a reason why he wouldn't open her door this time. He fastened his own seat belt and they started riding back home.
"Thanks Jess," she said quietly as they took the first road out of the University. He glanced at her slightly confused and shrugged. "Today was great," she explained, and he shrugged again. "Oh, come on, now you look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't enjoy it."
"It was okay," he shrugged indifferently once more.
"No, Jess, it was more than okay, it was great. Those guys had an IQ comparable to William James Sidis' and you still managed to impress them many times. That was amazing," she corrected him slightly annoyed with his tone.
"That's because we were mostly discussing literature, if they had attempted to say anything about string theory or whatever it is those science geeks studied, I'd be lost," he explained bluntly.
"Don't pretend you're humble," she scoffed. "You loved it just as much as you love the University and its library."
"Excuse me?" he asked confused.
"You're going to deny this too, aren't you? You're impossible! You just fit in there and you know it. I don't mean college specifically, but you're bigger than 'the nineteen year old high school drop out who lives with his father and has to find an awful job just to pay the bills' and you know it, you know you can do so much more, but you're too stubborn to admit it. God!" she ranted, and then turned to face the window with her arms crossed, determined to stay mad at him until the end of the day.
He sat quietly. Her speech had saddened him; it wasn't the first time someone had said something like this to him, but ever since disappointing the only two people who ever believed in him and then moving away, he was sure he wouldn't ever find someone with this much faith in him again. He glanced at her one more time and swallowed.
"Happy Towel Day," he muttered with a sad smile.
She uncrossed her arms and looked at him, noticing the new tone in his voice. She looked at him apologetically and gave him an encouraging grin. She showed him her towel and pointed to the words "DON'T PANIC" on it. He smiled again, this time feeling slightly better.