Song of my Soul
AN/ I'm taking a break in tradition and writing something other than my usual coupling of Lia and Matt. Bear with me, I'm going to attempt at a Sorato from Matt's POV. I know this will probably be lousy, but I want to give it a shot anyway.
I've always had a hard time showing my true
feelings. People say I'm self-centered and conceited, but that's the furthest
thing from the truth. In reality, I'm just terribly hurt and alone. I put all
my time into my music, trying to escape the pain of my life. My parents
divorced when I was young, shattering my tender world. My mother and brother
left in what had to have been the messiest separation in all history, leaving
me alone with my father. He would leave me alone most nights, causing me to fend
for myself. That's when I began becoming cold, hard. My soul seemed empty and
bitter, and it would remain that way for most of my life.
If it weren't for Gabumon, my own personal…whatever he
is, I would have completely forgotten how to care, or how to cry. That was four
years ago. My heart has begun to heal, but I'm still just as hollow inside. The
scared, melancholy little boy who fell asleep alone at the kitchen table
waiting for his father still lives inside me, tormenting my dreams.
As I stared out my apartment window, trying to think of
lyrics to match the melancholy melody of my soul, the phone started ringing.
"Hey, this is Matt."
"Matt?" Sora's voice was
quavering on the other end of the line. It sounded as though tears were
catching in her throat.
"Sora, is everything all
right?"
"Tai and I got in a
fight. We…we…" she couldn't finish her sentence, beginning to cry.
"Sora…" My heart had
instantly melted. I longed to reach out and comfort her, but all I could do was
offer her my voice on the line. "Sora, if you want to come over and talk, my
door is open."
"Thanks Matt," she
managed to choke out. "Is it all right if I do?"
"Of course."
As I hung up the phone,
something fluttered in my heart. It started beating rapidly, and my breath got
short. I was dizzy, unable to stand. To put it bluntly, as I often do, I had
fallen for Sora, hard.
~*~
Within ten minutes of her call, Sora was ringing my
doorbell. She stood on the doormat for two seconds, staring at me. Her amber
eyes were bloodshot, her cheeks reddened, her ginger hair wild, as though she
had been crying for hours. She probably had been.
"Hi Matt," she whispered
before crying afresh. That lightheaded feeling washed over me again, and
nervously I put my arms around her and cradled her gently.
"Don't cry, Sora."
Emotions flooded me as I
escorted her to my room. It was one of those times I was furious with my father
for never buying us a proper couch.
"Now, what happened with
you and Tai?" I asked calmly, sitting on the floor. Sora sank onto my bed, her
arms folded across her chest, her head bowed low.
"I broke a date with him
the other night. I wasn't feeling well, and to be honest, I didn't want to go.
Tai got really mad at me and accused me of not caring anymore. We got into a
fight and he…he…dumped me," she whimpered miserably.
"Did you ever really love
him?" I asked. Surprisingly, she shook her head.
"I thought I did. But
after a while I just kind of…fell out of love."
I wish I could have told her I related to the situation,
but that would be lying. Frankly, I've never had a girlfriend…Jun doesn't
count, she forced me and I hate her with an intense loathing. I'm not even sure
how to really act around girls, so I avoid them. Except Sora. I can be myself
around Sora, because she's not some starstruck giggly teenager. She's…well,
she's Sora, and I love her because she's Sora. That made absolutely no sense,
but it probably makes a lot more sense than if Tai was explaining it. Stupid
Tai. That old hatred I used to carry for him is back, and stronger than ever.
It was his fault Sora's here crying. But…if Tai had never fought with Sora, I
might never get this chance to tell her… I'm going to do it. I'm going to tell
Sora I like her. I don't care what she says or does; I'm going to tell her.
"Sora, I…" My words froze, stillborn in my throat.
Shimatta, I'm going to botch it! I'm going to end up making an idiot out of
myself like T.K.! Come on, Matt, it's Sora! You've known her since, what,
forever? She was staring at me, and I wondered if she could hear my heart
beating as loudly as I heard it. I wasn't going to wimp out. I'm stronger than
that. But I couldn't just say it. My heart was all for just plainly and bluntly
blurting, "Sora, I like you and I've liked you since God knows when," but my body
wasn't. But if I didn't act soon, I would lose my chance. But I couldn't do it.
I couldn't find the words to say what I felt in my heart. Fortunately, I
wouldn't have to. Some divine intervention saved me at the last humanly
possible second.
"I think your phone's ringing," she said quietly, still
sniffling. I rolled my eyes and went out to the kitchen for the cordless.
"Ishida residence."
"Matt, it's Mimi. I just
heard about Sora."
"How?"
"Well…Tai told Kari, who
told T.K., who told Davis, Yolei, Cody, Ken, and Willis, and Cody told Joe, and
Joe called me, and oh shimatta, we left Izzy out again!"
"I'll call him later.
What's up? You and Joe didn't…"
"Break up? Are you
kidding? I love Joe and that's that. What I have to say is way more important
than my love life, though. I wasn't supposed to tell you this, Sora made me
swear to secrecy, but I figured you were having a tough time getting your own
feelings out."
"What makes you say
that?" I asked testily, my old defenses going up again.
"A girl's intuition.
Besides, you're the kind of guy that avoids our type."
I almost blushed. "So,
what did you have to tell me?"
"Sora likes you. Like
likes you likes you. I've been dying to tell you, but…you know."
I swear my heart stopped
beating for those next for seconds.
"Matt? Are you there,
Matt?"
"I…I'm here, Mimi. But
how is this supposed to help me?"
"Boy, you are clueless at
this, aren't you? She likes you, you like her, I'm sounding like that purple
dinosaur, and now you have to be the bigger person and tell her…that you like
her, not that I'm sounding like that dinosaur. If I hear that you haven't done
anything to tell her how you feel I'll make you miserable! Don't think I won't
find out, Matt Ishida! I can get your brother to tell me and if he won't then I'll
hear it all from Palmon, so there!"
"All right, all right.
Thanks for the pep talk Mimi."
"No problem."
I swallowed hard as Mimi hung up. Her little pep
talk helped, but it didn't calm the waves of nervousness and nausea that were
constantly washing over my body and soul. I didn't understand it. Me, Matt
Ishida, Bearer of the Crest of Friendship, frightened out of my wits by a
reaction Sora had yet to make. Then inspiration struck. The sheet music I had
discarded when Sora first called was still sitting neglected on the kitchen
table. I penciled in a verse or two, the words pouring from my heart. These
were the lyrics the melody of my soul was supposed to have. Within a few
moments, I had finished the song, and without a moment to spare.
"I should probably get
going. I don't want Mom to worry about me, and I think I have a tennis match
tomorrow," Sora mumbled, entering the kitchen just as depressed as earlier.
"Sora, wait a sec."
She sat down on one of
the miserable wooden chairs, and I forced myself to keep from scowling at the
lousy piece of furniture.
"Would you mind taking a
look at this?" I asked nervously, handing her the music.
"Not at all," she said, the ghost of a smile appearing on
her face. Sora pushed a strand of ginger hair from her face and read the lyrics
over, and, voice wavering, read part of it aloud, as I bit my lip and silently
prayed from across the table.
"No words can say just
how I feel. One look in your eyes and this love's for real. You put a song in
my soul, and I can speak from the heart. I've loved you, from the very start…"
I could tell I was
blushing now. I could feel the intense heat creeping up my flesh. Sora was
blushing just as hard.
"Matt, I don't exactly
know what to say."
"If you think I'm an
idiot and you never want to speak to me again, I'll understand."
"No, that's not it. I
mean, I never knew you felt this way."
"I was afraid to tell
you."
"Yeah? Well, I've always
kind of liked you too, Matt. I really liked being around you."
"That makes two of us.
But Sora, if you don't want to jump into a relationship right away, I'll
understand."
"Thanks. I do need a
little time to get my life in order, but at least now I know there's someone I
can turn to…other than Mimi or Biyomon, that is."
"Well, I wouldn't count
on Mimi. She's not one for keeping secrets."
"Is that who called? Mimi?! Ooh, Crest of Sincerity, ha.
Crest of Gossip would be a better choice," she groaned. I had to laugh. Sora
looked up at me and started giggling as well.
"So…" I said once we had
calmed down a little. "Where does that leave us?"
"With a brand-new
relationship, I guess," she said shyly. "Oh, shimatta, it's really late and Mom
wanted me to help her do inventory! I better go!"
"I'll walk you over
there, if you want," I offered, getting up.
Sora didn't say anything,
but calmly walked over to where I stood, rose up on her tiptoes, and kissed my
cheek. I must have looked puzzled, because the smile that followed was the best
explanation I could have received.
~*~
Well, I suppose this is the end of the story, but I'm
told it's not. It's just the beginning. I found that part of myself that had
been missing for so long. I called Mimi right after walking Sora home, I guess
I'll let you read the conversation.
"Hi Matt! You're on TV
again."
"The music video?"
"Mmm-hmm. It's the new
one. So…did you tell her?"
"Yep."
"And?"
"We're going to give it a
little time, since she just broke up, but, yeah."
The joyous shrieking that
followed was deafening.
"I'm soooo happy! I never
thought I'd see you two get together! Everyone knew you liked each other…maybe
not Tai, but the rest of us and all the digimon did."
"And you never said
anything?"
"We wanted you guys to."
"Mimi…"
"Hey, do I look like the
Digidestined that would interfere with your love life? Um, that's a rhetorical
question."
But yeah, Sora and I were "going out." It would be a slow
start, but we both agreed it was for the best interests of the both of us. I
guess I can officially say the story part is over, but my new life is just
beginning. With a fresh song in my soul, I can face tomorrow better than
before. Me and Sora, who'd have ever guessed?
~*~
Well, I did it. I wrote a Sorato. If you happen to be a Taiora advocate and you only read this to flame, I'd appreciate it if you didn't make any harsh comments. If this was lousy, say it NICELY and I'll write something worth reading next time.
~Lia