I disclaim, not mine, if it was Voldemort would win.

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Journal,

Today I had an interesting duel with Twinkledore.

At the Ministry of Magic.

Destroyed a magical fountain, a few hundred glass planes; probably the whole Atrium. Attempted to possess a certain four-eyed twit; failed.

*shrug*

Nothing relatively special…….

Now the Headquarters of DE are an entirely different matter.

Chaos, supreme chaos!

Now when I mentioned to the Potter brat, at my re-birthing ritual, that I fashioned myself a new family, I meant it in the metaphorical sense: you know congregate bi-weekly on a god-forsaken place, share news, torture the incompetent ones and generally go on about wizarding world domination. However, I DID NOT sign up for what happened today.

Bellatrix has issues. She had issues when as a seven year old she attempted the Cruciatus Curse on her cat. Her issues have only multiplied tenfold after the stint in Azkaban. Needless to say she is very attached to the word 'Crucio'.

So there I was, sitting in my library, brooding over the battle when a bunch of new recruits come razing through the doors and attempt to, literally, hide behind my chair. The reason, Bella was miffed at the Ministry defeat and losses.

After a thorough tongue-lashing to Bella about why we do not scare new people this early in the job and how difficult it was to recruit anyways; I was left with half a dozen of scared little pureblood princes. It didn't help that Bella was giving them very dirty looks during my explanation and they were, for lack of better word, scared shitless. So I had to spend the entire evening baby-sitting (yes it was as bad and demeaning as it sounded; the things I do for world domination!) I just tucked them in for the night (I'm not going to comment on how wrong that sounds for my image.)

And there was this whole incident of Severus' nervous breakdown. Apparently he and Lucius were 'best-buddies'. So it didn't work that one was in Azkaban and the other was free, in my library, crying his heart out while one of the recruits held him. Who knew the feared Potions Master was such a softie? (I swear I'm scarred for life!)

So there I was looking on, too stunned to do anything except gape at the emotional, volatile, teenagers that seemed to make up my side. I didn't even get to squish the beetle on my desk.

*sigh* WHY ME? *face palm*

-TMR

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The next morning, the magical population of Britain woke up to one of the more disturbing news articles from Rita Skeeter.

THE DARK LORD: A PARENTAL FIGUREHEAD TO THE DEATH EATERS?

Mass murderer or massively misunderstood?

Needless to say after that article (because even Skeeter needs to have a basis in fact) many wizards and witches spent a good deal of time in therapy. Dumbledore choked on his lemon drops and died. Voldemort got voted as the new Minister of magic because the public seemed to have developed a soft spot for him. Skeeter became the new Headmistress of Hogwarts where journalism was included in the core curriculum.

And Harry, well, Harry to this day remains incoherent.

The END.