Chapter 1:
The End.

She was still shaking even after it was over. Even when Syaoran had his arms around her and they were safely tucked underground Sakura couldn't stop trembling. She wasn't afraid like they thought. They kept telling her she was fine, that Syaoran wouldn't let anyone come for her and neither would any of them. He didn't say anything, but his hold around her was firm and confident to these words. But it wasn't the fear. It was the idea of what she had done, of what people did that made her so sad and shaky.

The horrible feeling even overpowered the normally exciting feeling she got from being able to share close intimacy with Syaoran. Instead she used his chest as a support and laid her cheek against his heart, hoping his steadily beating heart would calm her too.

"….are you alright?" After what had to have been an hour since she returned he finally asked. The short way he said it made her think he had been holding his breath, waiting to say it the whole time. There was a shakiness there too, that was not only endearing but comforting.

"I'm alright," she whispered. It was said softly but in the underground hideout it seemed to echo and extend to above them where their "enemies" waited. She shrunk further against him and started to shake again.

"You're not."

Sakura closed her eyes, feeling tears. "I'm not."

"...Something happened while you were there?"

"Nothing."

"…you're hurt?"

"…only on the inside, Syaoran."

"They hurt you?" he asked, surprisingly fierce.

"I hurt them."

"How."

Sakura didn't respond. She wasn't sure how to put it and decided to put her efforts into bringing herself closer to Syaoran instead. His smell, his presence, his very breath was the essence of right and comfort. She didn't want to shake anymore or to think about the evil work, no matter for good or bad, she had done and let herself fall into Syaoran instead. His arms were all she wanted to think about and his heart was all she wanted to hear. She was asleep long before the all clear had been given.

Syaoran carried her up to the main room. The action brought the eyes of all the force to them, most of them were attached to smiles though. One even laughed and asked, "And just what were you two doing down there that made her so tired….?" Syaoran had reddened from the insinuation especially when his hair was ruffled by the laughing rebel.

Past them was a semi-room with the only bed they had. A crude, dilapidated sort of thing he had found on the trail but better than a dirt floor or a tent wall for Sakura. After he covered her with his jacket and outer shirt Syaoran knelt next to her bed and took her hand in his, eventually letting his head fall near her body. When a soldier entered a few minutes later to ask Syaoran to take up a watch shift he saw the boy had fallen asleep near his charge. Their hands wouldn't part but the man doubted anyone would have the heart to do it even if it was possible.

Gray skies and dead fields of green. Roads were covered with footprints, always illuminated by the seemingly hidden sun.

There was a similar scene even here. No matter what side you were on or where you were the war always looked the same. Sakura allowed herself to smile from that. It made her ignorant for believing that to be on this side would mean you're evil, cruel, and without a heart. The truth of the matter was everyone in the war had too much heart, so much that it was ignored by other hearts as well as their own.

Behind her she could feel Syaoran watching her look out the window. He didn't talk much even as he answered and obeyed to his commands just fine. She didn't think he was heartless though. If Syaoran was then she would be dead by now. Everyone here had a heart, she repeated to herself as she smiled to Syaoran. But she didn't think most of them knew that the very thing driving them was against them too. That part was silenced with their desires.

"…They're coming back," she said absently. "We'll be leaving soon, won't we?"

After Syaoran didn't respond Sakura crawled out of the makeshift bed and came to his side instead. She didn't know why she did it but she took his hand. He looked like he didn't know why she did it either and glanced between their hands and her smile with what should have been confusion, but was only blankness.

He never told her about him, and no one knew much about him either, but Sakura supposed he had to be her age or maybe a little older. His features, though usually vacant and covered in dirt, were very striking. If he smiled she knew it would be beyond breathtaking. He rarely did, though. He either looked on blankly to her and their war-torn world or with seriousness. Too much for someone so young. He was tall compared with her too, and strong. Not only had he been able to pull himself out of the raging torrents of the river, but he had carried her in his arms without breaking his stride.

She took Syaoran's other hand and began to swing them as the memory left her with a greater smile. "I'm happy you brought me here."

"You're not."

"Well--not happy, happy…but..." She blushed lightly. "I'm happy I got to meet you."

He didn't respond this time, just looked onto her with a hard face. It was intimidating sometimes to see him look so firm and serious, but it was also a comfort too. Syaoran had already put her under his veil of protection and she felt completely safe in the midst of all her enemies. Even after yesterday….No. Especially after yesterday. An urge to hug him made her shift forward but she only moved close enough to feel his breath, not to touch him.

"You're still hurt."

"I wasn't hurt," she replied.

His face seemed to flex slightly. "….You said you were."

"I only hurt myself, really….and the people I thought I knew." She frowned and lowered her eyes to their hands. "…I thought I knew everything but really I only knew what they told me. Even so..." She looked back up to him. "I know I hurt them and myself from doing what I did."

She already knew he didn't understand. What she didn't expect was for him to say. "What can I do?"

"Nothing….not unless you can stop the war." For a second Sakura got an eerie impression that Syaoran was seriously considering it so she added "No. Not even that….people will always be people, so there will always be good and bad. I just didn't expect so much of it to be bad...."

"I didn't expect there to be any good."

Sakura's cheeks still burned even after the room and the conversation were all a memory. Was he really referring to her when he said it? Or was she just being silly to think it? Either way it made her smile on their march to the next site. The "enemies" were advancing in the west and so that's where they were heading. Sakura's mission yesterday had given them just what they wanted to know but…she really didn't want to think about that. Instead she hummed a light tune from her place in front of Syaoran. They always rode on horseback together since she was technically his charge. It sounded like a nice thing but Sakura wasn't stupid. She was being attentively watched in case she turned against them again. She had no thought to that, to be honest, but now thinking on it made her wonder what it was Syaoran was sworn to do to her if she did.

"It's going to get colder," she whispered.

Syaoran brought her closer in silence.

As the land stretched out the trees eventually widened out to relative nothingness too. The front of their group stopped but Syaoran pulled his horse around the stand-stills and kept moving forward. Sakura looked over the people they were traveling with. This, according to Syaoran, was a sect of a main group Hex. They were sent out to find information and since Sakura had secured it for them they were now heading back to their corps. All of the men looked somewhat mean to her, but that was only the strain from the ongoing stress and pressure the campaign brought for them. Inside, she knew, that each had someone precious waiting from them…many, though never speaking directly with them, she knew had only memories and empty homes by now. She was as guilty as the people who had done it, a thought that made her squirm closer to Syaoran.

"They're going to ask you about the front," he said. "We're stopping because the land is spreading out and they'll want to know where the danger is and where to attack."

A gloom cast a shadow over Sakura's light hum as she looked on to the familiar field. Two years ago she and her friends would have been running carelessly among the tall grass, ducking behind the meager tress. Now it was another battle. Another grave. She began to shake again and moved closer to Syaoran. People were telling her not to be afraid again. They were telling her Syaoran would protect her, that no harm would come to her even if the enemies recognized her from yesterday. But it just wasn't the fear. How could she say that, though? When these men lived in and out and for fear everyday?

No. Sakura wasn't afraid of death or of discovery. She feared her own heart and all the things it had obtained through her meeting of Syaoran and this corps and the way it battled with her emotions against what her life was before Syaoran had saved her from the river.

How could she explain to all these people that in this moment she could feel every separate heart beat? How do you tell people who fight with their fears for desire that the other people were doing the same thing? A battle of mirrors was all it was.

Everyone's heart beat together in her soul and Sakura felt herself grow dizzy. Her hand reached for Syaoran's from where it rested on the reins. As she looked on to the leaders of the sect Sakura felt him take her hand too.

Syaoran's heart beat under a different rhythm, she realized. When she looked up to him he wasn't looking at the battle or the leader. He wasn't anxiously touching the hilt of his sword as were all the men around them. He was looking at her and their hands.

"I'm alright," she said, smiling. She didn't know what else to say under his gaze and so turned to the leader to answer his questions.

Yes, there was a tent set up with supplies. No, there was no back up beyond the hill. She wasn't sure the numbers. She knew there was about five officers. Yes, the two they were looking for were on this site. But she was confident that those two wouldn't be captured. She upset people by saying this but she wouldn't lie. Kurogane-san and Fay-san wouldn't be captured. Surely they would die before they were, fighting to the very last second.

Her smile was more of a mock to the people around her but Sakura couldn't help this either. Even if they were as guilty as this group, she still loved Kurogane and Fay deeply.

"You'll have to ride with me as I fight," Syaoran told her later as he was helping her into a cloak. "They need me to push through to the other side."

"…which way?"

"Through the middle. It's not front line," he explained. "But I'll need to leave a path as we go."

"It sounds morbid…"

"That's because it is," he whispered. Though his face never really changed Sakura thought he was frowning as he helped her back on their horse "It won't take long for us to get through. I'll make sure of it."

Another chill ran up her spin as Syaoran settled himself behind her. She knew she shouldn't but she asked, "Why do you protect me…?"

The reason she knew she shouldn't was because Syaoran should respond that it was his job. She was being shameless by pushing him for her curiosity and when he didn't answer she could feel his sudden coldness. But his coldness wasn't anger or frustration, it was more of an anxiety that was hidden by a hard face.

"Because you deserve to be protected." He took up the reins quickly. "You also deserve to be happy…"

"….Everyone deserves to be happy, Syaoran."

"Some people haven't earned the right to be happy yet. And other people, whether they deserve it or not, will never have it. You deserve it, though. I'm sure of it.

"…and you?" Sakura touched his cheek when he wouldn't look at her. "Don't you think you deserve to be happy?"

"….I don't know." He looked to the hand on his cheek with absent attention. "But I know you do."

It was the last conversation she had with Syaoran.

In absolute defiance to his oath, he didn't carve a path through the line for the other's to follow. She didn't understand when they stopped in the middle of a camp. She was horrified when he pushed her off the horse. It was only when she saw the last of Syaoran's blood dripping from Kurogane's sword did Sakura understand what Syaoran had done--

TSUBASA:RC does not belong to me.