Yeah… my life sucks right now. Writing is pretty much the best way for me to blow off some steam and get my thoughts together, so I thought I would put together a little one-shot based on one of my favorite cheesy songs! I know this probably sounds a little corny, but this song helps to remind me that things aren't always what they seem, and problems aren't always a big as you make them. You have to learn to enjoy all the little things and not to jump to conclusions about people (or situations for that matter.) No matter how much life seems to suck, you have to learn to focus on the bigger picture, and quite frankly you have to learn to be a bit of an optimist. It takes some work, but hey- Life is only what you make it! Right? I think that the world would be a much better place if people learned to live by that principal, and that is why I am making it the theme of this one-shot!
By the way, I am sorry about grammatical and spelling errors, but to be honest I am not taking this story too seriously. It was written quickly, and it is just a short piece of work meant to help me stimulate my brain and help me put myself back together. I am having a lot of outside troubles, but I refuse to let my optimism fail. I know that things will get better someday. Anyways, feel free to review, I might consider turning this into a full blown Inu/Kag story if I get enough positive feedback on it. I just have to know that people are interested. Thanks for reading: )
Disclaimer: I DON'T own Inuyasha or Rocket Summer.
Oh yeah- FYI:
'thoughts'
"Song lyrics"
The song is "Never knew" by The Rocket Summer. (If you can download it, it's a great song! It's hard to grasp from the lyrics alone but I definitely recommend giving it a listen! Even if it's not quite your cup of tea, it's nice to listen to while you are reading the story.)
Autumn leaves crunched under Inuyasha's calloused feet as he made his way across the forest, thoughts consuming his mind. Kagome had gone home earlier today, and he was missing her terribly. It was all his fault. He had chased her off… again. An inappropriate comment or two had never been uncharacteristic of him, but this time… It was different.
Flashback:
Kagome- Inuyasha, do you think that we could maybe stop and take a break for a while? I'm not feeling all that well.
Inuyasha- You filthy, weak humans. When don't you need to rest?
'Never mind.' Kagome muttered as she turned her head away. She pressed on, even though she was not in the proper condition to do so. Later that evening (when they finally did stop) she made up the excuse that she "had a test," in order to go home… even though it was not the truth. She needed time alone. She never meant to be so sensitive, but she always took those things to heart. She loved the hanyou, and it hurt to hear him put her down in such a way.
Inuyasha had felt badly about what he said the moment it left his mouth. It had become like a reflex to him. He never meant a word. As Kagome grabbed her things to leave he noticed the unmistakable scent of her tears. It tore at his heart. He wanted to go to her, embrace her, and apologize with all of his heart… but he wasn't strong enough to do it. So he simply watched her go.
He told the group that he would be gone for a while, and after noticing the forlorn look on his face they didn't ask questions. He just needed some time alone to sort things out. Everything had been so… different for him lately.
It had always been so easy for him to push away the things that he feared, the things that he felt threatened by. As a hanyou, he never felt that he really belonged. He never truly felt loved, even when it came to Kikyo. Sure she had shown him more kindness than anyone else had before- but he never felt that she truly accepted him. She had wanted him to change after all; to become a human. Sadly enough, he was almost ready to accept her offer. He had never known what it was like to belong, to be loved, and possibly have a small chance at normalcy. Humans and demons alike shunned him, finding his very existence repulsive. He didn't feel that he had another choice. Not until now, that is.
Kagome… she had shown him nothing but love and friendship. She was always there for him, and saw his hanyou heritage as a strength- never a weakness. But most importantly, she had never judged him. Hell, it wasn't in her nature to pass judgment on anyone. She believes that you are what you make yourself, and that has nothing to do where you come from or who your parents are. The thought brought a smile to his face. He only wished that his heart was so kind. Up until now, he had given humans a label… just as they had done to him. He would tell himself that they were weak creatures, not worthy of his time. After all, it was simply easier to pretend that they were beneath him. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much when they turned their faces away in disgust.
'But Kagome would never do that.' He thought. He couldn't help but wonder if he had been too quick to jump to conclusions.
He had shut himself off from the world, hoping that things would be easier that way. But was preventing himself from getting hurt his one true mistake? He had always seen emotion as a weakness. 'Only fools fall in love.' He would say. But now that he had fallen himself, he was beginning to see the error of his ways.
'Some humans are cruel, and some are ignorant fools. But is it really fair to hold all humans up to that standard?' He scowled at himself. He knew that it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to Kagome that he had judged her based on the fact that she had been a human. She has the potential to be anything she wants to be. Why judge her based on someone else's strengths or weaknesses? 'Why judge her based on the ones who judged me?'
She has always seen things in that light, so why shouldn't he? It was at that moment that he realized how much she really meant to him. He was in love with Kagome. Head over heels, to be precise. His whole life he had always been too judgmental, or scared to let anyone else get so close… but like he said… things were just different this time.
He had finally seen the light; the few rays of knowledge that he had always blocked from his vision finally penetrated his mind. It was with this knowledge that he finally realized that he was ready. Ready to be open minded. Ready to face his fears. Ready to grow up. And it was all thanks to her.
He took a deep breath as he finally reached his destination. This was his final test. It was painful to visit this place, after all of the cruelty that he had to endure within it's borders, but he was ready to put this all past him and start a new chapter of his life. He had to prove to himself that he was strong enough to bear the critism, as long as it meant that he and Kagome could be together someday. So with that thought, he stepped into the village that he used to call home.
A villager stopped dead in his tracks as he noticed the hanyou closing in on him. Inuyasha gauged his reaction, and peacefully sidestepped the man, continuing his journey to the center of the village.
A family passed by, and the mother held her children closely, her arms offering what little protection they could. Inuyasha noticed this, but for some reason it didn't have the same effect on him that it once did. What the mother did was wrong, no doubt about it. It was rash, and flat out rude to assume that simply because he was a hanyou he intended to harm her children. But while the fear was misguided, she had her children's best interests at heart. He understood this now. He soon passed them, and swept his eyes across the village, taking in the sight of its inhabitants. They were descendants of the people that used to live here. The ones that degraded him, and put him down because of his heritage.
"I
just ran into a few someones today…
Someones that I never really
knew"
You cannot change anyone's thoughts or opinions but your own, and it would be stupid to try. How can you pass judgment on someone when you don't know their story? 'I know what it's like to be there. It hurts. And now I have hurt the one person that I truly care about because of someone else's mistake.' Inuyasha smiled half-heartedly. 'We're all too blind to see it when we pass judgment on others. It is only when it is passed onto us that we feel it's painful sting.'
"And I used to think how I had them all so figured out…"
Kagome was never that way. She had a kind heart and an open mind. 'I can see that now. I see past the stereotypes and labels, just as she has seen through mine.'
"But
no, none of it's true, 'cause I never knew you-
And now the
truth of it is, is I wanna be like you.
So hello, good friend, I
wanna be next to you-
For my head, for my heart, for what's
true…"
He meandered over to the hut that he used to reside in. There was a new family living there now. He didn't want to disturb them, so he watched through the window. He saw the children playing, wrestling on the floor while the parents looked on in annoyance. Through the veil of anger though, he saw a love shining through their eyes. In a way it reminded him of their small group. While they did manage to get into a few fights every now and again, the love was always there. It was the glue that held them together, and gave them the strength to carry on through thick and thin. 'Maybe we're not all SO different…'
"So I'm burning the thoughts of the things that I once said"
He silently thanked the gods for the fact that he had Kagome in his life. She was his savior. She opened his eyes. For the first time, he felt free.
"Because
you tore down the walls that the world has put inside my head.
And
I just get sick of things that we think, we think
we know…
And
no! None of it's true, 'cause I never knew you-
And now the
truth of it is, is I wanna be like you.
So hello, good friend, I
wanna be next to you-
For my head, for my heart, for what's
true…"
He began to head back the way he came. He found the answers that he had been looking for. Everything was so clear to him now. The kindness and understanding was there in his heart all along… he had just kept it so heavily guarded that he never thought it could be reached. But Kagome found it. And for her, it was effortless. She had that effect on people. Her loving nature was contagious.
"So
take me and save me and change me and then make me
And embrace me
and then brave my heart for you…"
Inuyasha knew that he needed her. There was no denying it anymore. But he had hurt her, time and time again. She was too good for that. He had to make things right- he couldn't stand the thought of losing her because of his own ignorance and stupidity.
No,
No, 'cause I can't go on without you-
And it's time for
something we never knew, oh…
And
no! None of it's true, 'cause I never knew you-
And now the
truth of it is, is I wanna be like you.
So hello, good friend, I
wanna be next to you-
For my head, for my heart, for what's
true…"
He now raced through the village, bounding past the frightened mother, and smiling happily as he noticed the children staring on in awe. They actually looked up to him. The idea of hanyous being 'bad' hadn't been placed in their mind yet. 'Maybe there is hope after all.'
"And
as they strolled along
My heart broke out in song
From all the
things and the thoughts and assumptions that I had wrong"
Despite all his previous worry, Inuyasha was happy. Happier than he had ever been in his entire life. He had just stepped out of the darkness, and into the sun. And to top it all off, he was in love! He was going to go to her now, and tell her how he felt. He wasn't afraid anymore.
"See
now I'll be on my way to make this claim
I'll make it famous in
everyway
I'll make it stay when I will say that...
No!
none of it's true 'cause I never knew you…
And now the truth
of it is, is I wanna be like you.
So hello, good friend, I wanna
be next to you,
For my head for my heart for what's true…"
Ok! It's done! I know it's not much -but hey- I was feeling it, ya know? Sometimes the fever hits you and you just have to go with it! Well, writing this sure has had a positive effect on me. It's lifted my spirits! Now I can only hope that you enjoyed reading it! I would absolutely love and adore you if you would leave me a little review, and let me know what you thought. And I promise that if enough people ask I will continue this. (Until then it will stay a one-shot though.) Thank you so much for taking your time to read and review this!
Hugs and kisses: )