Please Don't Love Me
One Shot
Summary: sasuxsaku Things happened, words were exchanged, and before I knew it, we were sharing an incomprehensible emotion, mixed with intoxication and feelings that seemed so real and so fake at the same time.
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You will always belong to me
But time decided differently
You only like me, so in the end
The only thing we can be is
Friends…
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"Sasuke-kun, take a picture with me!"
"Hn."
A refusal.
"Sasuke-kun, I'm getting married tomorrow. Please?"
"Aa."
"Sasuke-kun, can you smile for me?"
Click.
She fumbled with the camera, trying to find out how to view our anything but perfect picture.
I pulled her tightly towards me.
She pushed me away, looking right through my chest.
"We're only friends. Friends don't hug. Stop it."
A silence.
She regained her composure and smiled again at me.
She found our picture.
"You're scowling, Sasuke-kun! Retake!"
I grunted.
"It's just a picture, Sasuke-kun. Please?"
"Aa."
"Just for memories."
"Hn."
An invitation.
Click.
I paused and decided to say something more to her for once. "Are we friends?"
"Of course! Friends are like lovers who won't break each other's hearts." She turned away.
"Even when I leave, don't forget me," she whispered.
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The sunlight streams in through my window as the clock on my bed stand beeps softly, signifying the arrival of seven.
And almost as if a moment later, it urges me that time has already reached eight.
Nine.
Ten.
It is all slipping away, and even though I won't admit it, I am quietly wondering what she is doing.
What is happening?
What she is wearing.
What she thinks about me.
The questions scream in my head, begging to be asked, begging to be answered.
We're only friends.
Friends don't hug.
Stop it.
Empty wishes, empty demands, empty pleads.
I cover my eyes, trying to forget her words, her voice, and her touch.
I try to forget that today is Sakura and Naruto's wedding day.
A distinct ringing at my door summons me to rise from my bed and step among the massive piles of photographs the kunoichi took of us just yesterday.
"Just for memories."
I want to remember you.
I saunter down the hallway to the front door.
My eyes flicker to all the empty rooms around me, coming to rest momentarily on the third door on the right.
Intoxication, desire, desperation.
The bittersweet lingering odors of a faraway past seep into my skin, sending a small tremor through my muscles and bones.
"Sasuke-kun, I love you."
"I love you, too."
Snapping my head back to concentrate on the end of the corridor, I steady my step and trek forward, pulling the door open in a swift and irritated manner.
Sometimes I wish I didn't act like the jerk Naruto declared I was. All I want is to try to act normally, but my words falter and my sentences are jumbled.
And sometimes I wonder if I were just a little different,
Maybe we'd be different too.
We.
Us.
Perhaps.
Although the opening on the door is anything but graceful, the sight that greets me seems like a page from a dream. It seems to drift in my head, trying to find security, but finding none, almost drifts away before I make a desperate dive to catch it.
And then, and only then, it turns around, sneers at me, and asks, "What were you thinking?"
I breathe in, but not out, at the surreal scene before me.
A young, pink-haired woman wearing a flowing, strapless wedding dress.
The silky white material hugs her curves and boasts her soft skin. A bold, metallic gold ribbon secures her waist, trailing down to her heels.
And her hair, her hair.
Like cotton candy.
She lifts her face gently to lock her gaze with mine, and for an instant, the intensity she shared with me, just once, returns.
"Good morning, Sasuke-kun!" she exclaims brightly.
"What are you doing here?"
I wish my words weren't so harsh.
Her already strained smile drops a little.
"I was wrong. I'm not getting married today."
Tossing the pink and white roses she was holding with her petite hands into my chest, she enters my house without an invitation, pushing me lightly on the shoulder.
Gown swishing soundlessly in her wake, Sakura makes a beeline for my refrigerator, which is decorated with ten too many pictures of us.
If I study them closely, they're actually all the same.
Sakura, smiling, laughing, pushing me, silently asking for more with her jade eyes.
Me, Uchiha Sasuke, frowning, scowling, stoic, annoyed, wanting…
Something.
Anything.
Reality hurts.
Sakura slowly traces her finger aimlessly over a picture of our Genin team. Just her, Naruto, and me.
I wonder what she regrets.
Hearing my approach behind her or perhaps feeling my breath touch her bare skin, she hastily removes her fingers from the photograph and happily pulls open the door to the repository of food, which actually isn't much, just some essentials.
She pulls out my single bottle of milk, pops off the cap, and sniffs it for expiration. I watch her every movement, every flinch as she senses my glare running into her.
Giving a small smile to no one in particular except the milk bottle, my former teammate raises the bottle slowly, sipping it tentatively.
"Even when I leave, don't forget me."
Her brow furrows at the distinct sour taste of the drink. Without even looking at me, she thrusts the glass container into my hands, silently asking me to toss it.
As she digs further through my small stash of food, I finally rack up the breath to ask, "Are you hungry?"
My question comes out more like a grunt than anything, and the smile that follows is more of a grimace.
"Sasuke-kun, can you smile for me?"
"It's just a picture, Sasuke-kun. Please?"
I want to turn up the corners of my lips and smile at her warmly like a real teammate, but she can't see under my shell. I know my lack of response hurts her every second of her life.
Again, the pink tresses catch my attention as she pulls them away from her fair-skinned face.
I touched her chin lightly with my fingertips, almost like a brush of a swallow's tail, begging her to lift her face.
"Two eggs." She smiles, holding up two eggs between her fingers.
And as her tear-streaked face turned upward ever so slightly…
"Hn."
My lips caught her next tears.
I crack the eggs cleanly on the side of the pan, allowing the contents to settle on the sizzling surface. A soft hissing and crackling sound ensues, assuring me that they are cooking thoroughly.
She is staring outside the window at the sakura trees.
I place the plate before her twitching hands, which are fumbling with unseen substances.
I grunt deeply, waking her from an unconscious dream. Turning her gaze from the outside world, she smiles at me softly and begins picking at the food before her with the fork.
The light from outside reflects on the silverware, illuminating her face with a radiant light.
"Is the ceremony already over?"
I wish my questions weren't so blunt.
She is silent for a while. Even the movement of her utensils pauses.
"It was all regret. It's all over now."
A wave of relief washes over me.
I won't lose her just yet.
She stabs at her food some more as an uncomfortable silence blankets us. Slowly, the corners of her lips drop from their posed position that has been suspended for so long.
"I love you, too."
"I just realized…"
She pokes at the eggs. I wonder why they still don't break.
"All along, happiness couldn't be complete."
My scowl deepens a little, realizing that her fiancé has probably broken her heart.
That Uzumaki Naruto is going to hell when I find him.
For a while, she gazes at me intently, as if searching for some reaction. I don't know what to say or do. Presently, she looks away, outside the window at the falling blossoms.
"What did he do?"
"Nothing. I just…"
The tears roll steadily down her cheeks. Painful, choking sobs escape her throat in small gasps as she tries to swallow her emotions, tries to hide them from me. I see the hurt in her eyes even though she isn't facing me. Her lip trembles dangerously, threatening to submit to her sorrow.
I want to give her sympathy and comfort, but all I can ask her is something that is only a little out of line.
"Do you want me to hug you?" I ask, sustaining a serious expression on my face.
It is an awkward question, and she stares at me with an indecipherable look.
Slowly, the tremble in the lip subsides, and she casts her eyes thoughtfully to the plate.
Contemplating my question for an eternity, she slowly begins to nod, tears still streaking down her cheekbones.
I think about what it would be like to hold her, what it would be like to feel her small hands on my back. I don't know what I would do, or what I would think. I instantly regret asking her such a forward question.
"Nevermind," I mumble, almost sheepishly.
She blinks a few times, absorbing the new syllables presented to her. A small, haphazard giggle escapes her mouth after a momentary silence.
Somehow, she builds up courage, and soon she is fully laughing. She lightly hits me on the arm.
"I knew you would say that. You always do."
Her smile fades a few shades.
She looks back down at her still uneaten, cold food and twirls her fork a little.
"Isn't happiness the hardest thing to earn back? I wanted you to be happy when you came back to Konoha. I remember it was my twentieth birthday."
I came back to make you happy, but in the end, I could only wish you happiness.
It hurts a little as the hot knife pierces through the steel armor around my heart.
"Remember how we went to the bar that night to celebrate? Remember…"
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"Teme, you should stop drinking," Naruto slurred through his hiccups. "Too much… alcohol."
Sakura laughed insanely at neither of us, sipping at her glass of wine.
"We should all stop."
I tried to stay concentrated on not raising the glass to my lips again, but my mind decided otherwise.
Drunkenly, we exited the stall, trying to find footing on the moving street.
"I'll see you guys… tomorrow." Naruto held up a hand as a farewell.
"Yes, see you," Sakura giggled. "Sasuke-kun… Let's walk together."
"Aa."
She staggered crazily behind me as we weaved through invisible obstacles, finally reaching the Uchiha district.
Even though we were right at my front door, I had an insane notion to ask her, "Do you want me to walk you home?"
Instead, I walked unsteadily through the door, not bothering to close it. However, I heard the click of the lock behind me.
Turning, I saw my teammate leaning against the door frame, illuminated only by the moonlight filtered in from a small window above the door.
I walked over to her and pushed her slightly, asking her to leave.
She smiled sweetly at me and rose on her toes to brush her mouth clumsily over mine. Lowering herself again, she looked down and blushed softly.
I gasped silently. Her touch was like a medicine of reality, hungry and refreshing.
I touched her chin lightly with my fingertips, almost like a brush of a swallow's tail, begging her to lift her face.
I wanted to feel her lips upon mine again tonight.
As I held her cheek with my right hand, the salty oasis hovered in her eyes, gradually flooding her features with uncontrollable sorrow.
And as her tear-streaked face turned upward ever so slightly, asking for anything, yearning for warmth, my lips caught her next tears.
I savored her sweet taste.
Passionately, she ran her fingers through my hair and kissed me deeply, responding to my every rhythm and tempo.
Things happened, words were exchanged, and before I knew it, we were under the sheets, sharing an incomprehensible emotion.
She gasped, catching her breath after breaking our kiss.
"Sasuke-kun, I love you."
"I love you, too."
And so the night went on, mixed with intoxication, exchanged words, and feelings that seemed so real and so fake at the same time.
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"Hn."
"Sasuke-kun, are you…"
Her lip began quivering again.
"…happy like this?"
"Aa."
"Just like this?"
"Aa."
"Nothing more?"
Damn, she's shaking.
"Don't you want anything else?" her voice becomes high and pained as she stands, hands clenched into fists.
"All you can do is sit there and tell me that you're happy. All you can fucking say is that you're happy without me?"
I want to cover my ears and put my head down, afraid that the cloud I have been riding on will fall to the depths of the unknown.
"Why can't you say anything else?" she screams.
Her questions come charging into me, colliding with me like a wind urging me to fall from a precipice.
She asks more and more, becoming hysterical, hitting me repeatedly on the shoulders, begging for answers.
I want to give her so much, but I can only offer her so little.
Why can't she see?
"What are you doing, Sakura?" I ask her during a pause while she catches her breath. The tears are flooding her emerald orbs once more.
"Have you thought…" she chokes out through her tears. "Why I ran all the way here today?"
"Have you thought… Today is my wedding day. I was engaged to the perfect man who loves me unconditionally." Her voice is only a whisper.
I stare at her stoically, like in the pictures.
The tension in the kitchen climbs and tangles within itself, forming impossible knots of anxiety.
I want to hear her next question, because I know what it is.
I don't want to hear her say it.
"Don't you know I like you?" she asks fervently, as if asking for salvation. She squeezes her eyes shut and stamps her foot like a child.
"Why can't you see? Is it that hard?"
She's screaming again.
I'm staring through her again.
She pauses, filling the silence only with tears and a soft sobbing.
Her gaze penetrates my defenses, searching desperately for answers.
Finally, she twitches her cheeks, trying to find the muscles needed to smile.
"Nevermind." A strained laugh flows fluently from her tongue as her carved smile returns. "It was all a joke."
Can't you see? I can't give you more.
I look away from her.
"Why don't you say anything even now? Can you at least say you hate me? Can't you…" she chokes on her tears.
I wish I could forget her.
"Sasuke-kun, don't you remember?"
What I said to you.
"Hn."
"I thought… I thought…"
Her pain is ripping apart my defenses, squirming and finding its way to my heart, destroying it with a ruthless intent.
"Did you…"
Love me?
Yes.
Her words hurt so much.
"Have you…"
Forgotten?
No.
How could I forget?
"Can you…"
Kiss me?
No.
"Why…"
Can't you touch me?
Because we're only friends.
The tears splash on the tiled floor like blood.
I love you more than you know.
The door slams.
But in the end, you only like me.
We're only friends.
Please don't love me.
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Notes: I really wanted to write a one shot for some reason xx;; I'm sorry if you don't like this or if it's super boring or if it's just stupid! But… please review:D
This fic is based on the song and music video of "Hao Peng You (Good Friends)" by Alan Luo Zhi Xiang (music video featuring Ariel Lin Yi Chen). I changed some scenes and kind of changed the lyrics (which are only at the beginning and end) through translating, but I hope it still conveys the same idea.
Or… what I thought the idea of the music video was XD
Hope you enjoyed :D