" I hate this job, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it." She grumbled her eyes filling with tears.
" Buffy what are you talking about?" Dawn asked coming out of the room, she didn't know what was up with her little sister right now but she knew something was wrong, Buffy had been acting weird ever since Spike had left without a word.
"Nothing Dawn, come on let's go!" Buffy bit out trying not to get any angrier than she had to.
" What do you mean nothing you were talking to yourself." Dawn asked a little nervously, as she tucked a strand of long blond hair behind her ear.
" I said nothing Dawn now get your things so we can get out of here." Buffy growled trying to ignore her sister's ramblings.
" Yes Ma'am I'm ready to go now." Dawn gasped a little hurt at her sister's deception. " You know if you ever need to talk to anyone I'm here. I might be your younger sister but you can talk to me."
Buffy just walked away she knew she would have to talk about it, she just wasn't quite ready to face the fact that he was gone, and she didn't know where he was. She'd thought about going to Angel and trying to find Spike through him, but then she would have to tell Giles about the whole thing and wasn't that the reason she'd ruined everything between them in the first place?
" Buffy did you love Spike?" Dawn asked a little nervously she really didn't want her older sister to go off on her for anything.
" Yeah Dawn I did, I didn't say anything to anyone because I thought it would piss everyone off but now, now all I know is it hurts to be without him and I want to find him." Buffy told her little sister easily.
" I think you should find him. Spike is a good guy and I think that you two make a great couple, I mean the UST between you two is so thick that you could cut it with a knife." Dawn giggled as Buffy began to blush.
" UST Dawn what how do you know what U.S.T is?" Buffy asked a little surprised.
"I am thirteen years old, Unresolved Sexual Tension is a pretty comman theory what with Dawson's Creek and Passions being so popular and all." Dawn informed her smartly.
" Oh really well how would you suggest that I try to find Spike?" Buffy asked as they walked in the house.
" Well I think the best place to look would be L.A., you know Spike he'll probably go to L.A. and try to pump information out of Angel." Dawn suggested putting her bag down on the floor and walking into the room.
" Yeah I think so to but do you have any suggestions about how I could find him." She ran up to her room and pulled a duffel bag out from under her bed and began filling it with clothes. Dawn followed behind her.
" Well maybe you should do what you were going to do in the first place, I mean think about it who would be the first person Spike would think to go to when he got to L.A.?" Dawn asked flopping down onto Buffy's bed.
" You're right I mean he would go to Angel to tell him all about how much he hates him." Buffy replied with a little pride she liked the fact that Spike was able to retain his sense of humor even when he was hurting.
" So when are we leaving?" Dawn asked nosily.
"What do you mean when are we leaving?" Buffy retorted " You are staying here with Xander and Anya so they can watch you."
" No, Mom's out of town and you know as well as I do that Mom will have a fit if you leave me here." Dawn taunted knowingly. She knew that Buffy would rather face a whole mess of vampires than their mothers wrath.
Buffy sighed and slowly relented knowing that Dawn was right and her mother would throw a hissy fit if she left Dawn there without her there, " All right grab some clothes but you have to stay out of the way, I'm not going to mess with you while I'm there."
" Yes Buffy." Dawn huffed stalking out of the room to pack.
" Sisters" Buffy grumbled as she picked up the phone to call Giles and inform him that she was going to look for Spike. " Giles... "
Giles was surprised to hear his Slayer's voice coming through the phone " Yes is there something wrong?"
" No I'm okay listen I'm going to L.A. tonight." Buffy just flat out told him.
" Why is something wrong with Angel?" He asked starting to pace his living room.
" Well no I need to find Spike." Buffy flat out told him running her fingers through her golden blond hair.
" Um and might I ask why?" Giles asked a little disconcerted as far as he knew Buffy and Spike couldn't stand each other.
" Well I'm kinda sorta love him." Buffy threw out without much preamble.
" Oh dear lord." Giles murmered sitting down on his couch " Did you just say you were in love with Spike?"
" Um yeah I kinda realized it after Riley left, I would go to Spike's crypt and we would dance to this song and then the other night I realized that I was in love with him." Buffy gushed then went on and said " Then I ran out because I was afraid of what everyone would say and I decided that it didn't matter to me what you thought because I love Spike and I don't want to live without him."
With that said Buffy hung up the phone and turned away breathlessly. Giles just sat there looking at the phone in his hand dumbfounded at what he'd just heard. Buffy had already packed her bag and rushed Dawn out of the house by the time Giles thought to call back.
" Umm Buffy is there any reason why you just hung up on Giles?" Dawn asked as they got into the car.
" Yeah I thought we should go, plus I didn't really want to talk to him right now." Buffy explained putting the car in gear.
" Okay, so how long will it take us to get there?" Dawn asked settling into the seat of the car and wiggling around until she got comfortable.
"About an hour to an hour and a half." Buffy replied shifting the car fron drive and into neutral.
" Okay well I'm going to sleep until we get there." Dawn mumbled as already falling into a deep sleep.
Buffy drove a long in silence thinking about how she couldn't wait until she got to L.A. she really wanted to see Spike and tell him that she was in love with him and never wanted to let him go. All of the sudden she started singing the words to another song Spike used to listen to all the time.
If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?
I must be travling on now, cause there's to many places I've got to see
If I stay here with you girl, things just wouldn't be the same
Cause I'm as free as a bird now and this bird you'll never change
Lord know's I can't change.
Bye bye babe it's been a sweet love
Though these feeling's I've got to change
Please don't take it so badly
Cause lord know's I'm to blame
but if I stay here with you boy things just couldn't be the same
Cause I'm as free as a bird now
and this bird you'll never chain
Lord know's I can't change
Fly high Freebird
Buffy drove to L.A. that night knowing her life could change with just a few words. She just hoped she knew the right ones.