Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece
Zoro, who lived on the Merry Go and the Thousand Sunny for quite a while, had learned many things by just observing his crew mates. This certain day, he picked a few tips and tricks by watching Nami...
Perona was in a bad mood. Her thin, ruby red lips were in a tight frown. Her eyes, usually wide open and bright like Usopp's, were half lidded and seemed glazed over. Her taut curls were messy with strands of hair poking out of the tie. She was grumbling quietly to herself while he and Perona was scrubbing the bathroom floor.
Zoro peered over at the princess, "You can take a break today."
Lesson one he learned from the navigator: when it is the time of month give the lady some space. By observing Luffy acting like a goofball around Nami during that time, he learned that one real fast.
Perona glared at Zoro, contemplated about the offer, and slapped him on the head, "It's not that idiot!" She snapped.
"Ow! What was that for?" Zoro snapped right back.
"It's an instinct." She changed the subject by rubbing her neck, "I'm having aches and pains."
"Hm."
Zoro lost interest already but she continued, "It's the stupid couches! I can't get any sleep!" the ghost princess started her crocodile tears, "I want to sleep in that lazy Shichibukai's bed...it was so nice and comfy."
As the swordsman listened to her rants, he realized she kind of had a point there. The couches they both were individually sleeping were great for sitting and reading. For sleeping purposes, the couches' fabric was velvet so it was uncomfortably warm to the touch and the cushions underneath was hard. Compared to Mihawk's bed, the bed was like a heaven cloud.
Before they found out that the castle and the whole island belonged to Mihawk, they freely used everything, of course the couch. Since the bedroom was the fairly cleaner room than the other cobwebbed, dustbunnies filled rooms, Perona and Zoro hung around there frequently. Now the owner came back the two visitors were left with the uncomfortable couches, watching the master swordsman sleep away during the night.
Zoro snorted, "Why don't you ask?"
"Ask what?"
"Ask if you can sleep in the bed."
Perona dropped her jaw and she screamed, "Sleeping with that man? No way!"
"You were sleeping with me."
"You don't look like you do anything even if a girl is naked!" Perona shrieked, "He's an old man! He could be a pervert!"
Pervert? Zoro stopped at the comment and pressed his hand over his chin in thought. Perona, noticed his sudden behavior, held her mop in place and stared at the swordsman. She was about to ask when he dropped his sponge into a soapy bucket and headed toward the door.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to try to ask." Zoro answered without turning.
"How-wait, I'll go with you!" Perona yelled as she flung her mop onto the wet floor which landed with a loud bang. She followed briskly after Zoro.
Zoro strode through the hallway and made three wrong turns before he reached the lounging room (with Perona's help since she was getting impatient). Mihawk was there as usual, reading the daily magazine while sipping his wine. Before Zoro entered the doorway he lifted a hand at Perona, "Stay here." She nodded and waited at the door, planning to peek.
Lesson two and three from Nami...proceed.
"Hawk Eyes!" Zoro approached Mihawk in a normal fashion, by meaning, slamming the door open and marching towards the master swordsman. The sudden loud noise made the master swordsman take his eyes off the paper and look at the younger one. He didn't make any noise.
Lesson two he learned by watching Nami wanting either an extra fruit on her juice or a request. When she did this, the cook always had this body shivering moment and then leaned toward her to hear more of it.
So Zoro did just that.
Zoro waited a minute until Mihawk's eyes was fully on him. He leaned toward the master swordsman and lowered his voice into a whisper, "Mihawk." His voice was smothered in sweet honey and he breathed out his name so it ended in a lustful note. Plus, Zoro never used his first name so bonus points there.
Lesson two he learned from the navigator: to get a perverted guy's (yes, the man had to be perverted) attention, use a seductive voice.
Near the doorway, Zoro heard a muffled choke, as if the princess was not expecting that.
Now getting Mihawk's full attention, Zoro moved onto Lesson Nami three.
Zoro placed a hand on his back. "I can't sleep on the couch anymore. My back's killing me." He then, slowly, trailed his hand down his back, over his ass, and down his thighs. Zoro's head faced sideways but his eyes watched Mihawk's if he was following his movements. The 'perverted old man' was watching every move. He kept voice low and sweet, "Can I sleep with you from now on?"
For the longest time Mihawk was inspecting Zoro with his famous eagle eyes. Then he shuffled his magazine and those eyes returned to the pages, "I'll think about it."
Zoro straightened up. He snickered and turning on his heels he walked back out of the door. He found Perona still hidden behind the door except she had collapsed onto the floor.
"Oi." Zoro tapped her head with his shoe, "Get up."
"W-what was that?" she asked in a harsh whisper.
Zoro shrugged, "Something I learned from my nakama."
Later that night Perona was awake for two hours tossing and turning on the couch. She switched to the couch Zoro had been using but the results were the same. She cursed silently as she watched the two men sleeping together on the heavenly bed.
The following morning, she had tried asking Mihawk using the same technique but for some reason unknown, it didn't work.
Stupid homo perverted old man.
The End