Summary : At what point do you say 'No' to what everyone else wants to you do, and at what point do you embrace your own dreams in leiu of everyone elses. Hermione has a large choice to make, and no matter what she decides, someone is going to be hurt. And what do you do when on one side you know your reputation and the reputation of your child will be shot, and on the other, it could get you killed if it goes on any longer. HG/SS with some HP/DM/PP tossed in for good measure.
I've always wondered at what point people started giving me those looks. The ones that hold a smile, but the eyes show pity. The ones that I used to as a child scoff at and say 'That will never be me.'. I noticed those looks about two months ago, and I have no idea how long they'd been there. It was after the annual Christmas party at Hogwarts, when I was enjoying talking to Filius and Sinestra, only to hear my husband of 8 years say, "Oh don't worry, Hermione'll do it, she isn't really enjoying the party that much anyways. You know her, not much of a social butterfly or anything, but she's got some redeeming qualities, it's why I married her." I found myself stuck mid word to the two ex teachers, and that's when I saw Minerva over Filius' shoulder giving me what probably was meant to be a smile of thanks, and instead was one she usually reserved for Molly.
I remember a year after graduation asking Minerva why she always looked at Molly that way and she said, "Because Hermione. Molly Weasley, then Molly Prewett was one of the best witches when it came to charms. She practically revolutionized the home makers industry. But she was tied down and never allowed to live her dream, her husband just handed out her charms to friends and they spread like wild fire. They could have had more than enough for all of their children if he'd just listened to her. Now look at her. She's a wonderful mother, but she has nothing but those children, has never worked, what will she do when Ginny is gone I wonder." And she was giving me that same look now.
I found myself turning from my conversation that I'd actually been enjoying quite well. It wasn't often anymore I got to talk to an adult about anything other then the latest cold of this child or that, or what to use for rashes. Or my personal favorite, it's flu season and Rose brought it home from the next door neighbor and now we're all sick. Finding it very rarely I pulled the Old Hermione out of the dust bunnies and let her out, I found it very refreshing to find myself doing it now. My normally calm and very 'mothery' look, now flaring with anger as a slow smile that was anything but warm popped on to my lips as I stated quite clearly so my husband could hear me. "Actually 'Ronald', " I could tell by his flinch he knew I'd heard him and he knew I was pissed. I hadn't used his full name since our three month anniversary and he decided to buy me an exercise machine for our anniversary. "I'm enjoying my conversation with the Professors, why don't /you/ go change the nappies and put them to bed." Keeping my voice calm and controlled, but everything in body language was warning him not to open his mouth.
Thankfully for both the party and my husbands well being he looked at me wide eyedly and with a barely veiled look of disgust turned to go and do as I suggested, as I went back to my conversation. But not before I heard the high pitched voices of Molly Weasley and Ginerva Zambini pipe up. "Well I never." Molly said none too quietly. "It's not like he doesn't work all day, you know Ron told me how he's been coming home finding her sitting in the same place he left her, not even having showered or done the morning dishes? You know how sensitive my poor Ron's hands are and he had to do the dishes several nights this week. It's as if she's suddenly decided she's too good for him or the kids anymore." Followed of course by the bane of mine and Harry's existances. Ginny Zambini. "Oh that's nothing mom. I went to take cobbler over there the other day, and what do I find? A weeks worth of dirty laundry and the kids running around as if they were little heathens! I swear I don't know what's gotten into her, I'm starting to think that Ron's worries are actually true if shes' doing all of this. I always knew she wasn't-" She never got to finish that statement. As the sound of two back to back slaps are heard and the astonished sound of the two women gasping.
Barely pausing in my conversation as if they hadn't spoken at all I noticed that Minerva had made her way over there and very resoundly pulled in some of that Scottish ire to slap the holy hell out of the both of them. "Ginerva Zambini you shut your mouth this instant! You and I both know that isn't true, I'm over at that house every day and it's immaculate! Even better than yours and you have servants that she doesn't have. You have elves as well, something she doesn't have. She cooks, she cleans, she does it all, with no thanks from you or her husband. So unless you have something constructive to say about your afternoons in Diagon Alley the last six months I suggest you shut your mouth before I give you a detention with Filch and I don't care if you are an adult, because I can and WILL do it!"
It took all my strength not to laugh at this, it was a well known fact that Blaise Zambini didn't come to these functions for one reason and one reason alone. His adult fear of of the Head Mistress, as she'd proved to him five years prior that she had the spells and ability to use them to put adults in detention as well. There was a little known fact that once you stepped into Hogwarts, if you'd been a student here, you always were one regardless of Graduation and could at any time be called upon by the Head Mistress through the magic that was imbued into the castle itself. He never did say what he'd been made to do that night, but he'd never stepped on the property since and no amount of emergency could make him.
Without so much as a pause, I listened as Minerva whipped around, her wand out now towards Molly who looked like she was about to raise some holy hell of her own. "Not one word out of you Molly. You could have been rich if you'd listened to even ONE person who knew about your knack for making household charms. How many of the charms that are considered 'common use' did you come up with? How many other areas could you have gone into? And you can not tell me you haven't thought about it and been resentful of the fact you never got to stretch yourself, because just last week you were rueing the day you made Hermione and Ron follow in yours and Arthurs footsteps. If you can't keep your mouth in check then I strongly suggest you see yourself to your room. Do I make myself CLEAR." The last word bellowed as if she were a drill sergeant on some Muggle army base.
The silence around the room was almost as deafening as Minerva could be once she got ahold of you. Only the sounds of Molly's and Ginny's breathing was heard. Finally both women just lowered their heads under Minerva's stare and went their separate directions along the floor. Molly seeming to be avoiding her husband as she went of all places over to Augusta Longbottom where the woman just pointed to a chair next to her. Watching Molly turn into the young girl before her eyes as the four times remeoved cousin just started easily talking to her, though whatever was being said apparently it had the Weasley matriarch thinking. While Ginny couldn't seem to find anyone who would do anything but turn their backs on her. Just as she was about to leave in tears, I found myself ending the conversation and moving over to her, touching her shoulder. "Come on Gin, why don't we refill our drinks and go and find Luna. I think she was regailing hagrid about something named Greshanacks or something." A brow lifting faintly and letting my lips twitch faintly as I saw the woman who used to be my best friend in the world give me a watery smile of thanks and cling on to my hand like she had back in her third year.
Ignoring the approving looks from everyone else, I took Ginny over to where Hagrid and Luna were, knowing that Luna would drag Ginny into the conversation and that Hagrid would have her laughing from one of his big hugs within just a few minutes. Squeezing her hand lightly I murmur, "i'll be back in a couple with our drinks." And head over to the table. By passing my favorite desserts and fruity treats, and just heading for the long since spiked refilling punchbowl. Taking my time in getting us to the bowl and refilling our cups, I was able to take time to take stock of my surroundings. So I wasn't very surprised when I sensed a black looking figure just faintly behind me. Never once turning around I found myself murmuring faintly, "You were right. I never thought I'd hear it for myself, but you were right." Unable to hide both the hint of disgust as well as the feeling of betrayal in my voice. "But what can I do? I have Rose now."
There's a long silence and if it weren't for the long slender fingers attached to the pale hand and holding out a new scoop of punch I'd think my shadow had left me to my own stupidity. "There is a business card in your left side pocket. Tomorrow when he leaves, because he will still be upset and decide to go and 'cool his head'. I want you to take Rose to this address and talk to Mssr's W&W. They are adept at this sort of thing and they will help you. It'll be my pleasure to help you pay for it, and if you suggest payment I will hex you inside that wall." Comes the snark I'm so used to hearing.
Barely stifling a chuckle I gave just the barest of nods as I moved the cups over to be refilled, taking my time and one at a time. "Alright. He's actually leaving tonight supposedly for a practice with the team that starts early tomorrow morning." Supposedly being stressed out as these 'practices' had been happening much more frequently especially since she stopped letting him touch her. She was blind, she knew he was keeping her copy of the Prophet or the Witch magazine from showing up at the house, but she'd seen other copies and was long since disillusioned about the man she had married. "I'll owl you once I'm finished to let you know. Rose and I will probably go to the Three Broomsticks for a late lunch if anyone happened to want to stop by, I already got a room upstairs to eat in. We all know how Rose gets around crowds." My daughter having picked up some of her mothers wonderful anti-social tendancies, and though she'd gotten better it was easy to see that she definately wasn't a daddies girl.
Once the cups were refilled, as if I hadn't been talking to anyone at all I turned and headed back to where Hagrid and Ginny were. Gently pressing the cup into my sister in laws hand that was gently shaking and helping her sip at it. Patting her arm and soothing her hair back to show her I held no ill will. And I really didn't, in the end I knew it was just what her mother had been slowly spewing, and her mother's was due to her own bitterness. I'd long since lost my fire in the ability to respond to such things unless they came directly from my husbands mouth.
It was about an hour later when Ron came stomping his way back over to me, whipping me around so my remaining bit of my drink ended up splashing over Luna's icy blue robes. Pursing my lips faintly I waved my wand to clean the mess and said, "My apologies Luna, it seems I'm needed for something, will you both excuse me?" Giving a rather tight smile as I noticed Ginny's look of worry and just patted her hand reassuringly. Looking then up at Ron, I met his stealy blue eyes with my own flashing amber ones. "Yes Ronald?" I found myself saying in a rather controlled tone.
"What in Merlins blue balls do you think you were doing? I told you you were gonna go take care of that brat, and we've been over this before. " His meaty hand starting to point towards her face, and she stealed herself for what she knew was coming. Not realizing that in three different areas of the room heads were suddenly darting up and all three individuals were clutching at either a necklace or bracelet. "When I tell you to do something, you're gonna damn well do it, and stop being a prissy bitch. You're her mother, stop fecking acting like it or so help me, I'm gonna dropkick you and you'll never see her aga-URK"
I found myself blinking in surprise as I saw Harry pressing his wand up against Ron's throat, while Draco's was at his temple and of all things Pansy who had appeared next to me, had hers pointed at his crotch. Seeing his blue eyes flick to me wildly I just shrugged and stepped back a step, crossing my arms over my chest in a show I wasn't gonna do anything. That was until, "Hermione -love." Said Pansy in a low voice, "Why don't you grab Rose and go up to the tower. I'll be up in a bit, Minerva made up our old Eighth year room for us, you me and Ginny can go up and have a bit of a quiet girls night the rest of the night, hmm?" Her own green eyes never once moving off of Ron.
Thinking about it for a moment, I was about to say something, when Ginny appeared at my side, tucking her hand into mine again. Both of us nodding to the other before I moved to peck Minerva on her cheek, hug Hagrid and Luna and then after pecking each of my rescuers on the cheek I went with Ginny. Only a bit surprised to find her tugging me as if to make sure I got out of the line of fire pretty damned quickly.
I never did find out what was said to Ron, but he left like he'd planned to that night, and me and my girls as I called them all had a great time eatting too much chocolate and enjoying my secret stash of brandy that apparently had still been stashed from when we'd been in school. I found myself up before everyone else and left a note saying I had an errand to run and I'd see the both of them later on in the week if I didn't contact them sooner. I'd taken care of my little Rose, gotten her cleaned up and then dressed in her ruffliest purple dress before leading her out and going to the address on the card I'd been given.
You can only guess my surprise when I opened the door and it was Roses squeeling, "FORGE! GRED!" That had me looking up at the smiling twins leaning inside the inner doorway. Both of them leaning down to catch the flailing three year old as she made her way like a rocket over to them. With her tucked firmly between them, they meandered their way over and pecked my cheek. "Hey there 'Mione. We were wondering if you were going to sleep the day away." One of them said, the other one picking up a moment later. "We've closed the office for the morning so it'll just be the three of us. Come sit down luv."
Following them in I moved over to sit down, playing with Roses hair as she played with one of the pigmy puffs the boys had brought over. Unable to control my confusion I asked, "I don't understand, you two? You're the ones ? But I thought I was meeting.." And I trailed off as they both pointed to their degrees. Yes, apparently they'd shocked everyone and used the profits of their businesses to go to law school. Not that they told anyone, they went by W&W and only worked by referal. Even then it was said all cases were done closed door and everyone had to sign non disclosure agreements first.
It didn't take long for me to get my equilibrium back as the boys both started explaining things. They'd been approached by someone a year ago and begun their investigation on their little brother and what they found had them deciding not to stop till the day she'd walked in. Apparently six months prior Ron had been benched and his pay suspended for sleeping with his coachs 17 year old daughter and knocking her up. Now he'd gne on no pay so that his salary went to pay for the kid or abortion as the case may be as she apparently refused to keep the child once it was apparently Ron had no intention of divorcing and going to her. So the monthly stipend the 'Golden Trio' received from the Ministry was all they were living on. Now if it were just her and Rose it wouldn't be a problem, but Ron's spending habits were much more out of control than her own.
Continuing on the twins informed her of Ron's going back with Lavendar Brown who only recently realized that Ron wasn't in the middle of divorce proceedings, and apparently is the reason he's in such a foul mood as of late. And last but not least he'd started gambling and of all things he was better on the 'DeathPoll' of muggle celebrities, people he knew nothing about. I found myself almost sliding out of my chair but Fred held me up while George went to lay Rose down for her nap in a near by crib. "We're... he's lost it all?" I heard myself squeeking. It was a suddenly scroll that was held under my nose that was the last straw though. Apparently Ron had not only morgaged the house twice, but he'd dipped into our as in his AND mine for the next twenty years and forged my signature. I didn't even hear the pops of apparation outside the office as I felt myself beginning to shake both in barely controlled fury as well as fear of when the hell all of this had happened. Had I walked into the twilight zone? Had I fallen into a coma and this was my personal hell?
It was the soothing hands of Pansy touching my hair softly and Harry on one side of me and Draco on the other with the twins in front of me that had me finally cooling down before I completely lost it and ended up leaving Rose an orphan. Holding back any tears I may have I lifted my chin and asked simply, "I need to know.. if there is a way to one, prove the signature isn't mine. And two if I can keep my daughter if I divorce him. He keeps threatening to take her and dropkick me and that I'd never see her again. I don't care what happened to him, but no one is taking my Rosebud from me." Having named her after my favorite childhood version of sleeping beauty, the fullname only ever coming out when I was at my exploding point. Looking at the scroll again I was thinking back to when the twins said Lavendar had gotten pissed and asked idly, "Am I the only one who noticed that Lavendar Brown is the signing signature of authentication on this form?" Handing it back as the twins just looked at me and then at each other and then at me again.
"'Mione, we love you." Said one of them. "Marry us." Said the other, and I couldn't help it I chucked a pack of gum at each of them from my purse as tears of frustration slid down my cheeks. "Ouch!" Came simultaneous exclamations as I manged to bean each of them in the forhead. Though their grins showed there was no pain they were just being brats again.
"Draco. Is it too late to take you three up on your offer for me and Rose? I'd need to get everything out of the house in like the next hour that's mine before he comes back tomorrow. I can give you a list of the things that were his." I asked, keeping my eyes on my beaded bag that I never went anywhere without. "I can't take any chances that I'll be home when he gets home, or Rose. And other than Hogwarts it's the safest place I can think of." Shaking my head I couldn't help but ask, "Why didn't anyone tell me I was turning into this person? I was so unhappy and I could never figure out why... I don't understand, what did I-" I was cut off by a perfectly manicured hand clapping over my mouth.
"You didn't do anything wrong 'Mione. What you did was have more maturity, more self control, more loyalty than he ever had." Said Pansy after removing her hand from my mouth. "And we've already been to your place to clean it out of yours and Roses things. We told you we had that wing opened and refurbished well yours and Roses apartment is in that area. Your library and office, her nursery and room and then your personal suite." The woman said looking down at her bushy haired friend.
There wasn't much more I could say to that, Holding back my emotions carefully as I nodded and watched as the twins were sending owl after owl, copies of various documents, evidence as well as different supboena's were being submitted. All in all my day was pretty busy, I'd ended up at the Three Broomsticks after a rather emotionally and mentally exhausting day with the W&W lawyers as well as my friends. They told me to go and enjoy my lunch and me and Rose went to wait for my benefactor in this whole mess. Sitting in the private room upstairs I had Rose cradled in my arms singing softly to her while brushing my thumb over her forhead. Watching as her small little bow mouth slowly parted and she lightly snored the deeper she got into sleep. "She sleeps like you do." Came that deep silken voice again.
"I do not snore, Severus Snape." Glancnig over to him though the slight twitch in my lips might have given away the fact I knew he was right. "Everything is being taken care of. I won't even have to be at the hearing, my things are moved into the manor along with Roses things. I've got to figure out what I want to do from here, but I'm thinking... at least until Rose is ready for school." Babbling now as his hand going up made me pause.
"I am retiring from Hogwarts after this year." Unable to hide my astonishment my eyes went wide. "I'll be also living at the manor since my house was destroyed, I normally only stay there for a month or two during the summer but I'll be doing some independant researching in potions and I need a partner as well as someone who is better at Arithmancy than I am. Think about it, I want you to brush up on both during the rest of the year if you agree. We'll begin working around September if you agree. I want you to have time to settle everything first."
I couldn't stop the sudden want to pull him down and snog the living daylights out of him, and though I contained myself, I could tell by his lifting brow he'd probably read my reaction fairly easily. Clearing my throat I answered simply. "I don't need to think about it, I accept. The Malfoy-Potters set me up with my own library and office I'm sure I can put playpens in both areas and study while she's playing and/or napping so I can start reacquainting myself right away. If there's anything in particular you want me to-" And of course in true Snape fashion he pulled an object out of his pocket and handed it to me.
Shrunken books probably about twenty of them along with various magazines from the looks of it. He never said a word just put them in my pocket and lifted a brow. Unable to stop the sigh and hint of laughter I couldn't help but ask, "Am I that bloody predictable?" A shrug was his only answer and we spent a rather relaxing afternoon talking while more than half the time he spent holding Rose while she had burrowed herself into his robes playing with his buttons and babbling to him softly. Now and again giggling when he'd tug on a toe or run a finger on the underside of one of her feet.
All in all the divorce to Ronald Weasley was rather explosive. Lavendar Brown had ended up with 2 years in Azkaban and fired from the Ministry for forging documents of a war hero's signature. The 20,000 galleons that had been lost from the stipend as well as from the two mortgages I didn't approve had to be paid back to the ministry by the both of them while the ministry otherwise gave me the gold I'd lost into my personal account. For the first time in my life I'd allowed Rita Skeeter to have a full interview and I let Ron have it with both barrels. Making sure to point out everything including the young girl he'd slept with who's had an abortion (The wizarding england frowned heavily on those, so the fact he allowed it blacklisted him from a lot of things). Because of all this, not only did he get ten years in Azkaban but he'd been banned from any and all Quiddich shops, as well as from ever playing the sport for the remainder of his lifetime. Molly Weasley ended up taking her years without children and making sure that all her newest charms were patented so that she could receive the dividends from them and sold them to numerous different companies so she could be getting a regular amount of money going into hers and Arthers vault. Ginny found herself much more humbled these days and seemed to be keeping herself away from the Burrow, the rumor being that she was writing a self help book for independant witches. On how to combine the job and homelife and still keep a happy relationship. Blaise oddly enough couldn't be happier and was happy to endorse any and all books she was writing.
In the end, me and Severus ended up staying at the Malfoy-Potter Manor for about eight and a half years, up until the point that my little Rosebud was in Hogwarts herself. We'd already been married for 6 years by that point, and Rose was convinced Severus was her father, and he never once corrected her on it. We found our own home, not far from where we had been, sitting on fifty acre's and though we had to spend a lot of time fixing it up while my girl was in school by the time she came back for the holidays it was bright and shining, and we had a true home. I couldn't be happier with the way things turned out to be honest. I may not know how I got to the point I had been in, but i've sworn never to get that way again. I can't say me and Severus have the perfect marriage, Ginny and I have come to the conclusion there's no such thing. But my relationship with my husband is growing every day, and as I tell him everyday when he comes up from the lab. "Thank you for being my silent hero."