Harvest Moon: Dog Eat Dog
The boy looked at all of his hard work and smirked. Man, the crops were certainly coming along. The turnips looked white, the squash was blooming, and the pumpkins were beginning to get round. Yes, it looked like his inherited farm was actually going places. Nothing could go wrong in his sweet little life. He thanked Natsume for giving him the opportunity to live on this farm, and he thanked his father's spirit. Scratching his dog's worn, ratty ears, he climbed into bed and went for lights out. Tomorrow's another day.
Mig sat in the bushes drinking beer from a can. Man it was warm, but he didn't care. College had taught him to drink the swill in any condition, frozen, wet, or warmed. He nudged Arnie and winked in the dark. Arnie was drinking wine because he was a pussy. Arnie grinned a goofy grin, letting the wine spill out from his rubbery lips like an ethnic Dracula. It was almost time to ruin the farm. It was Tuesday night and term papers were due the next day. Luckily, Mig and Arnie had finished their papers well in advance and gotten the professor to proofread their work. It was time to get drunk/naughty.
"C'mon my roommate. Let's go fuck the man with everything we've got. Pour your back into this and really ruin his vegetable. I hated eating broccolis and peas as a boy, payback is certainly my bitch." Mig sneered and spit beer at Arnie. Arnie jumped back, tripping over a pumpkin patch. He looked down at the oblong veggies an unzipped his fly. Letting loose a warm stream of concentrated waste, he gave the plants a watering of his own. When he was finished, the vegetables were yellow. Mig gave him the "Great Job" signal and did some watering of his own.
Inside, the boy slept soundly. The dog, however, was not sleeping. He pranced through the dog door and watched the college men destroy. It made him so mad.
The boys walked to the watermelons and rubbed their open asses up against the thick green hides. "Hey this is not vegetables, why are we doing it to them?" Inquired Arnie. Mig shrugged and waggled his nude ass in response. This was all that Arnie needed to hear. He continued to streak his ass greedily against the fruit. It wasn't until he felt the fangs sink into the side of his neck that he had made a true mistake.
The dog bit and bit until blood sprayed all over his brown and white coat, wetting the ground and temporarily blinding his eyes. Arnie screamed and the dog continued to bite. Soon, the neck gave way and Arnie's head rolled cleanly off his body. One down, Mig to go.
Mig didn't even realize what was happening until the dog was upon his face, biting and clawing at his nose, lips, and teeth. It wasn't long before he missed his mother and saw the face of Satan himself. He was dead. The dog smirked and spit out what was left of Mig's ear.
Without saying a word, the dog dragged the boys over to the wood chipper and caught their bloody chips in a garbage bag. He spent the rest of the night spreading their bloody remains all over the farm. He grabbed a pair of sunglasses for his bloodshot eyes and went to sleep outside the front door.
The next morning, the boy came outside, horrified to see that someone had left brown streaks all over his beautiful watermelon crop. "Oh my god…these will never grow! What am I doing!" the boy shrieked.
The dog looked at its master and brought a single paw to his smirking face. Lowering the sunglasses to the tip of his snout he replied, "Oh, I wouldn't worry about these plants growing. Let's just say that I applied some of my special fertilizer."
The boy looked down at his pooch and raised his eyebrows. "The dog talks!" he said.
The End