The Apple Woman

When a certain relation, one of the elder-generation, of Zach's comes to Gallagher, things well become interesting with the Apple Woman around. Rachel/Joe Zach/Cammie

A/N Well last night I had a dream about Rachel and Joe, and Joe said "We need to talk" and then promptly changed his shirt in Rachel's room. It then progressed to talking about the "Apple Woman." And I just had this scene in my mind of an old woman on an apple farm. I don't really know where this is going, but it's probably set after Don't Judge a Girl...so an AU of OGSY. It's going to have Rachel/Joe undertones and probably Zach/Cammie

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Rachel POV

It was the start of a new term, Joe had already said he'd be late for reasons he'd promised to tell me first night back; and now here he was in the Entrance hall, surrounded by a gaggle of girls.

He caught my shirt as I was going up the stairs, tugging it gently. I looked down and smirked at him.

He smiled back, his cocky grin plastered over his face, but then out of the blue he tugged me down a step, his face so close to mine. To an outsider it would have looked to be an action far too inappropriate in a school, between two teachers. But I knew Joe had ulterior motives, his lips moved slowly by my ear, whispering.

"We need to talk."

I nodded, pursued my lips and with a quick glance hinted with my eyes up the stairs, to my room. He followed me as I walked against the tide of girls, I could feel Solomons presence without having to turn around. He would never pass up an opportunity to see my room, god he was such a man.

When we reached it, I strode in and dumped some files on my desk, leaving Joe to pull his bags into the room and swiftly shut the door.

"We have a problem."

"What?" I responded. He was close to me, closer than what was expected of two colleagues. But oh god was I not complaining

"The apple-woman is in danger."

His face was so serious, that I just cracked up, I snorted, actually snorted. Joe always refused to refer to her, by her name. She was and always would be 'the apple-woman'.

"What..? What's so funny?" Joe said, annoyed by my response.

He took a step back from me and I instantaneously felt bad.

"Sorry...just...the apple woman?" I raised my eyebrows, hand on hip. "Are you still 25?"

Joe pouted. Yes pouted. "Well she's scary.."

"Hmm yes a 60 year old woman on an apple farm is scary, yes appropriate adjectives if I've ever seen one." I said sarcastically.

Joe rolled his eyes, and unzipped in case, pulling out a t-shirt. Halfway between pulling his t-shirt off and putting another one on, my mind actually registered what the hell he was doing. My mouth drawled slightly at the sight of his abs. The good thing about Joe was that he didn't do this type of thing for attention, or I certainly hoped not, he did it because he was conscientious about time and speed. We were needed, (I disappointedly dropped my gaze from his exposed chest and to my watch) in precisely 10 minutes in the dining hall. He was only trying to get things done quickly...right?

"but anyway." Joe said, stopping slightly when he saw my gaze on him, smirking.

Oh god what had I'd just done, I'd just added to his already 'as big as Florida' ego.

"I'm irresistible huh?" Joe whispered flirtatiously.

"urgh umm yeah." I mumbled not really registering what he said.

"What?" He said in surprise, not expecting that response.

"Wait. Urgh." 2 seconds later my mind had actually registered what the hell I'd said. "No..no." I said shaking my head.

"You're so cute when you're speechless." Joe said.

I rolled my eyes, cursed myself for my lack of control and stepped closer to him. "Your buttons are all wrong." I told him.

He turned scarlet at his toddler mistake, and it was my turn to smirk at him as I carefully undid his shirt buttons with my manicured fingers. I was done undoing them, careful as to not stare at his chest, when I asked. "So what's going on with Diane?" I stressed the word Diane, to reiterate the contrast between her real name and Joe's cute nickname for the older woman.

I was just about to put the button through the little whole when two things happened at once.

Joe went to open his mouth. And an unmistakably loud voice, a very feminine voice at that, blared from the Entrance Hall.

Joe and I immediately looked up, my eyes bulging.

"What the hell is she doing here?" I asked my mouth slightly open.

"Shit." He whispered. "I told her to wait in the car."

"WHAT?" I said in surprise.
"Quick, let's..." He trailed off, grabbed my hand and raced out of the room to see what all the commotion was about. We reached the top of the stairs, to see a funny sight. The girls were everywhere, but they for once were speechless, all staring at a petite looking old woman, wearing a brown wide brimmed hat with an owl stuck on it. Like a real stuffed owl. She wore an emerald green 'robe' it was seem, similar to what you'd find in Harry Potter not in a girls boarding school, in broad daylight.

"What are you doing here? I told you to wait in the car." Joe yelled down the stairs.

The woman looked up and smirked. "Do your shirt up Solomon! I do not want to know what you and Rachel have been doing."

Oh my God. Urgh...uhh...uhhh. Joe's face turned bright red, when every girl, in the entrance hall and the stairs turned to Joe, whose shirt I hadn't had the time to button up. His chest, abs and all were on show to every girl 12-18 at Gallagher. Oh god, and now they all thought that I...HIM...US.

"Oh god, this can't be happening." I thought. "What is Diane Thinking?"

My over-anylization of the situation was cut short by a person shoving their way towards the front of the crowd down below.

"Grandma?" Zach said speechless just as every girl, Joe and I were feeling.

Luckily for Joe, Zach's revelation, turned every girls heads from Joe's exposed chest (which he was desperately trying to cover up by haphazardly doing up the buttons) to him.

"Zachary, you do know this is a girls school, and that by definition you are a boy. Whatever are you doing here?" Diane questioned, eye brow raised.

All Zach could do was open his mouth, a pang of guilt washed over me, I felt sorry for him right now. This couldn't be any easier on him.

"Zachary, close your mouth, you don't want the wind to come along and you'll be stuck like that. Now come and give your Grandmother a hug." The woman announced.

Zach was visibly mortified, and it took a shove from Macey to push him forwards towards Diane. Before he was covered in layers of emerald silk by her, he looked up at me, with pleading eyes.

My embarrassment slid from my face instantaneously (he had learnt Joe's puppy dog eyes) and my Headmistress' glare returned. "You now have 4 minutes until dinner, I suggest you all continue getting ready, lateness will not be tolerated." I said seriously, my voice blaring around the hall.

All of the returning girls, knew my threat was serious and the tide of girls continued, my action had jolted Joe into action and I followed him down the stairs.

"I thought Joe had told you to stay in the car." I said, trying to keep my authority, but Diane has always had the ability to make even the President cry with mercy (and trust me that's not a lie).

Before Diane could respond I continued "Zach, you may not be a girl, but you are now a student here, and i suggest you do as I say and continue getting ready."

Diane relaxed her grip slightly, enough for Zach to peel himself away from his grandmothers grasp and head towards Cammie, Bex, Liz and Macey.

"Mom?" Cammie asked. "What's going on?"

This time, before i could respond Diane cut across. "Cameron, what a delight it is to see you again."

It was Cammie's turn to look perplexed. "Huh?"

Of course she wouldn't remember, and right now I didn't have the time to explain. I glanced at Zach, motioning with my eyes to move them all along; he could fill them in with what he knew. Which right now was probably just as much as I knew, and nothing near as much as Joe was going to tell me, after of course I'd slapped him senseless. What was he doing bringing Diane Goode, into Gallagher?

"Diane I must ask you to come to my office-" I started but Diane interrupted me again.

"Rachel I thought I'd heard you say "lateness will not be tolerated," surely you both would not like to be late to dinner yourselves; as my story will take much more than..." She glanced at her watch. "2 minutes to tell."

I gritted my teeth. "Very well, you may stay for dinner, but then I really must know what the hell is going on."

"No need to sound so angry Rachel, patience is a virtue." Diane said sweetly. "Now where may I put my things?"

Taking a deep breath. "Solomon, take them to my office and then escort Diane to dinner."

Joe glared me, 1 for calling him Solomon (he did deserve it though for bringing her here) and 2 for making him spend 'quality' time with Diana aka the Apple Woman (which again he deserved).

I smirked in a 'you know you love me really way' and held his gaze.

"Enough with the love bird scene, I am here." Diane said blatantly.

Oh God, this was going to be a very long dinner.

A/N Well, I hoped you liked it. R&R x I'm trying to get abck into the spring of writing just it doesn't always work out. I have much of 'How will things fare?" written now and I do promise to finish it.