Tears on a Goban, a hikaru no go fanfic

Title: Tears on a Goban
Chapter: 1/1
Author: Dragona 2007
Email: Please check my profile or leave an email address for me to respond to in your review.
Summary: (Oneshot) Isumi muses Shindou and their friendship, days after the events of episodes 69 and 70. Warning: Spoilers for both episodes
Fandom: Hikaru no Go
Spoilers: 69, 70, and 71
Rating: K
Pairing(s): Shindou/Isumi friendship. Hints of yaoi, if you squint for them.
Disclaimer: Hikaru no Go is not mine, nor will it ever be. However anything you don't recognize from the series/manga is, so please ask permission before using those concepts. (Not really an issue with this particular fic, though.)
Author's notes: It feels like it's been forever since I put something new out on . And to think, it's a one shot on an anime series that I just recently got into. To my previous readers, I'm going to be systematically killing/rewriting my older work, including the fics on my other account and posting them all on this one account. I'll probably keep the older works on the other account, if only so that the reviews stay. It will likely take a little bit of time, so please be patient with me.

Before anyone shoots me, please consider that I can't think of Isumi to have been that selfish to demand Hikaru to play when there is obviously something wrong with said opponent. That's where the idea of this fic comes into play, as if a way to explain, if only to myself, why Isumi would do what no one else did. Now though, onto the story.

Tears on a Goban

By Dragona 2007

Isumi couldn't help but remember the events of the past few days, as he started to stare into the cup of juice that Waya had passed around. He couldn't forget the shocking news of his younger friends forfeits. He remembered painstakingly verifying this with Waya, and even the Go Institute. He could still remember every move of the game of Go that they, he and Shindou, had played, every minute that he'd spent in the younger players house, even those before Shindou Hikaru had arrived home. How could he have forgotten it, when the normally invincible player broke into tears right in front of his eyes.

Even if Shindou Hikaru seemed to always been an enigma, as there were simply too many questions that he'd left unanswered over the past two years, the professional player had never been the type to openly cry or give in to despair. Instead, his fury, at his own weaknesses would cause him to act irrationally. If Isumi hadn't known that something had been wrong in the way Shindou had refused to meet his eyes, while coldly suggesting that he might "give up Go", the necessity of the admittedly selfish trick that he'd guiltily used to force Hikaru to play, for he had lied to Shindou, when he had omitted that the game wasn't only for his own peace of mind, before the exams. Sure, it was a nice thing to have, even if he didn't need it anymore. His trip to China had corrected that issue well enough, even if he did want a fair rematch.

And so, the game had started, a bittersweet game that held a terrifying finality to it, as if this could become Shindou's final game. The younger boy had surprised him by playing as well as he had ever played against. No, Shindou had been improving by leaps and bounds, so much so that the match reminded him of the Chinese pros that he had faced in the two months away from Japan. He'd shuddered in excitement internally at the thought of a Shindou Hikaru in top form, as the boy was obviously not fully emotionally here, for whatever reason.

It had long become obvious that Shindou wasn't planning on talking, or even listening to anyone, not even to him, Waya, Touya, or even his parents about this, so Isumi had hoped that his Go would do the talking for him. So far it hadn't, and he knew he wasn't close enough to him to know how to read the few, hidden hints that Shindou would give. Only Touya would have been able to do that, Isumi knew with a sadness that was suppressed, in wake of the game. Despite not being Shindou's rival, as it had come remarkably clear that Touya took that honor, Isumi could still be the younger pro's friend, Isumi knew. He had decided to all his mind to wander later, at home, as this game was too important, even though he still wasn't sure how it would help.

A few moments after he laid down a stone following a particularly brilliant move, he wondered why Shindou hadn't made his next moved, only to be shocked at the sobbing form of the professional player. Had it, whatever had happened, really been so horrible, that Shindou would seriously consider giving up Go? It had, Isumi had realized without a doubt, his heart breaking for the younger boy. He was tempted to give the boy a comforting hug, but found himself unable to move, only able to watch and comment on Shindou's condition. To say that something was bugging him was a severe understatement, Isumi knew, but that was the only way to phrase the sentence, even in his own mind.

A minute morphed into two, which morphed into five, which morphed into ten, as Isumi waited for something that he could actually respond to, to comfort Shindou, as he didn't know who this "He" was. Had he been such a horrible friend to have missed someone so important to Shindou, over the past few years, as an insei? He had given Shindou the time to work out the problem, as he had continued to watch helplessly. His confusion had only doubled, as Shindou asked if he was (Italic)allowed(end Italic) to play Go. His only response was to comment on the painfully obvious fact that Shindou had been struggling all this time.

Despite the rotten feeling of being a lousy friend that was starting to settle in him, Isumi hadn't helped but notice that his words had given the younger boy a small measure of comfort and the ability to vocally resolve to play thousands of games with them all. He'd been honored to have been given the first name on that list, and he'd noticed that Touya had been lumped in with "everyone." As suddenly as the tears had appeared, they were no longer found on Shindou's face, only to be replaced by a solemn determination that Isumi half recognized as the younger boy's game face, even if the child-like joy he'd once held at the thought of playing Go was marred by a new solemnity and sorrow. Was it enough that Shindou would return to the Go world, Isumi couldn't help but wonder at the time, with an internal frown. He'd then resolved to keep an eye on his younger friend.

Isumi knew that he could be selfish once more, now that his duty to his friend was complete. After all, they would both be benefiting from this game. His own inner peace would be resolved at the end of the game, not after an absolutely brilliant move on the goban. After a quiet thanks, Isumi had watched with a mild pride, as Shindou resolved to pick up the shattered pieces of his professional reputation. Isumi almost pitied the younger boy, but there would still be a price to pay for wallowing in whatever this problem was, he knew. The familiar sound of the stone hitting wood, brought Isumi back to the game, now seeing a new resolve in both the professional player's face and game play.

At the end of the game, as he had resigned, simply unable to win, he had stopped the younger player from completely demolishing the kifu. He wanted to study it, as the pro player looked antsy. Shindou most likely wanted to see how Touya's match was going. Isumi had told him to go find the 3-dan player, that he'd clean up. This match didn't need to be discussed, not with each other, nor with others. It was special, and they each knew where they could improve on their own.

The sun had started setting, as Shindou had run out of the room. He had actually wanted to let Waya know about Shindou being okay, but his family was already irritated enough that he had spent so much time with Waya and trying to figure what was wrong with the younger player. He started to draw out two copies of the kifu, not really needing the actual board to figure out the order of the moves. He had started to put up the stones and the goban, when Shindou's mother had stepped in with tea and a relieved look on her face, apologizing for the younger player's rush out of the door. He hadn't stayed very long after that, exhausted and at peace, not only with his rule violation, but his own place as Shindou's friend.

Isumi brought his mind back to the present and answered Waya's question, only giving the bare bones of the story to Waya, Honda, and Nase, enough to comfort them, whom Shindou had apparently run from. After Waya's typically loud statement, conversation turned to more cheerful topics, and Isumi could only hope that Shindou would come to him, if he needed to talk or even cry again. At the moment, all Shindou needed was time, though, and Isumi would gladly give him that and more if he ever asked it of him.

This is it for this fic, so please R & R!! Note, this is a repost, as I'm just checking over all of my own posted fanfiction for grammar and major plot issues and then reposting them. As this was recently written, I'm not seeing any. If any of you see any, please feel free to leave me a review saying so.

Dragona 2007