A/N: Written for Kink Bingo 2011 to fulfill the 'wet, messy, and dirty' square. More messy than anything else, really.

The Cantrips and Crows, Dalaran Underbelly, 1:45 AM

"I've never been so glad to be back here," Jadaar muttered. He looked around their room for something to sit on that wouldn't suffer from being covered in icing and strawberry-flavored batter. He settled for leaning against the rickety table. "I feel disgusting." He picked at his braid, the end of which looked as though it had been dipped in buttercream.

"Do you remember the time Miss Redgold lost her temper and shoved me off the pier? That was disgusting. This?" He gestured at Jadaar. "This is the work of one of the top bakers in Dalaran. Disgusting isn't the word I'd use." Asric put his hand on the table and leaned into Jadaar with enough force to make the table creak in protest. There was a squelch of icing where their bodies met, and Asric raised an eyebrow. "In fact, it probably still tastes fantastic. And, as a point of observation, you haven't put your pants back on yet." Asric ran his hand up Jadaar's naked thigh, his fingers leaving trails in the frosting all the way up under his loincloth. Jadaar squirmed under him, his cock starting to stiffen under Asric's expert direction.

"Do you ever think of anything besides sex?" Jadaar said.

"Not if I can help it."

Streets of Dalaran, 1:20 AM

Asric considered himself fairly quick on his feet, but he could never match Jadaar's long-legged stride no matter how hard he tried. In this case, however, lagging behind Jadaar wasn't so bad. It afforded him a fantastic view of the draenei's pantsless rear, currently covered in some of Dalaran's finest achievements in the confectionary arts. If Asric didn't already have a sweet tooth, the swishing of Jadaar's well-frosted tail would have given him one.

"Is she following us?" Jadaar called. Asric glanced over his shoulder.

"No," he said. "I think she'll be out for a little while longer. You hit her pretty hard."

Jadaar sighed heavily. Despite the fact that he'd been running, he didn't even seem to be out of breath. "It's a pity we didn't get away with any evidence."

"Come on, Jadaar. You should have more faith in my skills than that." Asric slowed for a moment to fumble in his pocket, and came up with three glass vials.

"Of course you'd pick her pocket, you underhanded bastard," Jadaar said, but couldn't suppress a grin.

One More Glass Wine and Bread Shop, Dalaran, 1:00 AM

"Y—you're under arrest! For— for smuggling!" Jadaar stammered, unable to think of anything better to say. Falling eight feet onto a table full of decorative cakes really put a damper on his usual apprehending-a-suspect speech. At least the fall had killed his erection, thank the naaru.

"You don't have the authority to do that," Aimee the baker said smoothly.

"What gives you that idea?"

The high elf lifted her long eyebrows dubiously. "You're ass deep in a cake and you're not wearing pants."

Jadaar couldn't think of a good rejoinder to that.

One More Glass Wine and Bread Shop, Dalaran, 12:57 AM

"There's our mark," Asric whispered in Jadaar's ear, tightening his hand around the draenei's cock. Jadaar made an undignified noise. "Shhh, wouldn't want her to know we're here," Asric said, nipping at Jadaar's ear and sliding his thumb over the tip of his shaft. Jadaar bit his lip with the effort of keeping quiet, and Asric chuckled. There wasn't a lot of space in this ventilation duct, but Asric felt confident he was making the most of it.

"Are you even watching?" Jadaar hissed through clenched teeth, his tail swatting against Asric's thigh in agitation. He tried to lean towards the grating in order to get a better look at the baker as she went about her business, but only succeeded in pressing himself harder into Asric's palm.

"Of course I'm watching," Asric said, putting his head on Jadaar's shoulder. Below the grate, Asric could see a high elf woman, her robes covered by an apron and her hair pulled back into a severe bun, carefully laying out a large table full of fine-looking layer cakes — clearly an order for some kind of party. Half of them were already frosted, with delicate whirls of violet and white icing.

The woman whistled as she reached for a bowl of frosting, and then for something from her apron —

"Holy shit," Asric hissed. The genuine surprise in his voice (and in the sudden loosening of his grip) must have been obvious. Jadaar pulled away from him as best he could and leaned over the grate, steadying himself with his hands on both sides of the opening. Asric ducked under Jadaar's arm, peering downward.

"Light preserve us," Jadaar whispered. "Those are cut diamonds."

"Smuggling gems in cakes. That's…so far above our pay grade."

"Asric," Jadaar hissed. "I need to get a look from the other side. Do you think the grate will hold if I crawl over it?"

"I think so," Asric said, with a disappointed sigh. Business always came first with Jadaar.

The grate held, but Asric's foot accidentally jostling the emergency latch rendered the point moot.

One More Glass Wine and Bread Shop, Dalaran, 12:40 AM

"This job is so dull." Asric tried, in vain, to stretch his legs a bit. Spending an hour in a cramped ventilation shaft waiting for a cook to show up wasn't exactly his idea of a fantastic time.

"What did you expect? We're spying on a baker." Asric noted, with a certain amount of cruel satisfaction, that Jadaar looked even more uncomfortable than he was.

There was a long silence, broken only by the echo of their own breathing. Asric's ears twitched.

"You know," he said, "I bet we could do it in here."

Jadaar swiveled his head around to glare at Asric, and as always Asric was glad of the eyepatch. Two eyes' worth of Jadaar's dubious stare could probably level mountains.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard," Jadaar said.

"We've got…what, at least a half an hour more, at least? And even then, when this Aimee character shows up, all we've got to do is confirm she's using conjured sweets. Not what I'd call work that takes a lot of concentration."

"Oh, shut up. You are never going to convince me it's a good idea."

Asric smirked.

Cantrips and Crows, Dalaran Underbelly, 2:30 AM

Jadaar rolled over, and looked around the room as though just noticing it for the first time. He looked out of breath, Asric noted with a thrill of pride. Considering Jadaar had barely broken a sweat sprinting across half of Dalaran, Asric considered this something of an achievement.

"I think," Jadaar said, after a moment's thought, "that you only succeeded in getting the icing all over the table. And the floor. And yourself."

Asric propped his head up on his hand and looked over at the draenei. "Well, that just means there's less icing on you. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"We should get off the floor, go to bed, and get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow." Asric raised an eyebrow, and Jadaar sighed. "Don't tell me you're thinking of going again."

"Oh, no. Just thinking that we'd get much more money if we just fenced the diamonds rather than turning Aimee in."

"We can't do that, Asric. That would be wrong."

"Also, dangerous. And I don't know any fences." Asric laid his head back down and pulled himself closer to Jadaar, until his head was nestled in the hollow of the draenei's shoulder. The mingled smell of buttercream and sweat was strangely comforting. "Do you want to wash off before we go to bed?"

"In a moment," Jadaar said, turning onto his side facing Asric and pulling him close. Asric realized, with a start, that he'd never laid like this with Jadaar before — skin to skin, with only a thin layer of highly smeared sugar to separate them. "Was all of that an apology for dumping me into the cake in the first place?"

Asric thought for a moment. "…Yes?"

Jadaar closed his eyes and made a sound that was uncommonly like a purr. "Close enough," he said.