Sabre

Faerdir – Spirit(Faer) Man(Dir)

New favourite word – Susurrus

I weirdly got the title and plot idea from the quote 'We're in this together'

I want to say this before I start. I think it's great, that my work is inspiring others to write. I've been looking around when I can (Access to a pc is limited) and I find people saying they're writing cause they read me, and me making them do something new. It really does humble me seeing this, and I want to say thank you to those people simply for putting my name in their story. It's, humbling. So, in appreciation to my readers who follow me closely, Caravere, DJ Creeper, DigitalCypher (BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY BETA READER, WOOT, PROBABLY SHOUDLN'T BE DOING THIS IN A REALLY EMOTIONAL BIT OF WRITING), Jukemaster18, Killerguntop, Lumminate264, Nachtshadow, Nguyen Nguyen, Redwig, SecretPie, Suksan, TheFallenGeneral, The Limit of Force, Waddlebuff, navydiva, AdiposeSnorlax, BeartheLink, Dracobro, JcL107, MuffinMurf, Regicy45, Roamin12, Yordekaiser, savitar94, davda and RazorC (I see you there), and for anyone else who wants to simply read thoughts (I am a very literal typer, it'll be pretty true to my own thoughts), I will offer you my inspirations.

Personally, what actually drove me to write was kind of both need and as an apology. The need is because I'm studying to become a part of the film industry and I want to be able to write and create characters, and while I can't write a book, fanfic was the way to go and practice.

And the apology. My two greatest inspirations, J. and Terry Pratchett. From Tolkien I learnt description (Man there is wayyy to much in his books, but that's kinda while I love it, he's writing for himself, the readers just tag along) I learnt how to describe, to paint pictures. And from Pratchett I found out how to fill worlds with characters, make it seem like people lived in those worlds. Doing this, it's tiny parts of sentences, usually the stuff you'll whisk over, but they're integral to making your story feel deep.

The apology is to Pratchett. From him I learnt how to appreciate books, I learnt how to write comedy, and understand it. I learnt to look at the world and have a laugh at it because of how hopeless and tragic it may seem, we're still here. And I promised myself I'd go to meet him some day, and just say thank you. Well first he stopped book signing, no chance there, he was suffering with various illnesses yet survived most of them. Then he was still going to the festival of Hogswatch occasionally. But I never went. I contracted a unique type of depression which spawns from my long distance relationship which stopped me from going, so now when I'm with my girlfriend I fight depression (I don't blame her, she's amazing, it's an irrational depression with no one to blame, but it changed me and I'm not fit for her and she's not fit for me, but she still foolishly loves me and I don't want to leave and hurt her cause I still care for her and cause she deserves love and care, it's complicated as all hell). And I should've gone, even if he wasn't there, just hand a fan letter, or a postcard, or something to go to him. Just to say thank you. But I never did. I just wanted him to feel appreciated. To have basic human contact. But now, its too late, and now none of my inspirational authors live any more.

It's also why I write with a bit of comedy in all my writing style and talk to the reader, I was inspired by Pratchett

So this is my apology to them. I'm sorry I never properly expressed my gratitude to either of them (Admittedly, one was already dead before I was born), so I'll help fill the world with great stories and interesting characters.

Like they once did.

Good night Terry Pratchett.

You died the day Bard was released, so I like to think that a little bit of your soul is now a part of Bard. I'm sure you would've liked that, you techno savvy crazy fun old man.

Well this is a writing session wasted, I gotta go dry my eyes now and I can't think of writing anything else. I wonder if professional writers are all cry babies as well

Another writing session is now ruined, I watched 1966 Batman movie and all I can think about is camp things and how everyone's got 'shark repellent bat spray' ready at all times. God dammit 'Deus ex Machina'. Okay, managed to get 250 words done about, good enough for tonight I guess considering my brain just wants to 'DEUS EX MACHINA THIS SHIT'. That is not how writing works

Yay, let's sit down to do some writing. Huh, oh yeah, booking tickets back and forth to airport. Alright alright, go on the London underground, cool, cool. I suppose I'd better check all this international stuff is going fine, I mean I was told everything was completed almost 3 months back… 158 emails later tells me not so. Oh, and there's student finance. And more forms, and shuttle buses, temporary accommodation, initiation, Department of homeland security (WTF?), Fees fees fees, cooking dinner, finding documents, looking for stuff.

Sod it all, doing it later, sorry writing, I'm just gonna sit and watch Youtube for a bit, my head hurts from all this administration, can't I hire a secretary? Oh right, now I need an international bank. Becoming an American University student is bloody complicated

Really got stop playing League, but Butcher's Bridge is soooo good. And the storyline, and freaking everything they're doing. Thank god the lore team got back into action. Should I type with music on or not? Should I have so many biscuits? And why are Owls so funny? Okay, right, stop it. Need to plan out story, kinda hitting my head and just sitting here jamming. Should stop doing that.

I think this has akin to writing but I've been thinking a lot about filmmaking. And whenever I think of creating a scene or a film I just find a load of characters standing around and talking. And it's just kinda boring, like some films are great with it, and don't get me wrong, a lot of talking is needed in films, but it doesn't feel like a good film. Like a film with a lot of talking done well is Mr. Turner. Admittedly it's hard to watch and emotional, but in it they show so many different classes, relationships, lives, understandings and it's shown by how Turner has lived in all classes, from extremely wealthy to penniless(Favourite line showing this was 'Let me ask you a question on art young man, have you ever tried a Steak and Ale pie?'). Turner is the pivotal point where we can understand the world through, with a character who was only in the higher class it'd just become a boring movie. So what do I have to do? Do I always give characters something to do like in Spielberg's Oners (Oners (Pronouced One-urs) are where a scene is a single camera shot lasting about 2 minutes and the camera moves with the characters, it's what film students love cause they show finesse) or what? I'm kinda stuck. I'm not sure if this is to do with writing at all, but I feel like there must be something

I saw a hedgehog and managed to take pictures of it, it is a happy day and now I want to include hedgehogs into this story, why brain, why

Listening to music, my last day of rest in the UK before I'm off to America for at least a year, maybe 2.

Come on mind, remember to write like the characters are speaking to you. Mind you're really getting on my nerves, you have to remember so many things to be a good writer, you should do them subconsciously by now. So clearly, you're not a good writer. Well, always room for improvement. Think, if you asked a question to each of the characters, how would they respond, how would they say that answer and what would their body movements be. And that's kins just the beginning

I'm on a bus, I hit the floor. The bus had crashed, so I'm low low low low. My brain hurts…. Why am I writing on a 4 hour bus journey….? Cause I have nothing else to do… Stop arguing with yourself me….. Shut up me…. Why do you have to be logical… Now people are just gonna think we're crazy cause I actually typed this out….. God we're fraking stupid. You mean you are. You're also me me, you is also myself in which me…. Why the hell did I just do that. This headache isn't going to go away. I suck long distance trips. Even if I do them like 4 times a year. Makes no sense