A/N: This little oneshot came about as I was listening to Kelly Clarkson's 'Behind These Hazel Eyes' and I just had to write it. It was sat in the forefront of my mind, poking me and refusing to go away until it was done. Anyway I hope you enjoy it and I'd really appreciate some reviews as it's the first time I've ever written anything angsty and it's also the first time I've written about Lily and James.
James always had been captivated by them, the incredibly bright green eyes of Lily Evans. From the very first moment he had seen her in that compartment on the Hogwarts Express on his way to the famous castle for his first year of wizarding education, he had noticed them and thought of them as something quite out of this world. They spoke of untold stories and never once had the red-haired girl been able to hide her feelings, because they showed so clearly through her beautiful eyes.
In the boys dormitory that evening, James Potter was sitting on his bed, avidly discussing the other people in their year with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew. Their only other dorm-mate wasn't interested in gossiping with them and had gone to sleep rather quickly.
"What about that Snape kid?" Sirius asked.
"Can't stand him, 'if you'd rather be brawny…'" James replied in a cruel imitation.
"How about Lily Evans then? She seemed a bit friendly with him on the train."
"I thought she seemed nice," Remus said lightly. It wasn't in his nature to speak badly of other people. He was too kind.
"Yeah," Peter agreed. In the years to come James would begin to think that it was impossible for Peter Pettigrew to have an opinion of his own and he had to use other people's.
"What about you, James? What did you think?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah she seemed nice. Really nice," James said distractedly; too busy picturing her green eyes to pay proper attention to the conversation.
In his second year at Hogwarts they sat beside one another in Potions, and although Lily often snubbed James Potter for his mischievous ways, she did lend him her brilliance in mixing the ingredients, and this gave the thirteen year old boy plenty of opportunity to stare at her. Her green eyes were now a distraction wherever he went.
"James, you're potion is curdling," Lily told him pointedly.
"What?" James asked dreamily. Beside him acrid smoke was steaming pirouetting out of his cauldron, making the air in front of Lily, the very air he was trying to stare through, hazy.
"James! Your potion!"
"Oh, bloody hell!" James exclaimed, finally looking down after Lily's urgent tone. The black, viscous potion was now on fire and spitting flaming balls into the air. One of them very nearly hit Lily who had to throw herself off her chair to avoid it. "Sorry!" He called to her from behind what was supposed to be his Salivating Solution. "What do I do?" He hissed to her as Professor Slughorn came nearer.
"Quickly add your Essence of Formaldehyde!"
James never did manage to scrape above a D in Potions that year.
Then, in his third year, he began to notice the rest of her. How she was beginning to get taller and fairer every day. How her pale skin looked amazing beside her waves of fiery hair. Her slim waist made him gaze longingly after her as her hips swung from side to side when she walked about the castle. The few freckles across her nose and cheeks caught his attention every time he walked past her, but it was the eyes that still entranced him. Always the eyes.
"James?" Sirius asked for the second time.
"Yeah…"
"Are you even listening to me?"
"Yes!" James said indignantly, finally turning to look at his best friend.
"Right…anyway, what did you have planned for Jamie Kindel then?"
"I was thinking dung bombs…in his pants."
Sirius and Peter guffawed and wondered vaguely why James wasn't laughing with them and was instead looking across the Transfiguration Courtyard. Of course, it was break time and Lily Evans had just walked past them, her elbow brushing James arm in the forced proximity of the archway. She wore her winter cloak so her figure was mostly hidden, but James was already picturing her hips and waist anyway. He just wished, like always, that she was facing him so he could see her eyes.
In the fourth year, he was dying to ask her out, but he could never quite work up the courage.
He would bolstered his efforts, walked towards her and said, "Hey, Lily, could I talk to you for a moment," as he tapped her on the shoulder.
"Sure, James." She turned away from her group of friends sending (including Severus Snape, who glared at James before going off to his next lesson) her violently red hair flying in all directions and asked with a polite smile, "What do you want to talk about?"
"J-just…t-th-that P-Peter f-f-fancies your friend, K-Katy, and is too ch-chicken to tell her…"
"Oh that's really sweet. I'll tell her shall I, see if we can't set them up?"
"S-s-sure," James stuttered, turning red in embarrassment. Lily jogged off to re-join her friends and Sirius, Remus and Peter caught up with James as he aimed a kick at the wall.
"How'd it go?" Sirius asked excitedly.
"Rubbish. Horrible."
"What's the matter, James?" Remus asked, noticing his friend's obvious frustration.
"He's luurrve-sick!" Sirius said loudly.
"Shut up!" As his friends laughed loudly, James drew his wand and threatened to hex them all unless they shut up, which eventually they did, knowing that James was an excellent wizard.
Every time he tried to talk to Lily he would get lost in her wondrous eyes and lose all ability to speak. It was particularly annoying for James to feel so cowardly. As a Gryffindor he was meant to be courageous, but he didn't feel brave at all. His tongue tied state of nervousness did not endear her towards him and the frustration that began to build up as she continued to practically ignore him had to be released in more mischief. Mischief that Severus Snape almost always fell afoul of. He tried harder in quidditch matches, letting the quaffle be taken from him only to catch it in an opposing Chaser's shot at the goal, sometimes even allowing himself to be injured to try to win her sympathies but it was to no avail. She just didn't seem to see him as anything other than an acquaintance. His friends would often mock him for how he turned into a bumbling idiot for her, but he didn't care. He'd wanted her from the moment he saw her eyes. And he wouldn't give up. When the end of the term came, he just rethought his strategies and was going to try anew the following year.
As a fifth year student, he never had as much time to devote to his pursuit of Lily Evans. With OWLs and the tons of homework that came from them, quidditch and the events of the full moon, he often could only watch her from afar as she sat underneath a tree by the Lake with one of the Slytherin boys, Snape, who was always hanging about with a crowd of Dark Arts lovers. They disgusted James and he couldn't believe Lily would be friends with Severus Snape.
"I just don't understand what she sees in him!" James complained to Sirius one day. He often voiced the same objection to their friendship and no-one ever had an answer for him.
"I know, mate. I don't understand it either. Maybe she thinks your head is too big," the dark-haired boy replied jokingly.
James anxiously ran his hands over his head, ignoring the snort of laughter Sirius gave. Neither Remus or Peter were paying attention. Remus was revising whilst Peter avidly watched the snitch circling his head.
"So what are we going to do this full moon? I'm getting bored with the shack. What do you think, Moony?"
"I think you're right, Prongs," Sirius said before Remus could answer. "Hogsmeade feels like a much bigger adventure, don't you think? Prongs? Hell-oo?"
But James had returned to watching Lily by the Lake. She was laughing at something Snivellus had said.
Sirius sighed in annoyance and turned to his other two friends, leaving James to moon after the girl with the green eyes.
Finally though, one day he managed to get the slimy-haired boy out of her life. The shout of Snape calling her a mudblood tormented James and he couldn't resist his continued bullying of the boy he nicknamed Snivellus. But even though he had stood up for her, defended her even, Lily would not spare James a glance. He had asked her out numerous times but she kept refusing, calling him and 'arrogant toe-rag.' Sirius and Remus had tried to persuade him to date someone else, perhaps just for a week or two to try to make her jealous, but James refused, knowing there would never be anyone else for him.
The sixth year was just as much of a horrid trial. The enjoyment James got out of hexing people in corridors was beginning to wane, but Severus Snape continued to try to curse James, especially before quidditch games to stop him playing. James was now the captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team as well as their star chaser. With his fast reflexes, he probably could probably have played seeker, but he just preferred the comfort of the big, red quaffle. The Slytherin house were fed up of James and his team beating them every year and resorted to dirty tactics to keep him away from the pitch. But with his reflexes James was always quicker with his wand and Severus Snape often ended up in the Hospital Wing. The only other people he hexed were Slytherins who were aching to become Death Eaters and amused themselves by picking on Muggle-borns. He continued to ask Lily Evans out but she continued to refuse and astounded him by thinking up many more insults to throw at him. He was now, not only an 'arrogant toe-rag' but also, a 'jumped up twit' and an 'ignorant bully' even though he only hexed people to protect others.
"You know I like you, Lily," he said pleadingly, using her name instead of 'Evans' in the hope that that might help persuade her.
"So? It doesn't matter whether you like me, Potter, I don't like you, not in that way anyway."
"B-But I don't even hex people anymore," he protested, knowing she had never approved of that behaviour. She had stopped him enough times. She raised an eyebrow in disbelief and James was forced to continue. "Much."
She turned to go up the stairs to her dormitory, but James grabbed her arm and turned her back to face him, searching for her eyes. He wanted to see the emotions in them when he asked her again.
"Will you please go out with me?"
"No," she answered simply, but she was letting him down as gently as she could. Her green eyes were wide with begging, asking him to just leave her alone, and he thought it looked like she pitied him too. James nodded and let her go to bed before sinking into the comfiest armchair by the fire.
He thought he heard a sob coming from the staircase Lily had disappeared up, but when he looked there was no-one there.
As he stared into the flames, he tried to figure out what to do. He was desperately in love with Lily Evans but she didn't like him, so he resolved to keep up his golden boy behaviour and hope that she might just change her mind.
In the seventh year he finally did it. He asked Lily Evans on a date, whether she would like to accompany him on the Hogsmeade trip, and got her to accept. James almost didn't believe it when she said yes. He had already resigned himself to a no, because Lily never acted like she was particularly fond of him and had refused him too many times to count.
When the day of it dawned, he rose, anxious about what might happen and promised to himself to act nicely and be good all day. He wouldn't show off and he would ask her questions rather than talk about himself. He dressed smartly, wearing his best robes, excepting, of course, his dress robes which were for parties, and then met her in the entrance hall. She looked spectacular in the midnight-blue robes that beautifully complemented the eyes that James was so in love with.
"Are you ready to go?" James asked her, holding his arm out for her like a true gentleman.
Lily took his arm and the pair of them left the warmth of the castle for the wintery road to Hogsmeade.
"How's your sister?" James asked politely, slightly scared of the silence they had been walking in.
Lily frowned slightly before answering him with a question of her own. "How did you know I've got a sister?"
"You told me once," James assured her. "So how is she?"
Lily knew she had never said any such thing about her family to James; except, perhaps, telling him in their first year, as they sat opposite each other at the beginning of the year feast, that her parents were both Muggles. Nevertheless, she duly answered him with details of what Petunia was up to, how she was engaged to a boy named Vernon Dursley.
When they arrived in Hogsmeade James had asked her every question about her family he could think of and instead turned the conversation towards where she wanted to go.
"How about the Three Broomsticks? I think my toes have frozen in this weather, I could do with a firewhisky to put some feeling back into them, but I'll settle for a butterbeer."
"Good idea," James replied and pushed open the door to the homely pub. It was warm and cosy and they chose a secluded table away from the Slytherins who were eagerly watching them, probably waiting to report back to their friend, Snape. Madam Rosmerta came over to ask whether they wanted anything to eat.
"Abandoning Sirius, James? You must be on a date to do that!" To Lily she murmured, "He's ever so handsome, don't you think?"
Lily and James both blushed and quickly ordered some drinks and food, hoping to be able to get rid of her.
"Sorry about that," James whispered, jerking his head towards the barmaid who was now watching them with a smile from behind the bar as she wiped two glasses and filled them with butterbeer.
"I don't mind," Lily replied in equally hushed tones. "You seem different this year, James."
"You mean I'm not an arrogant, mischievous, little boy anymore?" James said with a laugh.
"No. You're…responsible."
"Well, I am Head Boy. I have to be. I'm still surprised about that actually."
"Clearly Professor Dumbledore noticed the change too," Lily replied kindly.
"What about you? Were you surprised?"
"Yes. I thought Moony was bound to get Head Boy, being the prefect for Gryffindor and all."
"Ha ha," James said sarcastically. "I meant were you surprised about your appointment as Head Girl."
"I know you did. I was. It made me really happy though," Lily replied with honesty.
"You deserve it," James told her. "You've always been so helpful towards others. You're really nice towards Moony even though you know what he is and you help Peter in charms and you used to always help me in Potions."
"Thanks," Lily said, turning scarlet in the cheeks form embarrassment. "You deserve it too."
"Huh? I thought I was an arrogant toe-rag."
"Well, you were, but I also couldn't help admiring the way you always stood up for people," Lily said, laughing lightly.
"Thanks. I just can't stand the Dark Arts," James muttered, ducking his head slightly as it became his turn to be embarrassed.
After that, they talked of more immaterial things like their upcoming NEWT exams and what they wanted to do after Hogwarts.
Luckily the date went well and after a few more James and Lily became a couple, much to the dismay of Severus Snape.
And then, James Potter married Lily Evans. As he lifted the veil from her face, he stared into her vibrant green eyes once again as he kissed her, sealing their bond. They had already joined the Order of the Phoenix and refused to join Voldemort when he had tried to recruit them. James loved that Lily was still so generous and always invited his friends around. It was Lily's idea for James to financially support Remus in his unemployed state and James loved her all the more for it.
"I love you," James told Lily again.
She smiled and repeated the sentiment to him, before tightening her arms around his neck and running one of her hands through his ruffled hair. James leaned forwards, breathless, and pressed his lips to her soft ones.
Then, when their son was born, James was happier than ever. The exact eyes that he had always loved had been copied into Harry's face. Even hours after giving birth, Lily was still wide awake, staring into her son's face, both of their green eyes taking the other set in in contentment. James pressed his lips to his wife's forehead and gently told her to rest.
"Give Harry to me. I'll watch him," he said lovingly.
Lily relinquished her hold on their son and the green-eyed boy was handed to James, who sat in the Rocking chair in the corner of their bedroom with the infant. He stared into the eyes, wondering at how they were so similar to his wife's and thought briefly with irony that someday they would be what caught the attention of his own wife. Every girl would love his Harry's eyes just as he loved Lily's.
A/N: So what did you think? Good? Bad? Let me know.