You're a shooting star I see,
A vision of ecstasy
- Rihanna, Diamonds
It is a general consensus that Athos is a broody man, he is disinterested, no zest for life whatsoever… the questions as to why that is are numerous. Why does he live in darkness? Why does he drink only to pass out? What horrors did he witness? Why does he not smile? Why does he rarely take to woman's company? Maybe he was amongst the small number of those fortunate to meet their soul mate and live in the world of colors? And maybe he was unfortunate enough to lose her? Or is it something else entirely? They all settled for whispers and guessing. No one dared to ask.
And nobody knows, nobody will ever know why he chose such life. He takes the night watch whenever he can, sleeps in the damp cold room, and hides in the darkest corner of the tavern. He keeps his eyes on the muddy floor or the gray wall not because his life is black and white but because it is not.
Ever since he lost… no, ever since he killed his wife, he hides from colors. He couldn't watch his beautiful, treacherous wife choke to death. He refused that to be the last colorful image in his life. His first was the shade of her eyes. The last had to be stunning as well. He was selfish and he was a coward. He still is. He rode away to the furthest field to watch one last sunset. They'd loved that, his soul mate and him. He watched the blue turn to orange, to fiery red and finally to midnight blue. The world seemed diminished without her. He waited till morning; the colors didn't fade. He panicked. In one fleeting, unwanted moment of hope he thought her to be alive. But the grave was there, the ground still fresh. He kneeled and wept for hours. At one point, he even contemplated gouging his eyes out…
Colors. That is his punishment, his curse - to still see the beauty around as if her ghost is bound to his, haunting him for the rest of his days. And maybe it is. Often he would feel her presence and would gravitate towards it but could never pin it down. Some nights regret would threaten to drown him, some nights he would accept it as the price for killing his soul mate.
Athos observes, he hears what others speak of him. He doesn't give a damn. Only occasionally when the colors are too vibrant he smashes the bottle against some nosy lowlife's head. Only occasionally. When somebody knocks the wine out of his hand and the spilled liquor reminds him of his brother's corpse. Or when someone gets too handsy with the dark haired girl who looks too much like her.
The springs are the hardest. He goes to the palace often, ha has to pass by far too many gardens. He has to see those little blue flowers she loved so damn much. Those little blue flowers she held in her hand the day he ended both of their lives.