Cruising and Cussing in California

By Shadowgate

….

Counselor Mackey entered Mister Garrison's classroom to discuss the "city/country project."

"Okay class I need your full attention umkay. The western states have implemented the city/country project. This project is a student exchange program. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric I have talked to all your parents and you'll be going to California. Normally it's a volunteer program but the four of you are not involved in any extra curricular activities."

Stan stood up and said "oh great you volunteered us just like last year when you volunteered us to go to that rainforest in South America."

Kyle replied "Stan has already jacked off enough in California."

Stan turned to Kyle and yelled "SHUT UP KYLE OR I'LL BUST YOUR SKULL!"

Counselor Mackey responded "now look you all are going to behave and stop threatening to kill each other. That jack off joke was not appropriate in the classroom. Furthermore if you four think you're getting out of going to California it will be over my dead body."

Kyle said "speaking of dead bodies have you read that there's a lethal drug shortage so they have had problems arranging lethal injections for convicted murderers?"

Cartman said "why don't they just bring back the electric chair?"

Mister Mackey said "boys" but was ignored and Kyle said "well if you were sentenced to death for murder Cartman you'd break the electric chair because you're so fat."

Cartman said "well then how about the gas chamber Kyle? It sure worked when it came time to get rid of all those pesky Jews back in Germany."

Kyle punched Cartman and then Kenny said "last night my dad got really drunk and he said that he thinks I'll be on death row someday. Then he threw up."

The whole class laughed and Mister Mackey pounded Mister Garrison's desk and said "GET QUIET AND PAY ATTENTION!"

They all get quiet and Counselor Mackey turns his back to write on the chalk board.

Cartman says "shh I'm going to sneak out."

Cartman quietly snuck out the door.

Counselor Mackey turns around and says "the reason we have the city/country project is because we want city kids and kids who live in country mountain towns like South Park to get to know each other. Hey wait, where is Eric Cartman?"

Kyle answered "he's gone."

Mister Garrison said "oh I was watching you write on the board Mister Mackey so I didn't see him sneak out. Well wherever he is I'll give him detention for sneaking out of class."

All of the sudden the intercom speaker comes on.

"Attention Mister Mackey I know you sit down when you go to the bathroom because you're nothing but a sissy faggot. I'll bet you love to suck big dicks at gay bars."

Every classroom was full of laughter.

Counselor Mackey was pissed and the next day Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman had to get on a school bus and go to California."

They stopped in Nevada at 8:30 PM and checked into the motel which was funded by the school.

Stan and Kenny spent the night in one room.

Kyle and Cartman spent the night in a different room.

The next day Mister Mackey returned to Mister Garrison's class to talk more about the city/country project. He asked if anyone else wanted to volunteer. Nobody wanted to volunteer.

All of the sudden the intercom speaker is heard and then Mister Garrison spoke "oh Mister Mackey you know I'm queer and I'd love to lick your ass all night long. Oh Mister Mackey when I think of you I just want to cum in my fucking pants."

Mister Mackey was still in Mister Garrison's class and did not notice that Mister Garrison had snuck out.

Mister Mackey got very pissed off and threw Mister Garrison's chair out the window.

Every student in South Park Elementary School laughed so hard.

"GODDAMN IT!" exclaimed Mister Mackey

Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman arrive at a large school. When they enter at 3PM they see a group of kids standing outside the school.

Phil Deville said "hey it's the state exchange kids."

Chucky says "I wonder if they'll think I'm a nerd or a trouble maker."

Phil stated "not off the bat but in a few days they'll know you're an accident prone hazard on two legs."

Chucky turned his head and said sarcastically "thanks Phil."

Stan saw a boy with spiked purple hair holding a sign that said "WELCOME SOUTH PARK STUDENTS"

After the four South Park students introduced themselves Tommy and his friends all introduced themselves.

Lil asked "hey where's Angelica?"

Kimmy answered "good question."

Angelica came around the corner and said "I'm right here Goddamn it!"

She then walked up beside Kimmy and said "so these are the hick dweebs."

Chucky said "you call everyone a dweeb even if you don't even know them."

Tommy turned to Angelica and asked "do you think you could be nice to them? I know for you being nice is harder than Algebra."

Dil says "I think I can get along with them. Especially if they're into inventing new things as well as aliens then that will be delightful."

Kyle said "Cartman was abducted by aliens and they sodomized him."

Cartman yelled "GOODAMN IT YOU FUCKING JEW BASTARD!"

Tommy said "oh my we have an anti-Semite among us."

Dil asked "if you're a Nazi where are your swastika tattoos?"

Stan said "maybe the aliens should have given him a swastika tattoo."

Angelica said "well it sure sucks to be you fat boy."

Cartman yelled "kiss my ass Princess Angelica."

Angelica yelled "I'M A PRINCESS AND YOU'RE A FAT LOSER!"

Angelica then grabbed Cartman's book bag and pulled a binder out of it.

Cartman said "give that back you bitch."

Angelica said "oh you're going to be a little bitch right now."

Angelica yanked Cartman's pants down as Cartman struggled to fight back but he was overpowered and then Angelica shoved the binder up his ass.

Stan, Kyle, and Kenny laughed their asses off. Angelica's classmates and her two cousins were in shock.

TO BE CONTINUED