Next To Him, a Tower of God fanfic
Summary: Unlike Maria, he didn't ask why I decided to sleep beside him. Baam said nothing, only staring on with his big, innocent, mesmerizing golden eyes as he lay on his side, facing me. It was like he simply accepted the fact that I was there right next to him. KoonXBaam
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tower of God. [if I did, Koon and Baam would have had sloppy makeouts earlier in the series LOL]
A/N: So this fic's setting occurs the night before the "gamblers" were announced. POVs switch between Viole and Koon throughout the fic, so I hope you don't get confused while reading. Their personal thoughts and some words I think should be stressed are italicized (if the word being stressed is included in their personal thoughts, it's not italicized).
I don't even know if this is friendship or something more, so I leave it up to the interpretation of the reader. OTL
Viole stood at the balcony, gazing up at the artificial sky. The stars were fake, he knew that much.
Rachel wouldn't settle with fakes. That's why she wanted to climb the tower. For the real thing.
"But why…?" Viole murmured.
Why did Rachel betray me?
The way Baam knew her, she wouldn't be one to sacrifice a friend for personal gain. Viole didn't know what to think.
Did she really consider me her friend? Was she blackmailed into pushing me out of the bubble?
He needed answers.
The creature inside Baam stirred, making him press the heel of his hand against his aching forehead. Maybe it was a sign that he shouldn't be thinking of such things at a time like this.
Koon waited until Rak left him alone in his room, the alligator having been appeased with the Light Bearer's resolve to get Baam back in order for them to climb the tower together like before.
He released a breath he didn't know he was holding in.
Koon loved challenges. It shouldn't scare him this much to execute the rest of the plans he had in order to get Baam back. The last time he felt this way was…
… when I was helping Maria become a princess of Zahard.
Koon leaned against the railings of the balcony and looked up at the sky.
His gaze lingered upon the "stars" in the artificial sky, and then he remembered Rachel.
Rachel tended to gaze at the stars in the sky when she wasn't busy stretching her legs, unaware that she was being monitored.
Koon grimaced. He hated that woman.
Viole went back inside his dark room and made a beeline for his bed.
The Slayer candidate toed off his shoes, removed his hair tie, and changed into his sleeping clothes. He curled up under the sheets, laying his head against the soft pillow. He briefly wondered if Koon made it on the Archimedes.
No, knowing Mr. Koon, he probably got on.
Viole touched the other side of the bed, letting his fingers slide against the cold fabric. Often he'd recall the night Koon slept beside him on the night before Rachel betrayed him.
The warm and safe feeling he felt when Koon was right next to him was what he considered the calm before the storm.
Koon went back inside and turned the lights off in his room. He sat on the edge of his bed and removed his shoes. Having removed his shirt and his pants, he slid under the sheets in only his light blue boxers.
Koon turned over to lie on his side. He held his arms out before him on the empty side of the bed, as if wanting to embrace someone who wasn't even there. But it wasn't Maria he was thinking of. He recalled the night he once slept next to Baam.
The night before the guardian's test for Baam, I slid in between the sheets next to him. All I wanted was to be right next to someone I trusted, so I could at least stave off some of my loneliness. Baam makes me feel at ease.
Unlike Maria, he didn't ask why I decided to sleep beside him. Baam said nothing, only staring on with his big, innocent, mesmerizing golden eyes as he lay on his side, facing me.
It was like he simply accepted the fact that I was there right next to him.
I trust Mr. Koon. He's my friend and teammate. Surely friends can sleep next to each other in the same bed.
Mr. Koon felt soothingly warm that night. I went closer to him, and, seeing that he didn't seem to find any fault with my actions, curled up next to him. He didn't push me away, so I assumed this was how people slept together.
I stared at him, wondering if sleeping with another person also meant waiting for the other person to fall asleep before falling asleep yourself.
Considering that I didn't want Mr. Koon to wait for me, I bid him goodnight and closed my eyes.
Unlike Maria, he didn't any put distance between us as we slept. Baam slept close to me, curling up at my side like a cat. I could feel his warmth seeping through the fabric of my clothes.
Unlike Maria, he said "Good night, Mr. Koon," before closing his eyes. I whispered, "Sleep well" as I, too, closed my eyes.
Unlike Maria, he wrapped his arms around me in the middle of the night.
Baam's actions seemed tentative at first. His hands reached for me slowly, one hand sliding between my waist and the mattress to settle on the small of my back and the other hand lightly gripping my shoulder as he pulled himself much closer to me. I opened my eyes to see his face so close to mine.
I recalled Baam saying that Rachel had been the only person he ever had a chance to interact with before entering the tower. Rachel probably never slept next to him or held him that way, judging by how awkward it seemed for him to touch another's body.
It was pitiful how he most probably knew nothing about the feeling of holding another living being.
He stared into my eyes with a worried expression. I felt his hands trembling.
I didn't know what to do. I've never slept next to anyone my entire life. All I knew was that it felt safe and comforting to be next to him, to hold Mr. Koon. I always wondered how it would feel to touch another person.
I was nervous. My hands were shaking. The act was called 'hugging', right? Rachel had told me about the concept but never demonstrated it, so I didn't know if I hugged Mr. Koon the way I'm supposed to. Or if I was supposed to ask if I could hug the person before doing so.
And then I was worried. I didn't ask. Maybe Mr. Koon didn't want a hug but I hugged him anyway.
My breathing became a little frantic I saw him open his eyes. His expression was unreadable as he continued to stare with his striking blue eyes at my face. I suddenly felt him wrap his arms around me.
I take it that he didn't mind me hugging him. I started taking slow, sure and steady breaths.
I decided to mimic his actions and ended up having my legs touch his as I could feel his heart beating faintly against my chest. His breath was warm on my face. Our arms were looped around each other's waists.
"So this is… hugging?" Baam asked as he copied the way I held him.
"Yeah." I replied as he closed his eyes once more. His breathing was steady and calm now. I went back to sleep.
As I suspected, Baam knew nothing about physical intimacy with another living being.
I seem to have woken up much earlier than Mr. Koon that morning. He never let go of me as we slept. My one arm pinned between Mr. Koon and the mattress was getting numb, but I didn't mind. His other arm must be feeling numb, too.
I waited for Mr. Koon to wake up. It was probably something people do when they sleep together.
To pass the time, I observed his sleeping form.
Mr. Koon's chest rose and fell slowly. His eyelashes were long and white, but slightly blue at the tips when I looked a lot closely. His pale pink lips were chapped and slightly parted. His skin was smooth and warm. He wasn't wearing his bandana.
His bandana… had the Koon family's crest on it, right?
I had wondered what it was like to have a family. All I had were my friends. Was it any different?
Unlike Maria, he was still there beside me when I had woken up.
Our positions have changed but barely; our arms were still wrapped around each other and our legs were now loosely intertwined. Baam was already awake, quietly staring at my face as I internally fought against my early morning grogginess. I had wondered how long he had been observing me as I slept.
He had smiled and said, "Good morning, Mr. Koon."
"Good morning," I had replied. I felt my arm getting really numb as Baam's weight had it pressed against the bed for a good part of the night.
I let go of him and flexed my hand while my other hand massaged the sore points of my arm.
Baam didn't let go of me immediately. His eyes were glued to my hands in between our bodies.
I looked back up at him when he suddenly stopped massaging his sore arm. Mr. Koon had a questioning look on his face.
"… You know you don't have to hold me the entire time we're next to each other. I'm sure you want to get the feeling back in your arms." Mr. Koon had sounded like he was teasing me. He probably was.
My face felt hot as I let him go, feeling the blood flow normally back into my arm. Massaging the sore points with my other hand helped a lot, as I've learned from watching Mr. Koon do it.
"Thanks," I muttered, avoiding his gaze. As I looked down, I noticed our legs were still entwined beneath the sheets. It didn't make the heat leave my face. Did hugging involve the legs? Should I ask Mr. Koon to-
"I should be thanking you, Baam, for letting me sleep next to you last night." I had heard him say.
"… Why did you decide to sleep next to me last night?" I asked.
'I don't have to touch the person, but there are some nights when I want to just feel another person's presence beside me while I sleep. It's enough to make me feel a little less alone. And I won't sleep next to just anyone,' is what I would have replied.
Instead I had said, "I just wanted to."
Baam looked me in the eye and asked, "Why sleep next to me? Why not Miss Androssi? Or Mr. Rak?"
At his question, I couldn't help but smirk. Baam had seemed to wonder what I was finding amusing, judging by the slight pout and the furrowed brows on his babyish face.
"I don't feel as relaxed around them like I do with you. Androssi's likely to kill me if I so much as dared to try sleeping in the same room with her. And that gator would probably complain the whole night."
Baam continued to look at me, saying nothing. I wished I had known what he was thinking.
I had decided it was time for me to leave. If I had left at that moment, I would end up having plenty of time to spare in order to get to my own room before the others started to wake. I had the same worrying feeling in my gut as the time I left Maria's room. The longer I stayed, the bigger the chance I'd get caught leaving a room I wasn't supposed to be in, whether the original occupant was still inside or not.
I got my legs free from Baam's. I sat up, removed the sheets from my person, and swung my legs off the edge of the bed so I ended up turning my back to him. I knew that I was supposed to be getting back to my quarters, but I couldn't move. Not until I had blurted out a question sitting at the back of my mind.
"Why did you let me spend the night with you?" I had asked.
Baam didn't take longer than a second to reply. He said, "Because I trust you, Mr. Koon. You're not a bad person." Baam's straightforward answer made me smile sadly.
"… Maybe not to you," I murmured.
"Did you say something, Mr. Koon?" He sounded like he didn't hear me. Good.
I turned my head, staring at Baam from the corner of my eye. "Why did you embrace me last night?"
"I thought it was something people do when they sleep together." Baam truly was an innocent boy.
Mr. Koon merely nodded his head to acknowledge my answer. I wished I had known what he was thinking.
"I'll see you later." After he said that, Mr. Koon stood up off my bed.
I stared at Mr. Koon's back as he walked out of the room barefoot. Somehow the sight of him leaving with his shoulders slightly hunched the moment he walked through the door made me feel empty inside.
Viole clutched the sheets tightly in his hand as he attempted to go to sleep, hanging on to the feeling of safety he felt when Koon had been holding him in his arms five years ago.
Closing the door to Baam's room behind me somehow left me feeling melancholic. I quickly but quietly padded my way back to my room barefoot. I had passed no one on the way back.
When I had gotten to my quarters and closed the door behind me, the room felt colder than it should. I lay on my bed that had been unused for the night, playing out different scenarios of today's test in my head.
Koon sighed as he stared at the ceiling, thinking that it was pointless to be so sad about the memory since Baam was alive after all these years.
Koon convinced himself that he should be looking forward to climb the tower with Baam and Rak again after the entire situation with FUG is resolved. He simply closed his eyes, recalling the memory of Baam's warmth that made him feel less alone. That memory, which used to make him feel upset for Baam's death, now gave him hope.