Title: Hopeless
Warnings: This story can contain: rape, blood, swearing, and other actions like that.
If you don't approve of the story then please don't read further. Thanks.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to the Naruto series.
AN: Hello. This is my new story, and I hope people will like it, I first wanted to make it a one shot, but then I changed my mind because I have a lot of ideas.
On this story, the other ones, please accept my apologies but I read to many detective stories and I have inspiration for this and the others are just blocked, I am sorry, after I pass this writers block, I will post others, otherwise, 'Dreaming you' is going well.
Now, if you don't like how this story is going then don't read it, I said at the warnings, this will be different from all my other stories.
And I really enjoy writing it. Well, I will stop and next time I will make this 'AN' smaller.
Now enjoy:
When I was younger, I thought that life has no sense. I have strongly believed that it is all in vain, and I wasn't thinking about eating or sleeping, I was thinking about hoping.
Having a dream, a wish, and a sense in life, to give your life for it, to want it, to dream it, and to hope, for me it was just a mistake.
Because I never could understand, I lost my hope, entirely.
I even lost the hope to hope that someone will come and that it will save me.
I've made mistakes just to keep that hope.
I think that my single ambition that I ever had was to never let myself hope again.
Hopeless
Chapter 1: The promises
I was an orphan. And in my orphanage were many kids. Kids that have dreams and that read and they always had been happy and they always smiled.
I was the totally opposite of them.
"Someone wants to adopt you!"
This woman works here and I never understand how she is. She takes care of us, brings us food, cleans and she read us stories.
When a child is about to be adopted she comes to that child that one family wants to adopt and she smiles to him and she says just that.
But if the family decides to adopt the child, she will end up at the door, hugging the respective child and cries because she says she will miss him, but in the same time she says that those are tears of happiness because she or he found a home.
I never understood her.
"I don't care."
"Now, come on."
She took my hand and led me on the huge corridor that was filled with beds which had kids in the bed, beside the bed, under the bed.
"Oh, hello there."
A smiling woman that has two kids and wants to adopt another and the father looks a little severe, but what they want is not what I want.
"Your name is Naruto, no?"
"Maybe."
The woman seemed a little confused, but her smile hasn't disappeared. The woman which led me here, looked at me with a expression that says ' don't be rude ', even so, I already do know that if I will say something wrong then I won't be adopted.
"So, what do you like to do the most?"
"I don't like anything."
"He is just shy, in fact, he likes reading a lot."
The woman that tried to lie to her that I really like something smiled at them with encouragement and their smile was wide, and fake.
"I hate to read."
"Naruto, what you say is not true."
"No. What you say is not true. I do not lie. Like you."
The woman lost her smile and looked at me sad.
"Mikoto."
That was the only words that the severe father has spoken, and the woman just looked at him sad.
And after that, I never saw them again.
"You have done it again, Naruto! You will never be adopted! And as punishment, you won't get dinner!"
The woman yelled at me and all I did was to stare at her.
And I asked myself: 'Why is she upset?'
I didn't want to lie, I am sick of lies. And the reality was that I tried to read a book which she gave me and I had read it.
And I swear that I will never read another book, never again.
I always had nightmares, so I locked my imagination.
She always read a story in the Sunday's for the kids and I took care, so that I will never be there.
The room was huge and loud and those kids always played with something, they read and then they dreamed.
I never wanted to sleep, sitting on the bed, looking outside the window at the stars and at the moon.
I've always ruined all the possibilities to be adopted. I've always been alone and I had never spoken. I've always said just cold words to everybody, just to leave me alone.
I always did something bad before the time to read the Saturday story, just to don't hear that silly happy story.
My dreams had died along with my parents. They promised me that they will always protect me, no matter where they are.
But now, they are too far, they are not in this world anymore, so they lied.
I will never lie for someone, just to make that person feel better.
I will never hope that I will have a happy ending.
I will never read another story.
And I will never dream about a better life, about someone's help, about anything else.
'I will never lie, hope, read or dream, never again. '
One day, I thought that all my promises are complete.
But the woman that always takes care of us had cried in that night. I saw her cry for the first time in that way. She didn't know that I was there, but I was.
I entered in her room, because the door was open, and I didn't thought that she would be in there, and when I saw her, I wanted to go back but a man has closed the door before I could escape, so I hid after a big armchair, staring at her and at him.
"You've done it again! You know how much I tried! And you never do anything! Why did I marry you? You're just another useless woman!"
He slapped her and then he grabbed her neck tight. The woman is crying and struggling, because the air has left her lungs.
"Let...me...go!"
She managed and said this between her clogged breaths.
He put her on the desk that was behind her and he has ripped her clothes.
He put his middle under her long dress and he pushed back and forward, and he left her neck free, but he pushed her into the wall more.
The woman cried and I saw the blood that flowed on her legs.
The woman cried and yelled for him to stop. He grinned and he almost has laughed in her face.
"It hurts! Stop!"
She yelled and the blood didn't stop, the man smiled and her tears flowed.
He put his lips on her lips and he bit her lips in the process, the blood dripped on the desk surface, as it dripped from her mouth.
The woman tried endlessly times to escape, but the man didn't let her at all.
In the end, she took the statue that could have fallen off the desk after a couple of seconds; she has taken it with her right hand and she hit the head of the man with the statue.
The statue must have been heavy and solid because it was enough to make him unconscious.
Even if the man stays on the ground, unmoving, the woman continued to hit him with the statue on his head. The head has a big scar on the right side, where the woman hit him.
The blood flowed on the floor, under him and beside his head.
The woman begun to cry, and trembled from all the angles from her body.
"I am sorry… I love you…I always loved you but you..."
I stared with wide open eyes at her and at him.
After a while of crying and saying that she is sorry and that she loved him.
She got up and searched in a drawer and discovered a gun.
She sat down beside him and pointed it at her head.
"I will come with you, my love…"
I wanted to stop her with no reason, but I just ran and I stopped when she noticed me.
"What are you doing here?"
She yelled and begun to tremble again, she seemed hysterical and scared, and I just stared.
"You saw everything, didn't you? You saw…"
She looked at the ground once again, where the man stood unmoving and she begun to cry again.
I took another step forward and she looked at me, and then pointed the gun at me.
Trembling hands, and tears, and a voice that broke into wind that came from the window.
"I am sorry…"
I didn't make another step or moved my hands, I have not talked, and I just stared. And she just stood there and cried with the gun pointed at me.
That stood like that a minute or two until the door opened, and someone entered the room, looking at us.
"Ms. Maeko, what happened here?"
"This is not my fault! This is not…"
Her breath was quicker and her face was white as the snow.
"This is…"
He looked at the ground and she begun to yell again.
"This is not my fault!"
She cried and yelled this again and again, with the gun pointed at me.
"Ms. Maeko …"
He said that and made a step closer.
"Don't come! Don't move or …"
She looked at my face, that I am sure it doesn't looks scared, it has no expression.
She cried more and looked in my eyes.
"You, poor child…"
She cried and said my name.
"Naruto."
"What is…?"
Another woman came in and she had some books in her hands but she has dropped them when she looked at us.
"Don't move!"
She didn't point the gun at me anymore. She pointed the gun at them.
"You have gone insane Maeko! Calm down!"
The woman looked at them, at me, and then at the man.
She closed her eyes and put the gun at her head, and said:
"I am sorry."
"Maeko stop!"
They wanted to take her gun before but she pulled the trigger fast, staring in my eyes and the tears fell from her eyes.
She has whispered something with one second before she pulled the trigger but I couldn't understand.
She fell on the man's chest and blood flowed from her head, too.
After when I decided that I never could understand her, I stared at them and then I made another promise to myself.
'I will never fall in love'
I made my final promise.
And this had happened when I had just 7 years old.
To be continued…
Thanks for reading. I will try to be patient but I would be extremely happy if I will get reviews.