Chapter 1 – Realization and Decisions

Christian's POV:

I could feel his soft, tender fingers on my face. Each stroke, each touch was way more intimate than one could ever imagine. His fingers traced my profile. First my eyelids, then along my nose, across to my cheekbones, down my jaw line then eventually coming to a rest on my lips. My heart was beating faster than normal. His fingers lingered on my lips and I could taste him. Slowly, my lips parted ever so slightly as I kissed the fingers of my lover.

I opened my eyes and saw the vision of a flawless, sexy man looking down at me. His tousled black hair was a look that even Brad Pitt strived to perfect, and always failed miserably. I allowed myself a look at his face before his I met his eyes. His face currently held a confused look. It was like he couldn't quite put his finger on something. His eyes were drawn together as his thick eyebrows leant into each other. He was biting his bottom lip gently, the way he did when he was nervous. As I met his eyes, his entire face relaxed. His face was alive with his smile. It was a coy smile that gave me a feeling of a major drop somewhere in the pit of my stomach. A couple of moments passed without us speaking. I was lost somewhere in those beautiful chocolate, light brown eyes and I never wanted to come out. I could almost feel a magnetic attraction drawing me to those eyes that I craved. I could feel an involuntary smile appearing on my face. Looking into those bottomless eyes that often melted me every time we made love; I knew that this was it. This was what I had been waiting for, for the last 34 years of my life. This is love.

My hands pulled his face slowly towards me as I kissed his lips for what seemed like an eternity. His eyes were closed as he was lost in the kiss. Slowly, I pulled his body towards me, onto me. I wanted to make love to him, like never before. I ran my hands down his body. The sun was shining through a crack in the curtains. The sun was shining onto his tanned skin. Gently, I tugged his tight blue t-shirt over his neck. His skin was warm against mine. I ran my fingers down his chest and rested just above his belt. I gave him a suggestive look as he smiled a coy smile that was just for me. He pulled back off the bed and I sat up as he undid his belt, slid his trousers and boxers down. I looked him up and down and he shivered, but I knew it wasn't from the cold. Passionately, I pulled him onto me and he flinched as our bodies touched. He was warm and my hands must have cold as they ran up his neck. His kisses were soft and sweet onto my neck. Each kiss was as if he was relaying a special message onto my body that no one else would know about... I gripped the hair at the nape of his neck tightly as I was transported to another world where only he and I existed.

Sometime later after he had left to go back to the unit, I lay in bed thinking about him. It hurt knowing that he would be going back to his fiancée that evening, but I'd rather him like this, than not at all. This was my decision because I knew that I had finally met my soul mate. I'd met him in the form of Syed Masood. Business man, son, but ultimately and most importantly, my only true love.

Syed's POV:

His skin was so soft yet I could feel the hard muscle underneath it. I was perched on the edge of the double bed, tracing the profile of the sleeping man lying under me. A random thought drifted through my head asking me why my hand wasn't shaking. Maybe because this was right. I shook my head as if to physically remove the thought. My mind had been in turmoil for the last hour. Well if I was honest, it had been in this state for the last few months. I shouldn't even be here. I should be across the square with my fiancée, cooing over her and organizing our wedding. Yet here I was, with my finger currently resting on his warm, perfectly sized lips. He kissed my finger and my eyes widened in shock. Maybe he did it sub-consciously or was he awake. My body was tingling and the nerves of my finger were standing on the edge, electrified. I focused on his eyes as I waited for them to open. Sure enough, those eyes that couldn't just see me, but see my soul itself were now searching my face for a clue. His sea-green eyes didn't meet mine immediately. It took a couple of seconds but when they did, my entire body relaxed. How could someone even have this effect on me? Was it even possible? I could feel myself willingly drowning in his eyes.

Adrenaline coursed through my body and my heart rate was accelerating faster than I even imagined possible as he wrapped his arms around me. Our lips met and we kissed what felt like an eternity. His cool fingers were running down my chest and he rested on my belt. He raised his eyebrow and gave me a half smile. The look was most definitely suggestive. The look that he gave me as I stood there naked caused me to shiver involuntarily. It was an erotic look that left me almost weak at the knees. How could he do this to me? How could someone, no a man, make me feel so special? I climbed onto him and flinched at his cold skin. He seemed not to notice as he pulled me close. I kissed his neck, the way I knew that he liked. Each kiss was soft and I could feel him hardening underneath me... As we had sex, I didn't allow myself to think. I only felt him. Words and thoughts were simply irrelevant as our bodies did all the communicating...

As I walked across the square to the unit, my mind was once again in turmoil. It was like every time we slept together, I felt overwhelmed with the guilt afterwards. How could I do this to Amira? How could I cheat on her? How could I betray my own religion that represented everything I stood for?

Walking down the stairs into the kitchen, these thoughts ran through my head. The kitchen was eerily quiet. I looked towards the office where I had the cheek to accuse my lover of blackmailing me. I found myself walking towards that room. It was where he'd hugged me, comforted me as guilt threatened to overthrow me. It was where he called me his "boyfriend". I'd thrown it back into face and he took it. Christian Clarke took everything that I threw at him. Words, abuse, hurt ... Shutting the door, I slumped against it, my hands in my head. My phone beeped. Almost reluctantly, I opened the text message. "Just a text to tell you that I love you. Amira xx" I dropped my phone as the realization of the enormity of what I was doing hit me. This couldn't continue. It was time to make a decision.