Resilience
A Gundam SEED Fanfiction
By Termony

Disclaimer: I do NOT own any part of Gundam SEED or Gundam SEED Destiny.

I remember a long time ago, I use to have this dream.

In it, I see my deceased mother.

"Resilience, Fllay, always remember this word, ok?" That is what she always says.

And I always ask, "Resilience? What is that?"

"The ability to withstand change," she looks into my eyes. "Even if mommy were no longer with you physically, mommy's in your heart, and you won't forget mommy, right?"

I don't understand at that time, but I give my promise. "OK. But first, you gotta find me in hide-and-seek!"

Then, I jump off the chair and run into the bushes of the garden.

Somehow, I feel her smile.

-/-

"So… your name?" The masked man asked me. I was not looking, but I felt his gaze.

"Fllay…Fllay... Allster," I answered timidly.

"Ah… an Allster. My pleasure. We don't see that much of them around anymore… What a pity."

I stayed silent.

"Well, get comfortable here. Don't enjoy too much though. It'd hurt our pride to let our prisoners have too much fun," he said playfully. "Rose, please bring her back to her room. From now on, she'll be my assistant."

"Yes, Commander," Rose faithfully answered. Then, she looked at me, "let's go."

I nodded.

I followed her out of the room.

For a while, she walked in the front and led me back to my room. She opened the door and used her hand to tell me that I should be walking in and that she was not going in with me.

I hesitated. I wanted to be with her. But I walked in.

This feeling made me confused, but then I thought of Kira.

But I was not afraid of Kira like I was afraid of Rose.

I hated coordinators because they were coordinators and I was a natural, and I expected that they hated me for the same reasons.

Maybe that commander did, and maybe Rose did, too.

But…were they really the people who killed my father?

They seemed no different from other people-other naturals I had seen… So was Kira… without his abilities… he was just another guy…

Why did I hate?

-/-

Days passed by fast. Soon, I was helping out Le Cruset with his tea. More surprisingly, a red coat came to the ship. He had a scar on his face.

After seeing him for the first time, Rose told me, "He got that scar from the Strike."

I asked, "He was also one of the pilots who were chasing down Archangel?"

Rose nodded. "He was determined to take down Strike."

After that, as I gave Le Cruset his cup of tea, I asked, "Did you… were you…chasing Archangel?"

He smiled.

"Yes-and we destroyed the ship that George Allster was on."

Daddy...

"Humans always care for something that can be lost so easily…in the end, what they care about lie meaninglessly as corps," he smirked, perhaps more to himself than me. "It's so hard to find surprises."

Is daddy and mommy meaningless?

No…that can't be it, but I don't know what else to think.

This man...I looked up. What has he gone through?

"Why don't you rest for today now?" He dismissed me.

As I walked towards my room, mommy's voice appeared in my head. "Resilience, Fllay, always remember this word, ok?"

Resilience…huh? Mommy, could I ever live to be the daughter you wanted?

A day later, that red coat spoke to me.

"Hey, do you know where is Commander Le Cruset?" He asked, before realizing that I was the prisoner. "Oh, it's you."

I looked up to him.

The scar was very noticeable. It probably hurt. He killed my father, and Kira did that to him... Kira wanted to protect, and he wanted revenge. They were both trying so hard to do what they do...

They were... just like me.

We lacked...resilience.

…Right?

Or… somehow we couldn't change?

End of The Story

Author's Notes Years Ago:

I wanted to write a fanfic based on Fllay's point of view for a long time. I actually wrote it and she sounds quite rational. I fear that the Fllay in this work is out of character. I was talking to a friend and realized that both of us are fed up about the love stuff in main stream media. So many songs, books, films, animes are about love, so I decided to write something a little different.

I don't want Fllay to be clingy over Kira. I want something real, something that's close to my depiction of reality. She's really smart. She makes a speech about wanting to fight in the war and that actually persuades others to enlist in the military. We can tell that she thinks things through at the end of SEED. As much as even I do usually associate her with strong emotions, I can't help but think that this is also another possibility of who she is.

This undetermined ending is due to the fact that I want to only tell a little, but significant part of her growth. We get to know what she really thinks and feels in SEED already. I don't want to be repetitive.

Nevertheless, thank you for reading.

Author's Notes Now:

What I said is still true. But… when I looked at this again now, I feel that my writing improved since then. Also, I think the idea is better developed. I still feel sad about this story. Anyway, cheers!