Mario Vs Luigi

A man named Luigi once went to an Italian diner and decided to order some calamari. The poor octopus

named Mario, ran for his life, running as quickly as his tentacles could carry it. as he ran out the door

and jacked a car, the restaurant called the police. Seeing the police cars, he jumped into the ocean and

seemed to be home free but had a brief heart attack when he saw a fishing vessel. As he got roped up

and packaged, it was sent to the

same restaurant it had just escaped from. It continually fled from the restaurant again and again,

causing John to get more and more annoyed. Finally, at his wits end, he covered poor Mario in itching

powder.

he scratched nonstop until he resembled less of an octopus and more of a bright red strawberry.

Unfortunately, a vegan chef tried to cook said strawberry causing him to sue the restaurant. He won the

Case by painting Luigi as a savage for wanting to try seafood. he appealed to reason, stating he had 2

Kids at home, one with polio. The jury and the court looked at Luigi who just stood there slack jawed.

"I was hungry" was his only response. The restaurant cooked him a 3 course calamari feast on the

house. Mario went mad with grief and played dead on the plate. Luigi simply sautéed him with

vinegar, salt and soy sauce and put him outside for the homeless. The news reported 4 dead homeless

men the next morning, in various states of dismemberment. He took Mario to the dumpster and

threw him into a compactor. he barely survived the crushing, finding safety in a slit of wood. Now mad

as hell, Mario grabbed a shotgun and slithered its way to his house. Luigi simply threw some bird seed

outside. Other birds took notice and lifted him off the ground, trying to eat him. the next morning, not a

bird could be seen. Luigi finally picked up the now fuming Mario and fed prunes prunes by the barrel

along with rancid spaghetti.

He then taped Mario in place. Through sheer force of will, he survived the initial Diarrhea blast but not

the second wave 5 hours later which dried him out, killing him.